Must vent or else!
I can't believe I found this site today. This is EXACTLY what I need. I have no one to talk to about this and I just need to vent. So here goes...
When I met my DH he was separated (his wife met someone on the internet and kicked him out of the house), still friendly toward his wife, and friendly toward his in-laws. I met all of them and had NO problem with them. I felt sorry for his wife because I knew she was making a HUGE mistake and his in-laws were just nice people. In fact, the mother-in-law and I would exchange books. Then everything changed. 2 weeks before our wedding the ex-wife called and said she wants him back. He told her no way. It was over. He's in love with me now. She called back a couple more times crying, blah, blah, blah. Then 4 months later the now ex-mother-in-law sends him a b-day card with a long letter saying how nice it would be if him and her daughter would just get back together and how hard her daughter has been crying because he won't get back together with her and would he still consider it. That's when I had had enough! I told my husband I don't think it's right conversing with these people when ultimately they are tyring to break us up. He called the ex-mother-in-law and told her out of respect for me he doesn't want to talk to her ever again. He doesn't blame her for wanting them to get back together but because she sent the letter she had to know there would be consequences.
Fast forward a couple years. Now my DH's mom and DH's uncle and the ex-mother-in-law hang out! I can't believe it. I have to hear about this witch from my SD and now from my mother-in-law and my DH's uncle. Recently my SD told me her grandma (ex-MIL) said I will make a bad mother someday and if I were the Christian woman I say I am I would have respected my DH's marital vows and let them get back together. WHAT????
I feel so betrayed. My mother-in-law knows the ex-MIL hasn't been nice to me. Why would she want to hang out with her? It doesn't bother my husband and he thinks I'm overreating.
Does anyone have any advise? Be as brutal as you want. I need to hear it.
Thanks. Becky
Becky...
Honey, file this under WHO GIVES A SHIT and try not to let it bother you. When stuff like this happens, give it the old eye-roll and have a laugh at her expense, because she's pathetic and transparent and not worth your fretting over. Enjoy your husband, enjoy your life, enjoy your family and screw her. She's a jealous old bag.
And your MIL? Well, some she's a grown woman. If she wants to be friends with her son's ex-MIL, there's not much you can do about it. You and he can let her know that you're uncomfortable with the friendship, but she's a big girl. Just keep your own counsel and guard yourself around your MIL, but try not to let it get to you. It's just not worth it to let these hangers-on threaten your happiness. As hard as it is, never give them the satisfaction of a reaction. Live your best life and be happy, despite them.
~ Anne ~
"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)
Let Them Talk
I personally wouldn't participate in family function with inlaws if that is the way they want to treat you. But that is just me. I can isolate myself and keep myself occupied. DH needs to stand up and kick ass!
Ex this and Ex that - it is all a pain in the A...........
I have to say that Anne8102 is probably right.
Not much you can do about people who choose to like eachother when you feel it is inappropriate or disrespectful to you. The more you get upset and more they may cement their relationships. Just smile but don't tell your MIL much cause it will probably go back to the ex MIL.
Ex families and ex partners are just a pain. But due to the high divorce rates, more than half of us end up with some of these 'ex problems' it is just part of life.
I can say that this week at least cause the exes have not upset me recently (for a change).
Thanks everyone...
for commenting on my frustrations. Anne, I especially appreciate yours. I try to let it roll off my back but I guess my skin isn't that thick. I try everyday to forgive these people and just move on. But it's hard. I do have a great life. I love my husband very much. Finding this website and hearing about other's problems and venting when necessary is just what I need. Thanks!
see my post HORRIBLE MEDDLING IN_LAWS
Same thing here....except I'm not even ACKNOWLEDGED by my in-laws, and they purposely call the ex - who is a recovering drug addict who used while preggo - to gossip about their son and our household. Nice, eh? They're idiots. As long as your DH has your back, is loyal to you and YOUR immediate family, that's really all you can ask for. I would love nothing more than to feel accepted and appreciated by the in-laws for the positive impact I've made in SS's and DHs life, but they're incapable of doing that, and I'm not wasting my energy. THANK GOD they live 3,000 miles away.