need some adivce!
Okay I just need some advice?
I was an only child, only had a couple of cousins who were older than me, and no children.
My husband has a five year old daughter who lives with us four times.
I am fed up with the fact that she can't do anything for herself. He says she is still too little.
I need some first hand examples of what your five year old did/ or does and what you believe should be required.
The kid can't snap her on pants. Now i am not talking about button I am talking about a simple snap or button.
She can't put a jacket on by herself says its hurts her arms
Can't brush her hair(dh blames it on the brush so I went out and bought four more, now he blames it on needing a hair cut)
doesnt brush her teeth unless the toothbrush is fixed for her and she is forced and she screams
can't buckle/or unbuckle herself in the car
can't open or shut the car door forherself
doesnt eat real food on occassion a biscuit, roll, or hashbrowns
doesnt make up her bed
doesnt flush the toilet
doesnt clean up after herself
cant drink out of an open cup (she always spills it)
she wont put on her shoes
she cant put on her own socks
she runs into everything
she wont sit at the table and eat dinner she runs laps around the table
she falls all the time
my point being i think all of this should be expected of a five year old and I am tired of hearing she is still too young. I am so tired of it. I am tired of yelling, tired of trying, we have a baby on the way we dont need to be treating her like one too!
OMG can you say "enabler"
OMG can you say "enabler" daddy does not want his little girl to grow up. He's really doing a major dis-service to this child. And, the child will play along even to adulthood and beyond because she will learn she can manipulate daddy by playing helpless.
A child of 5 who has normal development, without any learning disabilities, etc should be able to:
-brush their teeth, hair, and take their own baths.
-dress themselves. In pre-school they learn about dressing, putting on their shoes. some kids can tie their own shoes by age 4.
-Drink out of a cup--usually by 15 months old
-eats 'real" food NOT baby food.
-Knows her ABC's, possible read. Can draw pictures and color somewhat in the lines.
Especially girls, they seem a little more advanced than boys. Has this kid been tested for delayed learning? I mean these are basic skills. She is NOT too young to know these basic things and if not gently pushed to do things on her own and greatly encouraged by the adults in her life to master simple skills--I don't see this poor child making it in kindergarten. Most kids by age 5 have been to preschool and HAVE to do all the things on your list because to advance to upper grades. I am really surprised because most kids want to do things on their own. Someone is having trouble letting their child leave the baby stage that's IF there is nothing mentally wrong with the child.
My SS is 17 he can't do
My SS is 17 he can't do button, zippers, snaps or shoe laces, can only wear pullover tops (jackets/shirts...hurt his arm to put on too), can't brush or comb his hair (something has been wrong with every comb and brush...I stopped buying him new oness), doesn't brush his teeth, can't remember to use shampoo or deodorant, buckling himself into the car is an episode (just getting into the car is an issue), can't use a knife or fork (he can only eat thinks with his hands), make a bed...what's that?, doesn't flush or wipe his butt, doesn't clean up after himself (as he points out I pick up after the dogs), can only drink out of a bottle, bumps into everything and everyone, can't remember to change his socks (they are crunchy and the dogs sniff them and backup), at the table he will slide down the chair or slide over to the next chair,can't shut a door behind him and is just totally spazzy.
Your SD is 5.....I'm sure my SS was worse at that age.
17 years old? Was that a
17 years old? Was that a typo? :O
I agree. When my SS7 was 4
I agree. When my SS7 was 4 he had responsibilities. They can most certainly dress themselves. she should be reading (if not LD). they are capable of picking up their own messes. My SS's were able to do their own car seat strappings by 4! they are capable of making choices.
a fabulous book and series is "Love and Logic". i would recommend looking it up. it helped my H get to where he could give the kids responsibility rather than taking it on himself. it gave us a common ground for dicipline that we both could agree with, and it became more of a lifestyle and has been excellent for the kids (and my sanity)!
You and your H need to get on the same page, quickly. good luck!
Does she drool and drop food
Does she drool and drop food everywhere too? If so, that sounds just like my SD6.
My BD20 was far beyond these things at 5 years old. She even won a "keyboarding skills" award, at age 5 years old. Anywho,
It is all from being treated
It is all from being treated as an infant. If they were shown how to grow up, there would be no cause for concern with delayed development.
Blame the bioparents for treating her like a 1 year old baby. That is all that is wrong with SD6.
My BS5 can do all of those
My BS5 can do all of those things and more. He even knows how to use a screwdriver to open just about any toy or game, how to run a microwave, how to make his own bed, etc. My SS11 on the other hand can't even pick out his own clothes. Even if we are on a trip and they are in a special bag laid out for him, he still requires me to open the bag and pull his clothes out for him. He acts completely helpless. I've raised my Biokids to be independent and responsible. They aren't perfect and still need reminding, but they have plenty of self-help skills. BS5 knows how/where to put his clothes away in a drawer, SS11 has a breakdown if I even ask him to put away a pair of underwear. Basically, anything that requires work on SS's part he wants nothing to do with.
Its not the problem that she
Its not the problem that she cant do all these things its that when her daddy is around (which he is way more than me) she knows she can get away with it. the clumsiness and stuff i dont know whats wrong with her on that. the eating its bc she knows she can eat junk if she begs. she is a very bright kid was writing her name at age 3 and can count to twenty. she has been in preschool for two years now and we have never got a complaint besides the typical she didnt want to take a nap today or just something small. its the home life thats the problem. i have tried talking writing letters wriiting rules anything how do i get this to stop!
Well that being the case,
Well that being the case, meaning she goes to preschool and does all the things she is suppose to do, appears she is at the appropriate developmental level. The problem is her dad. Won't change unless he starts treating his child appropriately for her age.
Daddy needs to back up and
Daddy needs to back up and let baby girl grow up naturally. I can see her being clumsy, and not doing a lot of the things on the list, but most kids can do that stuff, even if not perfect.
I believe she should be able to do these:
sox and shoes
flush the toilet
brush teeth
sit at the table
buckle her car seat
Giving her responsibilities will help her grow too! You say I'm going to need you to be a big girl like me and help with the baby!
Be a big girl and put on your shoes.
Big girls always flush the potty!
Make her your little buddy and you'll get a lot more from her than if you are yelling.