ok let me start from the beginning...I got pregnant at 18..did not marry the father..married and had my youngest child 5 years later..divorced when my youngest was 2..i had a 2 yr relationship with someone i thought i couldnt live without..ends up he and my sister had a heated arguement july 2011 and he murdered her right in front of me..i will never get over what i seen that day or losing my sister but i am trying to get on with my life the best i can..i met a man december 2011 and we became very good friends..he has become the one i can always confide in..i love him dearly..we got engaged april 2012..he has a 5yr old daughter who will not listen to me..i have never dated or been married to someone who already had kids..the childs mother NEVER wants to have her on her time..my fiance lives with me but when he has his daughter she stays with his mom at night and he brings her here to my house anytime he's off work and when he gets off work until its time to take her back to his mom's to get ready for bed..he keeps making comments about how his child needs to stay with him at night..i completely understand that but this is still my house..i do not have any room in my house to add another child to our living arrangements..he also makes comments about after we get married that he will not make his xwife keep their child on her time if she doesnt want her..my kids are 9 and 14 and i dont think i should have to tend to a 5 yr old ALL the time while my husband is at work (7 days a week)and when my own kids spend time with their fathers' or spend the night off with friends..i do have alot of issues dealing with what happened to my sister and i have more bad days than good..i dont see why he would expect me to tend to his child 24/7 but wont even discuss his xwife having the child..i want to marry him but i dont want to feel like he's only marrying me so i can raise his child so he can work and his xwife can lay on her ass allday doing nothing!!! PLEASE HELP !!!