I think your DH is taking royal advantage of you - bad back or not. He could at least get up, prop himself on a stool against the kitchen counter and make some lunches for the brood. Ditto, in the afternoon, get dinner ready for you, you have been working all day.

How dare he call you a nagging whatever when you are heroically holding things together. Doing "everything he can" sounds like doing f**k all, from what you said. I am not at all surprised you are angry, you have every reason to be.

I have to agree with Echo on this one....

Z

Echo makes complete sense!!!! But if you have a problem being direct, then call a family meeting and let them all know that until DH is back to normal, you need more help from all of them. They are all old enough to pitch in, even the 5-year-old. They can make their own lunches and pick up after themselves. Your DH and the 14 year old can fix dinner (one only) together for the family. That should give them time to talk. And I agree that if DH is healthy enough to go to sporting events and practices, he can man up at home a lot more.
No wonder you're stressed and angry. Hang in there and let us know how it goes.

Here is something that I had to learn in my marriage because my DH grew up with a SAHM (stay at home mother) who did EVERYTHING for him...my personality had me wanting to do everything for everyone because I felt if I did it, at least it would be done to my perfection. For example, cooking, cleaning, putting dishes away. I quickly learned with children and a spouse, that isn't a good trait to have. I would literally go home from working, cook DH's food, serve it to him on the table, pour his drink, get his utensils, empty his plate when he's finished, put the leftovers in containers, clean the kitchen, all of that. I quickly learned that I needed to delegate things more.

You are the breadwinner in the family right now. Delegate your responsibilities. Someone should be helping another person get dressed in the morning. Older children should have the responsibility of maybe packing their own lunch and also packing one of their siblings lunch. After school, no one sits down until chores are completed. That means, drop your booksac, and someone gets the dog, someone begins packing lunches for the next day, someone set the table. Start delegating things to them. They are big enough to handle it.

I promise, it keeps your sanity and it makes you less stress. The only other thing I had to wrory about was the fact that things are not going to be done to my liking anymore, but I prefer that than losing my brains.

DELEGATE!!

But it's not that damn simple Echo!!

"On some level, though? You're doing this to yourself. TWO meals because "the kids didn't want to eat when I did"? And YOU walked the dog? You tell the kids "Dinners ready". If they don't eat, they go without. You tell the oldest "The dog needs to go for a walk. NOW". You're volunteering to be everyones victim and only YOU can stop it by standing up straight and saying "Enough. I'm no ones slave and we are ALL in this family together, so we all have responsibilities". Stop being the family martyr, honey. There's no reward in it, just aggravation and anger."

You make it sound like just because she screams/talks this people will listen....sometimes you get so sick and tired of nagging and nobody listening that you just "give up" and do it your damn self....because the war isn't worth it...I'm there, I know the feeling.

And lately I keep seeing you say things like "I would never allow, my dh wouldn't dare....you need to, i wouldn't allow-why are you allowing, it's your fault"....and it's like salt in the wounds when people are already feeling like crap because they don't know what to do-and not everything works as we want it to, we probably have tried different approaches w/our families (step-so's, bios)....and are venting and want ideas...not "i'd never allow, why are you" comments. Grrrr...sorry, not in a great mood lately

The kids can take care of lunches and breakfast themselves. If the younger ones aren't bed wetters, have them shower at night. Have the older 2 take turns walking the dog.