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My life .......

stillwater's picture

My story about a stepfather`s life w/ the Dukes of Hazzard:)
the boys are 20 and 17. When we go in public together w/o their mom, they get away from me at a distance, and look around suspiciously, like if they are ashamed to be seen in public with me. They look all around, then to each other. Its quite pathetic. Anyway, my parents always were there for them (they were 4 and 16 mos. of age when I met their mother). Their father has had a Terrific impact on them(what a prince!). These guys made an art of tearing up my stuff, playing tricks(you`ve all seen Home Alone, right!). They were so bad that after about 6 or 7 years, we sent them to live with their dad(1,000 miles away). We had to do all the traveling, all the time off, etc. they were here for the summer every year.
Anyway, the latest saga was my grandmoter`s funeral. 95 years old she was. She always was good to them, as were my parents. The boys live here now(this just happened six months ago). The 17 yo wanted to wear camo boots to the funeral. They were both acting like A$$e$ that weekend. So we are at visitation, and my wife is standing there with our(her!) friends(she, I believe, invited them for support), and 17 starts acting up(he likes to embarass). Hes talking crap about us, right there in front of my parents,and all their friends, trying his best to embarass us. Mom`s friends already know the story,so they just hurt themselves! My wife and I aren`t real close w/some of the family, they seem 'stuck up". That`s why, I believe, that she brought her `friends` along. She claims she didn`t hear a word of AN this , even though she was standing beside them(nothing new. My wife is 1st class expert in DENIAL. My parents and I no longer have much to do with the "Dukes" (I call them this `cause they act like the Dukes with cocaine and booze in them sometimes!) Even though I don`t know of them doing this stuff, that`s just how they act to embarass us. r6mx7

stillwater's picture

I tried to talk 17 into private school(my wife and I have a 10yo.girl together, who goes to Christian school)and I wanted to offer it to him, just so he wouldn`t be jealous(he is very jealous). I have explained to him that love and respect go further than power, but power gratifies him more, obviously. So he is a full blown PITA when it suits him. The 20yo has moved out(thank God!). you`re right about my wife, there are issues, however I want my daughter to be happy(she stays with my mother a lot, she can`t stand much of 17). I miss her, she`s VERY precious to me. She does stand up to him well:) For a 10yo, she stands up for herself:)My wife`s "friends" think 17 is okay, and blame me for being crappy with him. They should go through what I have, they`ve never experienced the world of stepchildren. About discipline, I used to discipline them when they were young, but their mom didn`t so much. Then when 17 got sent back here to live when he was 12(he was a PITA for them too!),and 20 came home last year(controlling real dad wouldn`t let him get his license, disapproved of his girlfriend `cause she was hispanic, etc)My wife started feeling like I had been too hard on them over the previous years,I think this came about because she missed them over the years.(my mother says its B.S.! , she knows first hand what I went through, she was there). I had a stroke in `08, so I quit arguing w/ them, etc. for my own health. I am talking to a therapist these days,wish I had done this sooner. We took 17 to the same therapist back in`07, but he couldn`t help him, 17 would just clam up. the therapist is wonderful for me,though.