I have 2 kids 2 and 4 with DH who has 2 older kids 9 and 10 with ex who lives 3 hours away. She has full custody, she has moved them 9 times in less then 5 years. She had them calling some other guy daddy a month after they split and that guy is no longer in the picture and he was in and out anyway but they still call him, whom they haven seen in over a year dad, and they call DH by his first name. They spend the summer with us, we call every other weekend once a month I send pictures and packages and other silly stuff to them, I never get a call saying thank you or that they even recieved anything. DH finally asked ex if the kids weren't old enough to use a phone or old enough to learn common courtesy? She got all defensive and said they aren't old enough to use a phone but then turned around and said they have our number they just don't want to call and she's not going to force them. They now live with their aunt who has taken it upon herself to tell them what a drunk irresponsible aggressive person their dad is. Which may or may not have been true then,(it's not the case now thaat we've helped him through some issues instead of just nagging him to change) but what kind of jerk poisons a child against their father and then turns around and says "you act just like your dad". Isn't that going to make them feel like crap? I am tired of DH getting feelings hurt and me getting my feelings hurt, I just want to break off all ties til my kids are old enough to decide if they want a relationship with their sisters. I love them I really do, they are sadly neglected one has serious medical problems that are only just now being looked at because BM keeps moving them around and can't make appointments. An their is nothing we can do, we don't have the money to hire a lawyer, we don't want to uproot them again.