My SS needs counseling...How can we get him to go when he doesn't want to?
My SS is in need of counseling. He is depressed, crying out for help by telling his BM "I sometimes want to kill myself" and BM does nothing but says "well that's between you and god". BM has also called him stupid. This incident just happened in the last day. My DH decided to go and get his son even though it was not his visitation. SS is with us every other weekend and every Thursday. He is failing school, has a bad attitude, is left home alone overnight when at BM's house, has not rules, hates everyone etc. SS is in desperate need of counseling. DH and I met with Laywers yesterday to start the process of full custody...we are doing a ex parte, hopefully we will have more control over what happens to SS.
Does anyone have any ideas or experience in trying to get SS, SD, or bio children into therapy when they do not want to go? WE are desperate and are willing to do anything to save him.
Thank you for your thoughts and comments.
Does DH do anything when
Does DH do anything when child threatens to kill himself? Or when BM relays that conversation? That jumped out at me IMMEDIATELY. Ignoring threats of child suicide is CHILD ABUSE in my book. I'd call CPS and the local hospital to have him put on a mental health hold.
Don't sit here and type to a bunch of strangers.
I'll try to take it down a
I'll try to take it down a notch. I lost my brother to suicide, so this topic is big for me.
BTW: unless I'm reading this wrong, that boy is a minor child. Don't ask the child to solve his own problems and raise himself too.
Thank you for your
Thank you for your comment;
SS said this to BM Tuesday, BM never told DH about it, SS then called DH and told him what he said about killing himself and what BM's response was. This is the first time DH heard of this. We met with the lawyer yesterday and are starting the process of getting him out of BM care, We are trying to figure out what our next steps are and get him into counseling.
You have to believe the child
You have to believe the child every time. If a school teacher or any other 'mandated reporter' caught a whiff of a child mentioning the desire to kill him/herself even in anger, they will report it. If the same mandated reporters catch a whiff of parents ignoring, nullifying or blowing off a child who makes these type comments, they will report it.
Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your comment. Trying to get a grip on this situation. I will start looking immediately.
If court is inevitable
If court is inevitable anyway, ask for the judge to make counseling mandatory. But, I would take more immediate action as the ladies have stated above. You don't want to take chances that he will follow through on his threats.
Please immediately call his school and alert the counselor there. If he mentions anything like that to his dad again, try to impress upon your DH the importance of taking him in immediately.
This is going to sound harsh,
This is going to sound harsh, but next time he flies into a manic state or threatens suicide have him commited to a psych ward for 72 hour watch. During that period have a lawyer file an emergency custody transfer. If you have proof the BM has suck a casual attitude with her son threatening to kill himself that will help you out.
God bless, and I hope your SS gets the help he needs.
Here is an update on the
Here is an update on the situation.....
Earlier today my DH called his school counselor to notify her about what has occurred with SS. DH and then proceeded to set up an apt. for SS to see a Psychologist that specializes in Adult adolescent issues including suicide. We will be taking him in tomorrow. We will not be leaving SS unattended. Lawyer is currently sending in ex parte to have custody immediately given to my DH. Hopefully the judge will sign it.
I appreciate all of your input, thoughts, concerns, harsh words.
Thank you so much; DH and I are still trying to get a handle on the situation but keeping a focus on SS.
Thank you and DH for stepping
Thank you and DH for stepping up for SS.
Coping with anyone in this level of distress or mental health crisis is horrible. Right/wrong ... do they mean it or is it strictly wanting attention or guilting the parent ? You've got to take this stuff on face value (even if a little voice says: "That Little Shit doesn't mean it.") There's some kids who talk cr*p they heard on TV, and some that mouthe words to get a reaction with little intent. There's the 'accidental' suicides and also a huge element of "Crying Wolf." Then, there are the ones who feel like a fox in a trap and need to gnaw off their leg or kill themselves to be free from the pain.
Can you imagine living the rest of your life if he kinda, sorta, didn't mean to, but ... ?
I was abrupt this morning. I expected simply coffee, checking the internet before work, read one element of your post and reacted. There is so much more going on in your life. I think other posters said it much better than I did. I am so sorry that you are faced with this situation in your life.