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Mum2twogirlz's picture

Submitted by Mum2twogirlz on Thu, 03/07/2024 - 4:50am

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General Discussion

We've got a 2 month old, a 2 yr old and dh has a 5 yr old, we want another baby. It's always been our dream to have a big family. I've taken an ovulation test strip this morning and it's positive, how long to wait until a pregnancy test? 3 weeks? A month? Really unsure this is the first time we've activlytried 

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 03/07/2024 - 6:36am

TBH... with the issues you have been having with your Skid.. I'm not sure that this would really be the best time to "try"..   I mean...I know you "want" a big family.. but your DH already has three children.. and he needs to ensure he is fully in ALL THREE of those children's lives.. and you are already struggling mightily with his child.

It is never going to be "ok" for you to try to minimize his relationship with that other minor child.. so will that mean your SO has to be absent from your house if you end up refusing his child in your home?  These are real issues you need to look forward and consider.

I mean.. if you are already PG.. you will have to figure it out.. but if not.. why not see how the integration in your home goes more before bringing another child into the mix?

Finally.. if you are already PG.. it will definitely be time to sort out housing that will accomodate all Four kids better.. because the current situation with the other two sharing a room is not really working well for you.  And.. you have three kids and one bedroom that is for kids.. so you are already in too small a space for the kids you have.. maybe this will be the push for him to make sure all his kids are safe in his home.

Mum2twogirlz's picture

Submitted by Mum2twogirlz on Thu, 03/07/2024 - 11:11am

I'm not putting my life on hold because bm dosent want to parent when skid is here dh does all he can, we've applied for house today

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 03/07/2024 - 11:13am

You aren't doing it because of BM.. you would be doing it because further burdening yourself with another child when your husband can't fully handle the children he has already made.

When you say applied for a house.. are you buying? renting.. or is this an assistance from the govt (which would reallly be selfish if you are making babies for others to support.. hope that's not the case).

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Thu, 03/07/2024 - 11:51am

Before you and your DH have another child, he needs to figure out how to parent the three that he already has. There seem to be some serious issues with SD5 and bringing another child into the mix is not going to make things any easier. Part of the problem seems to be space, can you afford a house with more bedrooms?
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but it is the reality of your situation. And one thing you need to remember is that there is always the possibility that if something happens to BM, that SD could be with you fulltime.