pre-vacation rant
How do you know you have a serious case of a guilty daddy BF? ...when listening to his kid whine at home in the cold and dreary March is better than the beach with his girl. I just want to get this off my chest before I get to work for the day....I have been working 12 hours per day to get stuff done so BF and I can go on vacation. He leaves work at 4, saying he is going to go home early and get ready for the trip. Finally, we are going away, far far away without annoying skid12. I can't wait, and BF said he is excited too. I thought he was genuine. He has said all week that he doesn't want me to stress about work. He wants to pack leisurely, have a relaxing dinner before we go, etc. So, I get home last night and ask BF what he had done with his evening. This guilty daddy spent the night watching a movie with his kid and chatting about books? Really? I get home at 11pm and I am supposed to get ready for this trip alone because he is coddling the little brat? Hello, the kid never comes out of his room (video game land). Obviously, he knows dad needs to pack and get ready, and he jealous that he isn't going, so he is going to make sure dad spends the night entertaining him instead. Dad can't even see it. A normal dad would say nicely, "I would like to watch movies with you, but I have a lot to do tonight so we will watch movies when I get back." Not this guilty daddy. That kid makes a demand and the world stops. So tonight, I will work again until 11pm, come home and do laundry, get out the suitcases, water plants, set up timers, etc. so that guilty daddy can spend the night with the kid...maybe board games tonight. All I want is to enjoy a 5 day vacation with my guy, and my guy doesn't give a crap about anything but skid. I guess he should be going on vacation with skid instead. I will be sure that next time they are planning a father/son getaway, that I will interupt thier packing and planning with my demands for a candlelight dinner, backrub and romantic movie night. Will I get it? Hell no. I will get "come on, get out of the way, kid and I have stuff to do." What is backwards in this picture?
While you are on vacation
While you are on vacation will he think about his son all the time or will he relax and have a great time with you - I would tell him either he gets his shit packed for the trip or he can stay the hell home - he may also just be lazy and not want to pack or do anything to help get ready for the trip it may not be so much that he loves his son so much as you think as he is just lazy - I would make him do all of his stuff and if he is not ready you get on that plane and let him worry about himself - from the sounds of it you might have a better time without him - also one last question will he call SS while you are away???
Hi caregiver,I think he is
Hi caregiver,I think he is getting a little better with time as far as obsessing over his son on vacation. He is only with him EOW anyway now, so even though we are on vacation, its not like he would be with us if we were in town. We used to have this horrific EOD schedule, and my BF was very clingy with kid then. We went on vacation when on the EOD schedule, and I swear, BF spent half the time talking pictures to email back to kid or emailing him little lovey dovey notes. I finally said that if he wanted to be with the kid, take him, but if he was on vacation with me, enough already. Of course that didn't work, and he said if an email made his kid happy then he was going to email dammit. I get a little P.Od at the kid too. He knows we are on vacation, and he doesn't give us the time of day when he is with us, but the moment we are on vacation, he needs to hear from his daddy every 2 minutes. He is 12, and I think he needs a little talking to about respecting other people's time and space. The ultimate problem of course is BF, who thinks it is some type of child abuse to tell your kid that you are busy with adult things and that he needs to find his own entertainment for awhile. Will he call his kid? Probably, but not while I am around. Same with texting. We were out of town for 3 days recently. I didn't see bf text once and I was really proud of him for cutting his apron strings...thought one of them might actually be reaching puberty, ha. Then I get the phone bill and there are about 10 texts per day to the kid. It is kind of freaky. He must text while I am in the bathroom. Sometimes I feel like the kid is the other woman he is sneaking around with. Twisted. And yes, I agree, he can pack his own crap and be up until midnight if he has too. The best part of vacation will be 1. KID WONT BE THERE 2. Beach, sun and everything else.