Parent issue...need advise
My son has a buddy who is 14 "T". My son is 16. The friend lives a couple blocks from us. Nice kid, always polite when he is here.
Anyway here's my trouble. While driving my son and another buddy to meet friends, my son tells me this kid "T" is on the run and has been for 5 days. I asked if the boys if they knew why and my son's friend says cause his parents beat him. T's skateboard was in my entryway last night and when I questioned my son about who it belonged to he said T and that he may come over later to hang out. It was about 10pm. I came down later to get a drink and noticed the skateboard was gone. I figured T stopped to get it and went home. When I got up this morning the porch light was on and the front door was unlocked and there were fresh foot prints in the snow on our sidewalk.
I found out this evening that T was hiding in my son's closet and slept on my son's floor last night but left early this morning. I told my son I would have let T sleep over if he would have come to me and told me he was over. I just want to know who is in my house in case of an emergency. I am very worried about this kid. I told the boys to put the word out if anyone sees T to tell him to come here. I want to talk to him and get the story from him. As far as I know, he is not a bad kid - has a mohawk, piercing and dresses like a punk but so did I at that age mohawk and all.
I want to help this young man. I let my son know that his friends as welcome in our home I just need to know what is going on and who is here. One of my son's friends step-father is a drunk and this kid hangs at our house alot on the weekends to get away from him.
What should I do about T? Wait and see? Hope for the best?
You did what you could for the moment.
It's up to your son to pass the word on to his friend and hopefully the boy will come to you. If the boy trusts you, he will come and you can figure something out then.
I too have a daughter that is friends with another girl who comes from a home that is not the best. I take this girl with me anywhere I can, I love her like one of my own and actually she calls me mom. Her mom left her & a brother when they were just little and dad has been doing his best to raise them ever since. He lives with a woman that treats the kids like dirt....there are a lot of arguments in their home about how the kids are treated by her (SM). My adopted daughter and her dad both know that she is welcome anytime of the day or night if needed. Just open your home to him and things will work out the way they are supposed too. You are a good mom!
Corie
new info
I talked to my son again and he said T is going to school so thats good. My son thinks T is at another friends house tonight. I had my son send a text to all his friends who know T telling them to have T come here if they see him. My son has seen bruises on this boys back. So, as a mom, I am worried. I am relieved that he has a place to stay tonight. It is still cold here at night and there is still some snow on the ground so I would not want him out in the cold.
Teens these days do not dress for the weather wearing hoodies when its below zero and snowing with no gloves or hats.
Might not be what you think
Beware on this one. It might not be what you think. The bruises may not be from his parents. Or there may not be bruises at all - might be a story to get sympathy. Have you considered calling T's parents? You might be surprised by what you hear. They might tell you that they have tried to get him to come home but he resists - maybe they are pushing rehab for a drug problem, maybe trying to get him badly needed mental health help, who knows. These are just two examples of things that people resist even though they need them very badly.
So watch out. I have tried to help young people like this at times - all I got was robbed.
dont think so
Pretty sure he is not into drugs or has a mental health issue. The boys are pretty open about this kind of stuff to me and they ask questions of me that they cannot or won't ask their own parents. I do know T's parents have called one of his friends several times yesterday and today and left nasty messages on this kids parents answering machine. I think if this kid had mental health or drug problems his parents would be nicer when leaving messages looking for their child. I, for one, would not leave nasty, verbally harassing messages if I was looking for my kid. I do not know T's parents and don't know where he lives. I only know he lives within walking distance of our house. I also do not think T showed the other boys his bruises for sympathy. I have not seen any but have never looked.
I hope he is just a normal teenage boy bucking his parents authority like a lot of teens do these days.