I am Loosing it with BM
My SD14 lives w/ us FT; we have 3 bios. SD14 has lived with us for 2 years; BM has 3 other children; but can't handle SD.
BM does not have regular visits or a regular $ schedule. She "does what she can"
Last week DH was in hospital. I ran around like crazy; worked all day and came home to 4 kids; a dog; hospital visits.....etc. I ended up having (DH asked) if I could go to SD open house because BM "had plans" Come to find out........She got rid of her other kids and went out partying!! I am so sick of this; she is able to do whatever she wants.
This weekend was the first time in 45 days that she took her all weekend. She came home w/ a web cam and a curling iron.........NO $$ for us; no lunch $$, no school picture $$ - NOTHING. And of course, to be expected SD thinks BM is god now!!
I am so sick of doing and doing and BM just gets to come and go as she pleases!! (I know it's not SD fault; that's not what I am saying)
My ss9 lives with us FT too,
My ss9 lives with us FT too, per court order. BM has 0 financial responsibility to her own child and she ABSOLUTELY takes advantage of that. I call her a "hero in child support court" because honestly, who gets a court order to have 0 financial responsibility to a child THEY made??? Ugh.
Anywho....I keep telling myself that SOMEDAY, this child will know what went on during the divorce process. He will SOMEDAY know that his mother contributed $0 to his living expenses, back to school clothes, sports, cub scouts, uniforms, shoes, hats, gloves, mittens, toothpaste, haircuts...this list is endless.
We have all of the information waiting for him when he is mature enough to handle it. Daily logs of ss9's interactions with BM and his maternal grandparents during the divorce. Videos of interactions between his parents, voicemails, texts, emails, e v e r y t h i n g that we had to go through. And yes, ss9 thinks his mother is a superhero when she buys him a Red Sox pencil box but he's 9. He has 0 idea what the situation really is.
It's beyond frustrating to be financially responsible for a child that does not belong to you. However, being the bigger person will ONLY make BM look like the trash she really is.
"who gets a court order to
"who gets a court order to have 0 financial responsibility to a child THEY made?"
My ex husband. Yup. $0 for 4 kids. Court Ordered. Fuck Washington State. I should make that my sig.
My DD's father is the same
My DD's father is the same way. He has been keeping up with his support but he comes and goes whenever he pleases. He tries to make our lives revolve around his schedule and ALL WE HEAR from my DD is how great he is and she wants to see him. When in reality, we do everything for her, take her places, etc. He didn't come pick her up last week bc it was raining! I didn't know parenting stopped in the rain...I feel your pain. DD thinks DH and I are "very mean" and her dad is just the best. Yeah I guess when he is out of jail and rehab every now and then he is just stinkin "awesome"... *sigh*
We paid child support even
We paid child support even though we had legal custody of the kids! BM 2 abandoned the two younger ones to us. We also paid back child support to first BM because BM 2 did not pay it out of household expenditure and DH thought it was being paid! BM 1 did abandon older SD to us the second I was in the picture...she could not handle his moods? He's a teenager! We had no issues with him? Anyhow, we repaid that, paid for two younger ones and were still able to live so no big deal. Once we paid off the arrears to BM 1, that's twice DH paid that sum? Anyhow, I kind of knew that I'd have to make some adjustments since I came into a marraige where there were kids involved. It's been a hell of a ride, SKids are now all of age so it should get easier, right? I obliged folks here to adjust to me by not tolerating their crap, calling their bluff and generally being the evil one. I can live with that, already SD is telling me she understands why I did the things I did...LOL kids grow up, regardless!