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To Pay or Not to Pay?

ej'scrazy's picture

According to the CO, DH and BM have joint decision making. They are required to be in an agreement when it comes to non-urgent medical treatment. This includes mental health care.

This is the second time that BM has made a decision about a therapist (who happens to not be covered by the current insurance plan) without consulting DH. She mentioned something in passing, and said she would get DH the information so that 'they' could make a decision. Find out from skid that BM has already taken them to see said therapist. It's only a matter of time before DH is told he is going to have to split the bill.

So, is he required to pay it when it was not discussed nor was he consulted? FYI, no idea how much it is going to cost, since she is not included on the health care plan.

PolyMom's picture

In our state, it is against the law for any therapist to see a child beyond an initial consult without getting legal consent from both parents. You may want to look into this.

simifan's picture

Check - many states don't consider mental health as necessary & therefore enforceable. BM not only agreed but demanded & then didn't pay her half. Nothing we could do.

SAHsigh's picture

We have/are dealing with this. BM signed SS5 (then 4) up for a therapist without my partner's approval and then we found out it wasn't covered by insurance. She yanked him out once she had him there for 4 or 5 visits.

Unfortunately, we're going to court again for custody and this is one of the things on the list... Good luck but I don't think "not paying" is really an option. I suspect you'll need to be more proactive... Maybe contact the office directly?

ej'scrazy's picture

We have. She 'accidentally' left dh off the paperwork, so they won't give any information. He's sent the CO, but they are still refusing to share information, as he isn't on the insurance (which they can't use) so--we are at a stand still!

ej'scrazy's picture

The simple answer, she (bm) has issues and because there's no adult in her life, she chooses to dump her problems on them. For example, she was going to lose her job due to downsizing, & the older sd was stressed about how they were going to pay the rent or for the car. This is one of 100s of reasons--adult issues on kids aren't supposed to be there.

StepKat's picture

Get the court involved. She took the child to the therapist without DH’s agreement. This goes against the CO and she can have her ass handed to her by a judge. Also you can sue the therapist for not getting the permission of BOTH parents.

SMof2Girls's picture

Has your DH filed the motion with court to hold her in violation of the agreement yet? As part of that hearing, I would request the judge hold DH non-accountable for any fees associated with any visits he did not consent to.

ej'scrazy's picture

Dh has contacted his attorney, but he needs a new one. He's old and slow. Experience hasn't given him the upper hand. He's not a bulldog at all.