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Reddit Step Parenting

JanRebecca's picture

Submitted by JanRebecca on Mon, 04/30/2018 - 9:11am

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General Discussion

When I was searching for 'help' along the lines of stepparenting - I also came across the Reddit community   

 

 https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/

 

I notice that people in that community are mostly big happy families and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me and mine that we can't be like that??!!! 

I used to try so hard to accept SS8 and have us all be a big ole happy family on 'those' weekends but somehow I kept getting 'slapped in the face' .. So what makes them so much better at it than I am??!! I carry so much guilt sometimes about how things are - but I also am just done trying. 

I feel really bad when BS gets all excited about SS coming so he has someone to play with and then by Saturday noon he is hiding in his bedroom because he needs time out from SS. I don't think he understands what happens because these issues don't come up when he plays with any other kids. I don't know exactly how to explain it too him. 

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 04/30/2018 - 9:38am

There is nothing wrong with you.

Different situations and different personalities will result in different dynamics.

In my situation, it wasn't my SD that was the problem (she was pretty well behaved and respectful) but her mother, who is a psycho bitch. Had she been normal, we could have been one of those happy step families.

Some people just get lucky. The exes are sane, the kids are not behaviorally challenged, the parents actually parent. Wouldn't that be nice?

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Tue, 05/01/2018 - 4:48am

lol...I basically have that situation and I can still barely stand my skids. 

Of course, I have a lot of resentment because I've been financially contributing to them for years while being unable to have my own children...so there's that. I think if that hadn't been the case I wouldn't feel so disgusted by them. 

amyburemt's picture

Submitted by amyburemt on Mon, 04/30/2018 - 11:32am

Ive been married to dh for 6 years now and have known sd's for 8 years. They are both teenagers and i have 2 bio teens myself. My sd17 has been a nightmare. Her mom has been an ultra nightmare. I believe as steps we go into the relationship with the best intentions. No one says "hey i don't want my family to blend". We have this hope that with our love, kindness and nurturing we can help these kids. My family has been on such a roller coaster ride with sd this past 8 years that we have literally dropped the words "blended family" from our vocabulary. At this point we are just trying to survive until she moves back to bm's house. I have never had experience with someone so completely hateful and how do you , as an adult, stand up to a bullying 17 year old? I can say the words all day long, but she still bully's. My dh finally told her he's had enough and that she is the one who chooses wether she's nice or mean. needless to say she is just like bm. She's been to every  counselor known to man, but until she actually wants to utilize what they teach her, it doesn't matter. She's an extreme negative attention getter as well as a bully and that combination is so difficult to deal with. She says she wants a job where she never has to deal with people. I think she needs a huge reality check. I'm pretty sure at some point one of the other kids in the house will end up in a fistfight with her as they are sick of her behavior as well.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Mon, 04/30/2018 - 2:25pm

I pity the other kids in your household for having to grow up with your SD. That's so unfair to them.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Mon, 04/30/2018 - 12:47pm

I went there once, I commented once “Ignore the Whore” and it was flagged and removed. *pardon*

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

Submitted by dysfunctionally... on Mon, 04/30/2018 - 1:23pm

I didn't visit the link - I can just imagine and do not want to get annoyed. 

But I think many factors have to take place in order for a 'blended' family to run smoothly without complaint. Meaning, everytone involved needs to be sane. No crazy HCBM or HCBD, disney dad/mom, normal kids, etc. When you factor in even just one of those things not being the case, you get this forum here. Reality. 

It isn't easy smashing a bunch of unrelated people into a home. Add in chaos and crazy and it's a recipe for disaster. 

OR, as the others have said, that link is a bunch of people LYING LOL!

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 04/30/2018 - 2:32pm

Don't think they are being abused or that anything is wrong.