Question for teacher or anyone else. Does this sound weird?
Forums:
My BF gets visitation visits and full access to school meetings/reports per court order. BM his ex has full custody of their child. Last week SS got in a fight with another kid during gym class. The gym teacher who is a male Emailed my BF about the fight. My BF immediately noticed BM was not on the email and it was just addressed to my BF. In the past ALL emails have either gone to just BM or both parents. I was thinking the gym teacher emailed BM first and she did not want to deal with SS so told the gym teacher to tell BF about it. Would the teacher do that? It’s just weird BM who has full custody would not be addressed on the email. Thoughts anyone?
I am not a teacher.
BM will have to deal with it whether she wants to or not.
I believe separate email notifications is appropriate. Especially with divorced families.
Hopefully everyone is ok.
Probably just an error.
Probably just an error.
OR, SS asked him to email DH instead of BM.
The gym teacher teaches a
The gym teacher teaches a school full of children. When you teach a couple of hundred children a week, you may forget which children need two emails. It could be as simple as that.
Or teacher could have put in one email and hit send, and then remembered and sent another email to the other parent.
BF could talk to the teacher and see if BM was notified too. If not, BF can remind the teacher that both parents should be copied on all emails.
Or easy enough OP's DH can
Or easy enough OP's DH can just forward the email from the gym teacher to BM so they all have it.
I think you're looking too
I think you're looking too much into it. I'd guess DHs email was listed first for SS or something. The gym teacher probably doesnt know anything about his family.
As a school employee, it is
As a school employee, it is the norm for us to e-mail parents separately if they are divorced. We would normally include though something like "I have also notified _____'s mother"
In my case I would look at
In my case I would look at the kids information sheet and see who has completed their contact information. I usually run by an admin if they know of any kind of "household" specifics that I need to be aware of before I make the call or email the parent. For some parents I email mom, for some I email dad. It is not the teacher's job to email both. It is the parents job to communicate education issues among each other freely; however, we will answer questions and meet and do whatever the custody order allows at the parent's request. I will say I work in higher education and the amount of children living in split households or our of both parents home is about 1/3 of the 90 kids I teach each semester.
Wow thanks for all the Answers
Now to clear up what people asked
it is the “normal” for our school to send ONE email and copy both Parents. Some schools my send Separate but ours never have. It could not have been sent blind copied to BM as the gym teacher just addressed BF by saying Dear MR Morgan there was no MS. The emails in the past were addressed Ms and Mr Morgan and there is no hiding of the email addresses by any teacher. BM has full custody so that makes it even weirder that just BF would get the email. Like I said I’m thinking they contacted BM first and she told them to forward it to BF so he would have to talk to SS about it. BM likes to play the Disney mom as she is always trying to be the favorite parent. Don’t know maybe it’s nothing except the fact they thought contacting the dad regarding a issue that happened in gym would make more sense but one would think they would cc BM too just so she would know
You know, your Dh could
You know, your Dh could simply ask when he responds to the PE teacher.
Nothing wrong in saying something along the lines of 'thank-you for contacting me about the incident in PE class blah blah blah, I'll be certain to address this with my son, blah blah, I would like to know if Jr's mother was also contacted about the incident so she may also address this with Jr blah"
This way Dad will learn if his son tried to get the teacher to deliberately not email his mother (DisneyMom may get actually angry at her little munchkin and/or cancel their next fun activity). That would need addressed with Jr too. Hiding misbehavior at school from one parent is sign of a up and coming little sneak.
Is this weekend Dad's weekend to have his son? If so , regardless of whether BM is trying to forward emails to dodge having to deal with her son (chance making herself look mean to Jr), this is also than an opportunity for Dad to actually hand out a real consequence to his son rather than a mere 'talking to'. Fighting in school can cause suspension or even expelling the kid.... the kid needs to know this is totally unacceptable behavior (even if Mommy is a wimp and afraid to discipline).
Before having to take care of
Before having to take care of my oldest child full time at home, I was a middle school teacher. I will tell you there are SO many parents that have SO many different requests in terms of who can and can't be contacted. There's email lists where it's just biological mom, others where it's both mom and dad, others where it's just dad and step mom, others where it's a grand parent, others where there are DO NOT CONTACT requests. When you teach hundreds of kids (as most specials, like PE, teachers do) you absolutely can't keep all of it straight. And sometimes, teachers aren't even made aware of changes to contact information if the office doesn't tell them.
So, there could be plenty of reasons why BM wasn't included- I'll also tell you, and I even was guilty of this a couple times, if it was the end of the day and the PE teacher was trying to get home, they may have just taken the first email on the contact list just to get some sort of correspondence sent to a parent of the child. I don't think it was probably out of intent to leave BM out. The protocol, at least at my school, was to send the same email to everyone who was to be contacted- that way everyone is aware of what is being said and who was contacted. There was no reason for different information to be going out to different parties, anyway. The only stickler with this is you had to scroll through the students' whole profile to the bottom of the page and then look up any notes that say "do not contact this person" or "contact so and so," etc. Such a pain! But sadly enough almost all of the students had some sort of difficult contact situation like this.
It must be hard for teachers
It must be hard for teachers to keep track of all those parents and their relationships. I would chalk this up to that more than anything else. I think for American teachers, it's all about covering their a**** in the current climate. The gym teacher was probably just trying to make sure he put it out there and assumes the rest is up to the parents.
I would not put much thought
I would not put much thought into this. BF was notified. That is a good thing. The possible motivators for the teacher to email BF directly really don't matter.
IMHO of course.