Not one penny of my money to the ftards. Ever.

My partner and I live together but are not married.

We pool our money by choice and it benifits both of us. Today I was broke while he had about 50 from helping out a buddy. I asked for money to fill my gas tank and he gave it without question. In turn next week I may do the same.

When it comes to the kids we pretty much agree on what needs bought. If anything I'm the one who says we should get extra this or that. So basicly I am ok with what is considered my money being spent on them. If it becomes an issue we can split our finances with easy. We have our own bank accounts and no joint debt so we can easily split the bills.

Before he moved in I bought things as I wished. He NEVER made me feel I had to and it was completely my choice. I never spent more than I was comfortable losing if he left me tomorrow.

Basicly I choose to pool my money with him and that means helping to support his kids. I still have my own 401K and my bills come first to me. What's left over is play money and I'm ok with how we spend it. He works also and picks up odd jobs so I feel he does his fair share to support our home.

We have already spoken with his current lawyer about a simple prenup before we get married. It will protect my 401K as well as my truck since we currently rent our home. Until the kids are no longer minors we have agreed to have no joint accounts or property. IF we decided to buy a home it will be in my name with him paying "rent" but we are years from that point.

I might add that this works because we agree. We talk ALOT and have plans in place if anything goes wrong.

We have seperate bank accounts because I'm not comfortable totally combining our accounts... simply because it seems like it would be a hassle IF things ever went wrong. I don't mean to be pessimistic as I love my husband and I'm happy with our marriage, but I've seen far too many people divorce and have to struggle because of it.

Although we have seperate bank accounts, we fully share everything money-wise. I earn about 70% of our combined income but we honestly never look at it that way because we just take from whoever's bank account has funds in it at the time. It's never mine or his.

I don't mind that i'm paying for my stepdaughter because we have a pretty good relationship and my husband doesn't spoil her or anything. He's used to living off his own paycheque so he's pretty grateful to be able to better provide for her because of my income being added to his.

Depends on the stage of life and whether you have bios with current DH.
If you are not planning to produce children with him, then I cannot see combining finances at all other than maintaining a joint account for household expenses that cannot be used for any purpose other than that. If one spouse has skids who use up a lot of groceries, then that parent needs to increase his/her % contribution to the joint account.

All other funds that you own should be saved for your future, with or without DH, simply based on the established fact that you then protect them from being foolishly spent.

There also needs to be close cooperation on retirement planning...that is, both spouses understand what the goal is, and do not spend recklessly while the other is saving. You don't want to be supporting Disney party boy when he's 65 and broke.

If a spouse pushes back on this then you have to assume they are expecting you to help carry their baggage. They produced the skids, they pay for them. If they try to equate the whole thing with love and trust, then see it for the gaslighting it is. I have counselled a lot of retirement clients over yhe years, and seen some sad cases of people being used, and they inevitably reach a crisis at retirement age. Not something anyone wants to experience. Take care of yourself.

It can be a very contentious issue. We both earn, and have a joint account for bills but both have our individual accounts for extras. My kids are adults and both earning, but I am generous with what I spend on my grandsons (not over generous, my daughter wouldn't allow that) and I help my son out with his driving finances from time to time. However, my DH gives OSD money every month, and is what I term indulgent (over generous) with all his kids, he gives them money on birthdays, Christmas, and spending money when they go on holiday. This is on top of other gifts. He is equally over indulgent with his grandkids.
I no longer ask or am interested in what he does with his kids- I have my money and he has his. I once bought a gift for my OSD when I first met her, and was told that she doesn't have time to take a bath (I bought her some bath treats) and after that I never bought any of them anything. I got the message.

DH and I have a joint savings account and then separate savings and checking. We each have our own bills we pay, and we each have the same amount of money going into savings each month. We sit down every two weeks to pay bills and review our finances. I keep a spreadsheet of how much should be in each account.

We are mostly on the same page when it comes to spending on the stepkids. I will spend my own money on them, but if there is an expense I don't agree with, I tell DH that I'm not helping and it will come out of his play money or savings.

Really, though, this tends to be a non-issue for us. We both got burned in our last marriages financially, so we are both VERY conscientious about spending and saving. For the first time in my adult life, I have a partner who is financially better of than I am, so DH is helping me pay down my car and student loans so that I can put away more retirement money and he can save more for the boys' college.

In the end, though, I think it's awash for us both. The less I have to spend, the more he has to pick up the slack. The more he spends, the less we have for the household for things we want or need to do. The biweekly check-ins keep us honest.

My DH and I have a joint account together we call it the "household" account and then I have a separate account where I put money into to save or spend on myself it is my own personal account and DH has his own personal account as well. As far as spending money on the skids DH always discusses things like this with me before hand so it works out for us so far.

DH gives me cash each week, and I handle all the household expenses. I handled them all before, and since I'm familiar with my budget, DH trusts it all to me to handle.

For us, household expenses don't include personal needs such as toys, clothes, activities... we each pay those when it's a need, and we've shared the cost when it's been gifts. We never had to discuss it - it was just always that way.

We have some joint money - savings we've both equally contributed to.... but we don't use that money on kids/skids at all - it's for US. I have my own savings, and he has his... though his is not much, since he overspends on SS. He's much better now than he was, though... lol

My DH and I have a joint account for our household bills, and his paycheck. And I have a separate account for myself and my extra income. The reason I do this is because DH will not think twice about spending my money on the SS's without asking. For years, anytime BM would hold her hand out for 1/2 the costs of "extras" he would pay it without even considering what we had in our budget or what other bills we had. So I only contribute my share of the bills to our joint account. I make considerably more than DH does so I do pay a bigger portion of the bills. But I keep back an amount that I feel is fair.

He doesn't really care about me having my own, especially considering I typically use it for home improvements (house is in my name only)

DH has since gotten much better about telling BM and the SS's no, mainly because he doesn't have the extra income to hand out. But he is trying to stand up to them more often. I will keep our finances exactly how they are.

No - you do not have to pay for anything for skids, they are not your responsibility and have 2 parents already.

Separate finances and keep yours for you only... you can only trf a certain portion to DH/ a joint account for house hold expenses,,, and DH is not allowed to take from house hold expenses to entertain his children

I guess it depends upon whether you are talking about a road trip and who pays when we stopped at MCD's or who pays for extracurricular sports equipment and fees..

My DH and I have a joint acct where we pay joint bills. Also have separate accounts for our own needs. Generally, he paid for specific needs and wants of his kids from his money.

However, that didn't mean that I didn't pick up the tab for meals and such for his kids on occasion. It also meant that I would sometimes pick up some clothing or shoes for his girls if I was out shopping and saw something I thought one of them would like... or if I knew they had a need and it was a good deal.

I think it's fine for a Step parent to buy things for the kids as long as it is a choice and not some mandate to pay for things out of a joint account. I think with minor kids, that there should be some general separation of finances so that part is clear.

It depends on how much your partner is shelling out on them, we have combined money but my dh doesn't do any extravagant spending, so the most that gets spent on sd (other than cs) is school shoes or clothes and whatnot. Nothing huge. But if your SO is blowing money right and left and you can't pay the electric bill I would suggest separate accounts.

OP You are not legally nor morally obligated to pay for OR gift anything to anyone else's child.

Do you buy things for your nieces, nephews or cousins kids? By all means if you have the financial means to support them you must remember it is a gift. Gifts should be given freely with no expectations other than a proper thank you note.

It depends as others have said, on your partner, on the skids, on your comfort level.

Personally, my SDs have two stable parents who can dually support them.

I have zero responsibility or authority for what gets bought for them or how/if it's used, so even though I did before, I'm fully out now. Basically it culminated in my paying for their insurance, DH not paying me back regularly, BM not wanting to pay me back saying "it was my duty to do it" (after which I told DH they were coming off upon my open enrollment period since her $70 per month on my plan wasn't good enough and she apparently wanted to pay a couple hundred...and DH now gets to split the higher cost). Things going missing, items not treated with respect, little thanks, and I'm out.

I only pay for a larger house I don't need and utilities I don't use. That's my contribution - basic living items and basic food items. Anything else DH has to cover.

We have a 'house account' for our joint home expenses and everything else is separate.

DH use to go into debt for skid extras. He asked to borrow money from me once and it didn't go over well. I told him we were done if he couldn't get his finances under control. I had 2 kids at the time already and I would be damned if I was going to support a man child and his bratty spawn. After he failed out of school I also gave him an ultimatum on finding a decent job. I'll be damned if I am working my butt off to make six figures and he is fine with $10/hr. DH found a decent paying job with great retirement with my help. I still make the majority of the household income so nothing extra is spent on PASd skids now. They burned that bridge with DH by hanging up on him and only speaking to him when they had present demands......err....Christmas and birthday lists. Treat people like crap and you get nothing. DH only recently has extra money and that is only because I paid his truck off. So no, my money doesn't go to skids.

Skids are grown and I am disengaged but since we have lived together/been married I haven't paid for anything for the skids.

I pay for my own BS. DH will occasionally pay for something for him/us as a family. DH does have a much different relationship with my BS though then what I do with his kids.

I always thank DH for everything he does for BS and so does BS. We both appreciate it. However when I was doing for the skids I know the skids didn't appreciate it and I don't feel like DH appreciated it either.

I don't understand why any stepparent would pay extra for their skids or buy them stuff when they have two parents and four grandparents to do it. DH pays plenty in CS, so there's no way on God's green earth would I pay for anything other than a cheapish (under $25) gift for birthday and Christmas and the occasional picking up of the check at somewhere inexpensive. I understand if you're combining finances and share a house together that technically, you are paying for the skids in that way, but for extras, no way. The majority of skids will not appreciate it, nor will it engender any sort of positive feelings toward you if there aren't any to begin with. SS has mommy and both sets of grandparents to buy him the latest and greatest video game crap and new phones, etc. SS doesn't appreciate or even remember what I've bought him (because it's not fancy enough). Plus my DH and I don't believe in spending a ton of money on kids in general anyway.

i used to buy the skids gifts all the time. even as they grew into adults i would buy them something i knew they would like.

after being treated poorly in their adults years i have backed off the gifts all the way. i last bought a kitchen appliance for one sd and she called me like it was the oddest thing in the world that i would buy her a gift. she thanked me but but thought it was odd. she could not grasp the concept of kindness. clearly gift giving in not in her family.

no more. i now spend the money on myself.

I pay for everything concerning my kids (dh's skids). There are times he'll contribute if he wants to, birthdays, xmas, etc but for daily costs including school, food and activities it's all on me. We have a joint *us* acct but I have a separate acct for all costs kid related.