Mediation with the devil
:jawdrop:
This is my first time on here, I am trying to it all figure out. Tomorrow : mediation with the devil. We are in the middle of a social study for court to determine finalization of sole custody, the last meeting with the court appointed counselor is tomorrow and it will be MEDIATION with psycho BM- her newest husband (whom has never had the guts to introduce himself to us and we have been dealing with him weekly for almost an entire year now...Real winner).
We have has custody of my SS for almost a year now, she lost because when she has him just on Mon & Tuesdays of each week, she managed to not take him to school so many days that he almost failed Kindergarten...(She can thank me for closely monitoring the situation and contacting the school...She then decided she was just going to DISENROLL him from school with out our consent= BAD NEWS ;).... The BM currently has the child either one day a weekend of 2, depending on the weekend. She is horrid....
I have been with my husband for 5 years, my SS just turned 7 this month..... I have taken care of my SS the majority of the time I have been in his life. I have had the law enforcement keep files on us, she has sued me for an excess on one million dollars- the whole 9 yards= 100% PSYCHO. I could keep going, but I have other things to do tonight....
ANYWAY- Tomorrow is mediation, the lady already does not like me because BM (also makes me thing of Bowel Movement) told her LAST YEAR, in another social study, that I am a TEN YEAR METH ADDICT !!! And the counselor lady was bias and believed her !!! (TOTALLY NOT TRUE FOLKS).... Anyway, how am I suppose to act when I am faced with the devil tomorrow ?? How am I suppose to conduct myself ? Do I speak @ mediation, or do I let DH handle it all ? She has been trying to argue with us over STUPID things today, do I tell the bias counselor about this ? Pleae give me some insight !!!
Excuse any typos I can not
Excuse any typos
I can not figure out how to edit yet !!
A kid can fail KINDERGARTEN?
A kid can fail KINDERGARTEN? I had no idea.
When he misses over 18
When he misses over 18 days....Texas requires students to attend at least 90% of the time.
She knows I typically fly off
She knows I typically fly off the handle when she starts her arguments, but lately it hasn't been worth my time ! I have 4 kids to raise, I can't deal with her childish behaviors on top of theirs !!
Very interesting. You should
Very interesting.
You should allow DH to speak first, and then input as necessary. Do not appear as if you are RUNNING THE SHOW.... But DO appear as if you are are a loving, caring, SM. Be very calm. At some point early on, try to take an opportunity to introduce yourself, give any credentials you have, and make a clear point that you love and adore the child.
Be as upfront, direct, low key, loving and caring as possible. Make sure to act lovingly toward your DH and he should also act that way toward you. That will show the mediator that you are a loving couple. Be your intelligent self and believe me, the mediator will figure it out. Look to your DH for the answers first, and add any details you feel is necessary.
One thing that is very important.. it is the one thing I've experienced most regarding custody hearings, etc... Husbands have a difficult time detailing events. Your husband must get over this and be as detailed as he possibly can. Tell him.... he is a salesman. He must sell himself and the loving environment.
For example: He cannot just say... well, we watch tv together on Thursday night.
He must say: We make sure to set aside Friday night as tv night because my son loves to watch the show.....blank blank....that comes on at 8 pm. We make popcorn, and he always has his favorite drink.....apple juice.... and we all watch the show together. Its great fun.
Do you see my point? Its just an example...but he must be detailed. And so must you! He must come across as the best possible parent. Then everything he says...will carry more weight. He will have her eating out of his hand. It doesn't matter how pssd BM gets with all your lovey dovey talk. YOU ARE BATTLING FOR YOUR SS's FUTURE HERE!
I will look forward to hearing tomorrow night how it went.
Good Luck.
AWESOME !! Thank you !! Yes,
AWESOME !! Thank you !! Yes, I typically do 'run the show' and that is why our atty(poa) advises me NOT to come to court with my DH !
So now that I read this, it better explains why when the counselor saw me hugging on my husband she looked pleased.... (YEY!) I will not say a word and I will smile the entire time !
I just hope I don't get all jittery when I am around BM like I usually do, because I have SOOO MUCH to say to her once this court process it over !!! She contacted my sons father(who abused him when he was an infant) and told him in exchange for information on ME she'd "help him get custody of his son"..... When she did that, shen crossed the line with me !!! No going back on that one !! That and she has called CPS on us SOOO many times that they recognize our names and just directly call us when she calls on us !!
After this final court date- she needs to seriously watch her step !!
I am happy I found this site.
We did the full psychological
We did the full psychological evaluation, and it just says she is an obsessive hypochondriac that complains constantly and likes to get revenge on her ex's....
We did hair follicle tests, we passed.
I have 11 + years to ride this roller coaster, but my husand & SS are woth it !
Act sane and rational and ask
Act sane and rational and ask for proof of her accusations. Clarify when necessary. Be polite, professional and respectful. Take notes.
F.
My FDH had a similar mediator
My FDH had a similar mediator to yours- she bought everything BM told her hook, line and sinker! (I was not with FDH at the time). Let's just say, after he calmed down and started cooly replying to the mediator and courts, things quickly changed in his favor.
Since you're allowed in (sometimes they just let the B-parents) I would second the other ladies' comments and tell DH to act as though it's a job interview but with the attention all being drawn to what he and you and SS do together. He needs to talk about examples of times you all spend time together, specifics. I would be enthusiastic and pleasant- most meth addicts are not either. Just be your smart, charming self!
Good luck. The courts will figure out BM's B.S. soon enough.
If BM told the mediator that
If BM told the mediator that you are a 10yr meth addict then I would sue her worthless ass off. Libel, slander whichever it is that applies. My business law classes were long enough ago that I don't recall. I would throw in a little defamation of character and some emotional and psychological distress just for fun and to add some $'s to the suit.
Grrr!!! Smack her ass in court.
I for one would bare her ass in front of the mediator every time she lies or says something stupid.
But, hey, I go in to these things to have some fun and bare some stupid blended family opposition ass.
Best regards,
She sued ME for one million
She sued ME for one million dollars last year claiming slander & what-not. It would cost us too much $ to obtain another atty.... Plus when they hear our case history they charge an outrageous amount to hire them.
We took drug tests (hair samples) and I came up clean. The chick is just trying to make excuses why I am skinnier than her (and I have had 3 kids : /...)
I just do not understand how some people fall for her act- I think they just feel pity for her, and I am not an emotional person but BM cries all the time... *BLAH*
Thank you for taking the time to respond
She sounds like a real piece
She sounds like a real piece of .... work.
Please excuse me for not welcoming you in my original response to your post. Welcome, I hope you find this a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful perspective from others dealing with the challenges of blended family life.
Good luck and best regards,