He might feel that because she's an adult, and there's nothing he can do about her behavior. He can't take away privileges or force her to get counseling anymore. I'm not saying it's right, and if I were her mother or father I'd be appalled by her behavior too, but that might be his thought process. He probably feels that he just wants to be in her life. I think if he wants to have a relationship with her, that's fine, but he needs to do so outside of your home and keep you and your son out of it.

Another tip: Don't look at her FB page and make sure she can't access yours or your son's (if he has one). Ignorance is bliss.

My SO does the same thing with two of his children, and yes, I find I'm losing respect for him the more I see it go on. I don't think saying "they are over 18 and there's nothing else I can do" is right. Of course there's something else that can be done, and that's quit condoning these behaviors by ignoring them!

I don't think it is so much the thought process of Oh well she is and adult now I cannot force to do this that or the other. I think it is the same old story - she is his daughter, and he want to keep her in his life, even if that means sitting back and watching her ruin hers. He is not behaving like a father to her,as a father's role is to guide his daugher to teach her right from wrong no matter what the consequenses on him, he is behaving like a friend who has no responsibilities towards her.

He appears to be like my own husband and like so many other husbands I have read about on this site. The Princess daughters can do no wrong. Dad will not step up and be a dad because if he does he will lose daughter. I think this is a purely selfish approach as to me the fathers are just thinking about themselves. My own husband treats his daughter like gold and has nothing to do with his 2 sons. His 2 sons are okay to him, but the daughter well, I won't go into it again, but suffice to say I finally had enough in August and banned her from my home. She is selfish, greedy, manipulating (at 29) she has this little baby girl tone in her voice she uses towards my husband, and at times was openly flirting with him. She wears skin tight clothes, high heel boots, and has the strange way of wearing a pony tail off the side of her head, the whole "Look at me" look. She even turned up one day and the skin tight pants had holes all the way down the leg from the hip to the ankle. Her father who would be the first to talk about someone else's daughter says nothing Now his pricess has had a baby, and is not married it's okay, that's what all the young ones do, Funny that, because before his daughter got pregnant, all these unmarried mothers were in his opinion sluts. I constantly told him seeing as he has a daughter of his own, he might want to be careful talking about other people's daughtrs - his response, Natalie wouldn't do that. Well Natalie has done that and on the bright side he can no longer talk about anyone's daughter in a bad light, but he now deny's he did that anyway, and it is all okay to be unmarried and have babies.

There is only one reason he does this and it is not because he respects her as an adult and allows her to make her own decisions, it is because he is afraid if he so much as says Natlie don't do that, she will never speak to him again, and he would rather watch her self destruct than not talk to her at all. HE IS AFRAID OF HER. She calls the shots, and he allows it. It is lazy and selfish on the part of these father's, these men are looking after themselves at all costs whilst allowing their daughters to get further and further out of control. They never brought their daughters into line when they were little and have no hope in hell of doing it now. I believe they have just taken the easy way out and as fathers are quite irresponsible.

I do not think you are wrong, I think it is in your son's best interest that he have no contact with her for a couple of reasons, one because she seems like someone who you would definately not want your son to be influenced by and if she were not your SD you would have nothing to do with, and secondly, because if this situation continues your son is going to see that daddy favours his sister and that is hurtful and does a lot of damage to kids. I have seen first hand the damage that has done to my husbands sons, they have not grown up to be healthy independant responsible youn men, neither I might add has his daughter, but she has an ego as big as texas the boys however, can't hold their heads up, they are non-existent in their fathers eyes and they know it. The eldest boy got his girlfriend pregnant 13 years ago, and from what I have heard my husband actually hit him. His daughter gets pregnant outside of wedlock and daddy says congratulations. My husband carried a photo of his daughter in his wallet that was all his daughter no grandson, no sons just his daughter. What a lovely message to the spoilt only princess child and to his sons. I think so much of my daughter that she is carried around with me all day, however, not only is there no room in my life for you boys, but there is no room in my wallet for you either. Actually just thinking about that, there probably wasn't enough room in his wallet for them because natalie not only had her head in there but her hand as well.

My dh ignores my ss's bad behavior as well. And he's only 13! I think my dh has just thrown in the towel when it comes to expecting any sort of change from my ss. He's unwilling to hold him to any standards because I believe in his heart he believes ss will not meet them. So It's just easier to stick his head in the sand and pretend that everything is ok. My ss doesnt live with us and in fact is not even visiting currently-as he does not wish to follow rules and doesnt want to visit here-BUT my dh was talking about buying this kid a laptop for xmas. Wow-ok-way to ignore problems and give him a big reward for bad behavior and completing ignoring you!

As far as losing respect-I do get mightily annoyed when my dh says dumb stuff like the above, but since ss is not in our home right now I dont worry about it.

KDD may I just tell you something please. My 29 year old step daughter has two brothers one is 34, the other almost 36. Neither of these boys will stick up for themselves against her. Whenever you ask the boys something this girl speaks for them. When I said no more, she could not come back to my home ever again, she then banned the two brothers from coming her also. Now, that is not a problem for me, I actually would like to send her a thank you gift for that one, but, it is a huge problem for those two men. She bullies them, she constantly makes demands on them, and she makes it absolutely clear she is the favourite, she has in front of them ask her dad for stuff and will say, watch this, dad will give it to me, she says she is nono's favourite, daddy's favourite, and that her fiance will do anything for her (well anything but marry her it seems, they have been together for over 7 years). Anyway back on track, she does this in front of her brothers and completely guts them with a smile on her face.

Basically she uses and abuses her brothers as well as everyone else around her including her 87 year old sick grandfather, and probably worst of all her fiance.

I agree, your so will work it out when he is old enough. You will probably get away with the birthday, but like me I expect trouble at Christmas. My 3 adult children their husbands/wife will be here as will my grandchildren. My husbands will not, as I will not have his daughter here ever again, and she will not allow her brothers to come here now, they have to be on HER side. So, trouble brewing here I am sure. Still, I think this thing needs to blow up maybe Christmas is as good a time as any.

Damned if I can understand how these men can be such fools for their daughters. Everyone in my husband's family can see it yet he thinks the sun shines out of her behind.