O/T: What to do when neighborhood kids won't go away...
Just a background: SS9 is here for the summer. We just moved into this neighborhood the beginning of the year so we don't know many people around. SS is pretty social and makes friends easily. He found another kid in the area riding his bike. They have a been hanging out nonstop for a few days now. At first I thought the kid was ok, but he's been pressuring SS into doing stuff he knows he's not supposed to. Nothing too serious, but stuff like riding his bike past the boundaries we have set for him, dragging DD's picnic table behind his bike on the street, etc. He neighborhood kid is here all the time, plays inside our house sometimes too. I just have no patience for that. I feel like if SS was my kid, I would be more into the idea of him having play dates, but with SS, I just feel like I'm made to watch another kid. The kid has no manners. Doesn't say hi or bye or thank you. He walks into my house with his shoes on, even though SS clearly takes his shoes off at the door. Just little things, but it is getting annoying fast. He also refuses to leave when I ask him to go home nicely. He put his foot at the door when SS tried to close it and then just sat outside on our stairs to wait for SS. I'm not sure what to do. This kid's parents are home all day long, but just leave him alone to do whatever he wants. My DD is only 1 so I'm not used to having to deal with neighborhood kids.
What is your experience/advice for things like this?
If I were in this situation I
If I were in this situation I would talk face to face with the parents of the child. It's probably not a very good home life, and the kid probably doesn't want to be home. I'm a firm believer in "my house, my rules" and I don't see a problem with you telling the child what you expect from him, and then giving consequences when you're expectations aren't met. I understand that our world doesn't exactly work that way anymore, but unless you smack him around, I see no reason not to set boundaries for your home.
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Get ahold of his parents and
Get ahold of his parents and tell them what the problems are. If he can't behave according to your rules in your home, then he will no longer be welcome there. SS's time with him will have to be limited if he continues to be a bad influence.
My sister deals with this all the time. She regularly punishes her kids from certain friends because they disrupt their behavior. She literally had a neighborhood kid in her basement throwing water balloons at her TV! That was the wake up call she needed and now she has regular talks with this kids' mom and has no qualms with personally escorting him out the front door.
Yep, I usually just tell them
Yep, I usually just tell them to leave. If they were to sit on my doorstep, I'd tell them to get off my doorstep and go home. If he tried to stick his foot in the door I'd tell him to get out or I will escort him home myself with a discussion with his parents. Then since he is so rude, I'd tell him not to come back.
I have had some creepy neighbor kids hang around before. I've at times just tell them they are not allowed over. Period. the ones I tolerate-I typically make them stay outside for the most part, but if I get tired of them I don't hesitate to tell them to go home.
Yep, I usually just tell them
Yep, I usually just tell them to leave. If they were to sit on my doorstep, I'd tell them to get off my doorstep and go home. If he tried to stick his foot in the door I'd tell him to get out or I will escort him home myself with a discussion with his parents. Then since he is so rude, I'd tell him not to come back.
I have had some creepy neighbor kids hang around before. I've at times just tell them they are not allowed over. Period. the ones I tolerate-I typically make them stay outside for the most part, but if I get tired of them I don't hesitate to tell them to go home.
For heavens sake. Just send
For heavens sake. Just send him home. It really is that simple. You can actually stop,him playing in the house to if you want to, all you have to say is,, okay that's it, outside and play now. If he doesn't like it, you go back to, okay, it's time for you to go home now. You can tell him to remove his shoes, he says no, you say, okay, its time for you to go home now. YOU put him out, you tell him off the step and go home if you want to. You don't have to justify yourself to this child, you don't have to provide him with an excuse or a reason, and you certainly don't have to go running to his parents and making enemies of your new neighbours. They already know their kids naughty. If you send him home for no reason they're not going to come banging on your door demanding to know why. If they did, you'd tell them, if they were aggressive, you'd call the police. But really, I'd just start with no explanations or excuses, just put him out the door and forget it. , Decide what you want and stick to it.