Ok, this is my first forum topic, and I could really use some advice. My DH and I have been together 3 years, married for 2 of those years. For almost the entire first 2 and half years bm has made it perfectly clear that as long as DH is with me she will have no working relationship with him in regards to their son.Bm has refused to meet at visitation pick ups or drop offs if I or my children are in the car, I have had to file stalking and harrassment charges agiants her in the past, she has sent anonymous faxes to one of my previous employers ( yes this cost me my job) if she hears me in the background of any phone conversations she has with my dh, she yells at him to tell me to stay out of their business and to shut the f...up.( mind you I have two children myself who reside with us and am usually cutting up with or conversing with them when she claims to hear me in the background..bm refuses to accept mail from my dh if I happen to be the one to address the envelope, and she has refused e-mail as a form of communication because she knows dh is usually on the road(chemical sales) which means I am having to type the messages to her for him. She has also taken DH back to court on C.S issues and has done everything she can to get him thrown in jail. We have FINALLY after almost 3 years of this abuse which includes her withholding visitation any time she chooses, refusing to let DH speak to his son on the phone ect, retained an attorney(its taken 3 years because guess what, getting these crazies back to court is not cheap)Ok,so here is my issue, over the past 2 weeks (after not letting DH see his son for over a year now and refusing to give us her address so we could enforce the visitation) bm is now letting DH speak to his son, is OFFERING to help in the buying of airfair to let dh son come to visit, and every time dh gets on phone to speak to son..who is 6 btw, she of course has to get on the phone too. Last night she got on phone with dh and started the what happened to us talk.Now she says she does not want him back, she has moved on and is finally happy in her life..and she is happy he has found someone that he is happy with because she relizes that they were no good together,THE ALWAYS MADE BETTER FRIENDS, then husband and wife. And here is the kicker, she wants them to be freinds agian..that is what she misses...she brings up their past friends, high school years,anything in general that has to do with THEIR previous life together...Again she says she doesnt want him back, and yet I will be damned if it doesnt seem to me like she is doing all she can to reconnect with DH in areas I did not exist.( DO YOU REMEMBER SO AND SO?) OMGGGGGGGGG...I know for a fact she has no clue we have retained an attorney ( at least not yet, she is to be served next week) so that is not the reason for this change. I also know she is not dating anyone currently, and she makes it ver clear to her remarried ex husband, my DH, that she will never remarry. She has continually tried to keep herself in dh parents faces...during past year that DH was denied visitation by her she let DH mother come see his son( which we didnt mind, because at least someone in dh family was getting access to dh little boy) Now in regards to DH parents, they love me and my children to death and they agree she is a loon, but dh mother felt her seeing her grandson at least gave her opprotunity to make sure ss knows he is loved and missed by his daddy( she would let ss call dh when ss was visiting at her house) and DH father and stepmother are the ones footing the bill for the attorney..$4000.00 to help us get this loon back to court for modifications and contempt charges..so their loyalty indeed lies with their son,dh. Last night bm let ss call DH. It started out as a nice convo between father and son..then she got on the phone agian..after 45 minutes of bullsh.. convo, and talk of how much wieght she has lost and how their son says he has the most beautiful mommy and how well she is doing in her career(she is a teacher) my husband finally got a word in edge wise, long enough to say I have to go...which got a reply from her" why, I was enjoying our converstation together..." DH agian reiterated that he had to go..dinner... and said his good byes. In the past bm has made comments to dh that if he left me he could come live with her until he got on his feet in a new city..of course it would be purly platonic,lol. Here is my question, What the hell is this woman up to????I know whatever it is its no good..Dh is very much in love with me..and yes he has been a total son of a bit... to her in the past because of the things she has done to him, to me, to his son...the only reason he has tolerated her blubbering convos of late is because his attorney advised him to do so so as to not give her any indication of what is about to hit her...but her change in attitude is making me and dh very uneasy...this is very unlike her..If you have any opinions or have experienced anything close to this please let me know...need to understand and need advice desperatly.
S.Graham