OMG I'M F#CKIN PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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this is our 3rd christmas at the house.

the first one, bd and i went to NC with my parents the day after christmas to visit my sister and nieces. bf had to work, and sd was in texas for christmas break.

last year, bf, bd, and i followed my parents up to NC.

i was so sure this year my sister would come down here. but my BIL's orders are to be on duty on christmas day on base, and he never put in for holiday leave. so my parents are once again going the day after until after new years.

they offered for me and bd to ride up with them. they dont want to take sd, and dont feel bf deserves a week without kids, especially since he isnt working right now (lay off the last year). i see their point. plus, sd is a monster.

so i lightly mentioned their offering to bf. leaving out them not wanting sd to go. he says "what and leave me and sd here? not fair is it?" i didnt want to argue with him, i never win. so i told him i declined the offer.

i am so mad cause he doesnt see my point. the last time i went to NC with sd and not bf, it was 6weeks in the summer of pure hell. i wont do it again. and i wont sit in a car for 12-14hrs with sd.

i feel so trapped. god why am i so stupid??????!!!!?????

WHy dont you tell your

WHy dont you tell your parents you go after christmas with bd for new years....So tell your bf that you'll have family time with all of you guys for christmas but for new years you'll be with your parents and bd. He and his daughter can have some alone time too. Its a shared holiday.
Xmas with bfsd and new years alone with your parents and bd.

So over here at my parents

So over here at my parents invited me, my husband, my 2 bd's and his evil son to new years vacation- time share.. LONG story shot, my Dh has said he can't get the time off (BULLSHIT) so me and the 'girls' should just go without him and SS16. He says it would be easier if SS didnt go anyway. I so briefly seemed sad, I will miss the fact my husband wont be there, but let me say.. I NEED A BREAK from this shit here. the girls and I will have an awesome time, I do wish dh could come, but if it means that SS16 come too, i'll pass. I also have the itsy bitsy problem that my parents would probably bury SS 16 in a snow bank- they don't have any respect for him anymore.
GO< HAVE FUN< !!! Your probably deserve it too and so dous yr daughter!

EBSM? Why don't you go???

EBSM? Why don't you go??? And to his question... "What, and leave me and SD here?"... The answer to that would be "ummmm YEAH!!!"

You need a break. He could use a break. He could use some time alone with his daughter and YOU could use some time with your family.

It's a freakin' week and it's the day after Christmas. So, you get to spend the holiday with your BF and your stepdaughter, and then you get to go visit your family!! Lots of people do it, and it doesn't mean their relationship sucks.

I personally think you should GO. And in the back of my mind, I'm hoping that once you are away from him, you will think a little clearer.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

EBSM, I have to second Stick

EBSM, I have to second Stick on this one.

And also, I gotta say, every time I read a blog from you, the first thing that goes through my head is, Wow, I am so glad she's not married to this guy.

"I personally think you should GO. And in the back of my mind, I'm hoping that once you are away from him, you will think a little clearer."

So true, honey. It's better to be alone than in bad company.

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

I feel your pain...we have

I feel your pain...we have sd ths year and my 2 sons go 2 their dad...i mentioned i was gonna go to my moms..my dad passed away 2 years ago and holidays still suck..i thought it would be easier since this is the 1st year i havent had my sons for holidays...husband got furious...so i will sit here alone in hell while unappreciative sd opens the gifts that we spent way too much on esp since she wont like them anyways.

im basically trying to

im basically trying to convince him that this will be a good time for him to see the difference me being gone will make for sd. he claims she's the same when i go out but i know she isnt. i dont think he wants to be left alone with her cause he knows he will cave and give in to her pathetic demands.

a minute ago i explained this to him and he said "i never said u cant go". uh, well, acting like i snubbed u and your kid sure sounds like you'd give me hell until i left, if i decide to go.

i wish sd would fall off the face of the earth. actually i wish i had the balls to leave. i am only staying for bd3. she doesnt need to suffer cause her HALFsister is a twit.

I honestly think your BD

I honestly think your BD will be suffering 10 times more by STAYING in this toxic situation....

i don't think he'll see that

i don't think he'll see that it will be good for him to "bond " with the lil' brat! just go, tell him you'll miss him terribly and kiss the monster good bye, throw some frozen pizza's in the fridge, a loaf of bread and peanutbutter, adn hell, bake some cookies. Then drive like hell!!!! don't waist another minute trying to explain yr self, make it seem like it was his idea! Thats what I'm doin!!!

You too are not attached at

You too are not attached at the hip. There is no reason you can't have a life apart. Its not like you're going to Sodom and Gomorrah for the holiday. (Biblical cities of sin) you're visiting your parents. With you kid(s).

The problems with the step kid are going to get worse. If you can't stand her now its time to seriously consider leaving before it gets harder to do.

You don't want to leave because you're looking forward at all the work both physically and emotionally that is going to take. The other option is you're going to invest more of both in this relationship only to have it fail anyway. Without backing from the bio-father you have zero possibility of success in changing the kid. As the kids approaches puberity you'll find life miserable(r).

I would agree with all these

I would agree with all these posts. My daughters and I are going to see my family for a few days, then come home (since I have to work Christmas Eve).

I have no issues with leaving BF here with his kids, they are his kids to take care of. Heck, he had no issues with leaving me for Thanksgiving when he went to see his family.

I use to be adamant about my ex-husband going with me to see my family. For me it was mostly because I wanted to keep an eye on him and because I felt I deserved it because we practically lived with his!

I would like for BF to go, and I know he would if he had the time. He says he would like me to go to FL with him to see his family, but it never works out time wise.

It has taken a lot of work to get things smooth with SD10 and I. It will be a constant battle. You must keep this in mind. I also agree you need the time away to think.

Take care! I hope it all works out.

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
Erich Fromm