ot but needing help couping with elderly depressed mother
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This is very off topic. Unless you consider that my mom is a step parent 
Has anyone dealt with depression in a parent after loss of spouse? Or know of any forums. I'm about to loose my mind.
Well, my grandmother lost her
Well, my grandmother lost her husband about 6yrs ago (my grandfather), and she still seems off and on depressed. I don't know if she is driving us nuts because she is indeed depressed or because that's just the way she is... :jawdrop:
I wish I could give you info, but I really have not figured out yet how to deal with it. But wanted to let you know I know how tough it is not just on them, but on those around them as well. A big hug to you!
That's a tough one. My
That's a tough one. My father is like that. He can be a very "Oh, woe is me, I'm all alone, I might as well die!" one day, and the next day talking about the next woman he met online. And each "relationship" of course never works out because nobody is like the woman he was with for 50 years, and doesn't understand that nobody will ever be. When I say it takes 50 years to be like that, he says he doesn't have that much time left and thinks he can simply jump into a serious relationship. I don't know which is worse...the depressed, always complaining about some ailment person, or the one who dates 10 different older women at the same time. At least I convinced him to stay away from women 20 years younger than him. (He acts even older than his age much of the time!)
I've tried to get him to go to therapy, but he claims talking to me is the same thing...AAAAHHHH!
My assistant's mother was seriously depressed after she lost her husband, and was like that til the day she died. She was MAD at her husband for dying and leaving her. The man had lung cancer! Anyway, her depression was so bad, she started neglecting her home and her hygiene. It was terrible. When my assistant tried to take her to mental health clinics, she seemed to know how to play the staff and they would never admit her. As soon as their backs were turned, she would look at her daughter and urinate all over herself, as if on purpose.
Anyone currently in 70's and 80's are very difficult to get help for. They are too stubborn to seek therapists. It seems only getting them involved in some sort of social setting distracts them.
Your assistants description
Your assistants description fits more of my mom. Except urinating. She tells us what we want to hear and will sleep all the time she has lost about 40lbs the first year and there is nothing left to loose. I keep asking my stepdad to come down and kick her booty. Some decibel interference would be nice.
I just can't watch helplessly and do nothing. She is not just killing herself but me as well worse yet all kids live away from her by an hour + commute. We can't go everyday and haul her butt out.
12yr, my mom (68) has been
12yr, my mom (68) has been depressed MY WHOLE LIFE, it is incredibly frustrating. She also does the "i'm ok " thing at the Drs, she makes me crazy! Just do what you can, and try and let the rest go. When I got married I realized how much her condition affected me and I kinda stepped back at that point. Now 30 years later-to tell you the truth I almost think she LIKES it. Really sick.