Over the last week I've had my Dad in town staying with us. It's been 20+ years since I've left home and don't get to see my Dad very often because of distance. But during the visit I was reminded of whats its like to have a parent. My parents were also divorced but my Dad was never a disney dad.

When I didn't want to eat what I was served he said "You dont have to like it. You do have to eat it." Thank you Dad, I can now handle myself in these situations as an adult and not come across to others as awkward. And in MANY situations this same thing has come across my mind - work, family situations, Bills, etc.

When I didn't want to visit him as I was supposed to he said "Not up to you. It was decided for you, shut up and get in the car." No bribing, not coddling just the freaking truth. Thank you Dad. Thank you for letting ME be the kid and YOU being the grown up. I felt safer knowing who was in charge.

When I was rude to adults, his girlfriend, grandmother or whoever, I was punished. I remember vividly getting my walkman (aging myself here) taken away because I didn't want to take my headphones out to chat with my grandmother. Thank you Dad. Thank you for being in charge and teaching me manners. Dad-ism here was "You don't have to like everyone you meet. you do have to be respectful."

When I wanted money, I got chores. I know the value of a dollar and how hard it is to earn.

When I didn't want to wash my hair, he got it cut off. He said "Its fine if you don't want to wash it, but if you don't take care of something it goes away." You better bet I always washed my hair after that!

My mother did not help him.. At all.. She was in some popularity contest with him. For a while I painfully for my dad, didn't want to see him because of it. I was a shit. But disneyland got old and I wanted structure, even though I didn't know it at the time. I felt safe knowing he was in charge. He told me during his visit last week that boundaries are like a dam. They are there to stop the damage and protect. Now I feel really bad for my SD and all the other kids on here in this disneyland. They don't get the safety I felt or lessons that I learned, They are all in the flood. That makes my heart hurt. I know there is nothing I can do for mine and disengaging is best. I just needed to share what I was thinking, Lord knows I can't share it with my husband. Thanks for reading