Question about young teens and school
SS13 is "average Intelligence" but has always had problems with school work. SS also has ADHD.
Both BM and DH are above average Intelligence with college Degrees. SS13 has ALWAYS had a IEP in school since first grade. Both BM and DH are totally devoted( almost to much IMO) in helping SS with school.
Now yes SS has ADHD BUT I feel it's more SS is lazy and use to just doing things he wants(spoiled rotten brat). Now it's not so much SS does not understand the school work as SS just does not want to do it. SS refuses to study for tests and HW is a struggle every night just to get him to start it. The school gives SS HW detention after school but SS just sits there pissed off refusing to do and HW. SS just does not care.
Last year SS barely passed and DH is worried SS is going to fall more and more behind.
Now DH wants to give SS a reward of $$$ when he does well in school. This will work as SS is very Motivated by $$$. I don't know how I feel about this. Paying SS something that he should just be doing anyways. My worry is if DH starts paying SS to do his HW/study do well in school then SS will expect it all through high school. Thoughts on this??? Do parents ever reward kids with money for doing well in school?
Pay for performance is a
Pay for performance is a great tool for driving performance improvement... in some situations.
Grades impacting allowance makes sense to me. Tie the amount of allowance for the next grade period to the academic performance of the most recent completed term. However, there needs to also be a notable consequence beyond financial impact for sub par performance... for kids who are capable of performing adequately.
When I was young As and Bs added to my allowance. Cs got nothing, Ds or Fs got swats.
My financial condition and seating comfort were entirely within my control as they related to my grades during that period. That was in the 4th grade-ish period.
SD10 is in 5th grade and
SD10 is in 5th grade and could care less about school. She has a 504 plan and also ADHD. Her mom won't give her meds, which definitely doesn't help. But she is also incredibly lazy. Zero desire to turn in quality work. Hates learning. Worries more about video games. She has been tested for a learning disability and didn't qualify (yes, her grades were that bad that we thought something else might be going on.) Her AND BM are totally okay with mediocrity. She has no interest in college and says she wants to be a "tattoo artist." BM is covered and has a full sleeve. I honestly just thinks she wants to be like BM. She will probably end up having odd jobs here and there, but I honestly don't see her pursuing a career. It's her life, and she will have to make those decisions when she gets older. I also believe you can't care about something if that person doesn't at all. Just hoping she launches at 18 and moves out. We don't want her living in our basement.
Worked for me!
I was paid for my grades. My children (and SKs) are paid for their grades. They were told that this is their job. It is their job to get up, go to school, study and do well. Those who do very well earn well. Those who do not have an unpleasant life. My grades earned me money and screen time. Each semester at report card time my A's and B's were totalled up and (as with Rags) they earned me money and screen time. If I didn't get As and Bs (I was capable) I obviously needed more time in the books and less time on screens or shopping. C's got me nothing. D's or lower got me grief!
As an added incentive, straight As earned me a bonus! My kids were all very motivated. Each of them got that straight A bonus at least once!
I see no harm in paying kids to go to "work" and excel. Especially if he's financially motivated!
We also had a reward system..
We also had a reward system.. but if we did get a bad mark.. it subtracted from the good mark effort... plus got us the "we are disappointed in you" treatment.
I do not pay our son for his
I do not pay our son for his grades. It did not work with him at all. He is not motivated by money so we did video game time and allowed to play sports.
I was paid in elementary school for my grades and I got straight A's all the time. If money motivates him than do it. Put a different look on it. We as adults get paid for doing a job. SS's job is being a student. If we succeed at our job and do well we get promotions and more money. Same concept when you really look at it.
My exH and I pay our kids for
My exH and I pay our kids for grades. School is their job. I get paid for my job, they get paid for theirs. $20 for A's $10 for B's. We don't pay below that... mostly because they have never made less than that on a report card.
Here is the problem with this...
SS13 is spoiled. I mean REALLY spoiled. If DH offered SS $20 for A's SS would laugh in his face. $20 for ONE project MAYBE but not for a whole Semester per grade. You won't get SS's interest intill you start talking hundreds. This kid has no value of money as everything is handed to him.
If someone offered you 20
If someone offered you 20 dollars for months of work (in a semester).. I think you would laugh in their face too..haha.
I like the idea of somehow tying it to their ongoing "allowance" With a "semester bonus" that comes with grade distribution.
It will depend on what your DH can and wants to afford.. but an example might be.
Base Allowance is 20/week.
For a GPA between 3.5 and 4.0 (plus I know AP classes get you extra).. he gets an additional 10 dollars a week to his allowance
For GPA between 3.0 and 4.0 he gets an additional 5/week for his allowance.
The rule would be that he could get no more than one "c" on that report card.
He loses 5/week for every D and he loses his entire allowance for any F's.
At the time of report card he could get a bonus per grade as well if all classes are C or above.
50 -A
25 = B
I would weigh up the cost of
I would weigh up the cost of paying the child with the cost of an adhd coach to help him (and his parents) develop some good strategies that will help him. If you are talking about incentivising him with a lot of money, paying for more professional help outside of school might be a better use of the money that could have more long term results.