ODD
I just read another post about ODD and I am thinking that my FSD(6) may have this problem. Here are some of the behavorial issues that we have with her.
At home:
- She's mean. She will hurt her BB(4) just because she can. Example: Just punch him in the face. She refers to this as an accident and tries to say that he ran into her hand blamming it on him. This kid has more accidents where another child ends up hurt then any other kid I have ever met.
- Tries to annoy the other kids in the house on purpose.
- Can't manage to not touch the other kids in the house. Eventually they end up screaming because they are so frustrated with her because she won't stop.
- Says mean things to people. Example: Told my BD(6) "why don't you just shut your face," when my my BD ask her not to take her money from her piggy bank.
- Takes the other kids toys usually my BD and hides them so that they can't play with them.
- Needs to have absolute control over her BB(4) and my BD whenever they play.
- Screams at both the kids. It's gotten to the point where the kids won't play with her sometimes.
- Throws huge temper tantrums.
- Argues with SO all the time and this kid has a mouth on her.
- Talks back constantly. Example: SO asked her to pick her stuff up and she yells, "does it look like I'm not doing something right now!"
- Is super needy and expects you to drop everything that you're doing to get her what she wants.
- Can't stand it when somebody else gets more attention then her. She will feel compelled to instult the other person. Example: SO and I went to a wedding. I was dressed up and when everybody was commenting on how good I looked she made it a point to say, "look at miss perfect. How does miss perfect get to be so perfect." Remember this little girl is 6.
In school and daycare
- Has almost been kicked out of daycare on multiple occassions due to behavior issues with the other kids.
- Has stold from two kids on the same day. One of the items that she stold was something that she had to give back that same day because she took it the previous week and after she returned it she turned around stold it again. The daycare teachers won't allow her in the classrooms anymore unless there is somebody with her.
- She stold money from another kid at school.
- She has been physical with other kids at school to the point where she got detention in kindergarden for it. The other kids actully wouldn't play with her anymore towards the end of the year beacause of this and when they would tell her that they didn't want to play with her she would punch them.
- She is disruptive in class. Example: gets up while the teacher is teaching and walks around the class touching other kids to get them upset.
- The teacher has told me that she thinks it's best that my BD and her are in seperate classes next year because of how controlling she is over her.
This list can go on and on. This is what I can think of off the top of my head. So what do you guys think? There are obviously some of you who understand this disorder on this site. Do you think that she has ODD or that this is typical behavior from a 6 year old?
Personally, I don't agree
Personally, I don't agree with labeling a kid that young ODD, i think you have a lack of parenting or a guilty parent on your hands. She's doing what she wants and running feral cuz she can
I agree with you on that. She
I agree with you on that. She has been aloud to run free and do whatever she wants. I have been working on SO and we now have a set of house rules taped to the back of the pantry door in the kitchen with a list of punishments below each rule so that we can ensure that there is consistancy now. It took some pushing but it's there now. I do think that there might be something wrong with her though. She's just a mean child. Sometimes she can be so sweet but the moment you're backs turned better watch out.
I wouldn't rule it out
I wouldn't rule it out completely, all I was saying is she's too young to diagnose and I don't have the back story but it sounds like she hasn't had much structure.Even if you got her diagnosed you'd need to provide the structure and discipline, there is no magic pill, most good doctors won't diagnose a kid under 7.
6 is not too young to
6 is not too young to diagnose with ODD. My SD was diagnosed at 6 and the diagnosis is right on.
That's called BAD PARENTING!
That's called BAD PARENTING!
Too young to diagnose it yet.
Too young to diagnose it yet. Sounds like bad parenting and lack of consistency. She needs to be called out on everything everytime or you will have a monster on your hands.
If she does have it, it will come out by middle school. In the meantime, you need to be firm on every incident and that may make a huge difference. She sounds very spoiled. When did we have to give a medical label to it? She is a spoiled brat that needs consistency to make her a better person.
You are in a hard place because it is not your child. You will always be wrong no matter what. Hopefully your DH will step up and do the hard thing and parent this child.
Not too young to diagnose but
Not too young to diagnose but it is a result of bad parenting.
Disagree - My Nephew has all
Disagree - My Nephew has all sorts of issues and we were told by several counselors that they will not give him a definite clinical diagnosis until he is in at least the 3rd grade, preferably later. His parents have taken him to several counselors and docs and they have all said the same thing. It is too early to diagnose.
You are talking about a 6 year old. If she had discipline consistently, you would not be seeing any of this to this degree.
I'm sorry you are going
I'm sorry you are going through this. It is hell. My SD6 was violent and screamed for hours.
We were told that consitency was key (same bed time, NEVER give in when you say no), treat her like a kid, not like an adult and NOT the center of the universe. Love her lots, though that is really, REALLY hard sometimes. Unfortunately, the golden uterus doesn't do this stuff, so for months it seemed that we were fighting a losing battle. But, we fought through and with therapy, very limited time with her BM we have seen a huge change in her. She has had a few screaming fits the last few months when she is over tired, other than that she is able to control herself when she gets angry and frustrated. It's been a difficult year but we are all better for sticking to our guns. GOOD LUCK!
It is from a lack of
It is from a lack of parenting and I do think that she has been spoiled. I keep teliing SO that if he can't manage to get her under control she is going to be a monster by the time she hits her teens. We are working very hard on to fix this with her and I know that it's not going to happen over night. Especially with a mother that allows her to run wild. The issue that I have with SO is that when he punishes for things that aren't on the list of rules he isn't as strict as he should be. Example, when she got caught stealing twice in one week he just wanted to send her to bed 30 minutes early everynight throughout the week but let her have all the treats that she wanted and let her stay up and watch movies on the weekend. Not all of this happened thank god. She went to bed an hour early even on the weekends and didn't get her movies. If I caught my daughter stealing she would go to be right after dinner. There would be no treats, no movies for the entire week, and I would take her on a little trip to have a chat with a police officer. I don't mess around. It's up to us as parents to raise kids and get them ready for the real world. If you steal when you're an adult, you go to jail or depending on where this was done you lose your job. If you treat people like crap, they just won't want to be around you and there is nothing that you can do to force them. I think the main issue with her is her mother. Her mother got caught stealing last year from her job and they fired her. She has a horrible personality disorder(s) where she treats people like crap and just doesn't care. She was very emotionally and verbally abusive to SO when they were together. It's pretty unbelievable. This is one of the main reasons why I think that FSD may have some sort of personality disorder herself. She can do the meanest things and feel no remorse what so ever. Don't get me wrong I think a lot of her issues stem from a lack of parenting but I also think that there is something else there too.