Legal Holding of Document saying opp party won't go for cust.
I used to be a frequent poster when I was a step mother(I finally left my now ex husband and havent looked back.
Ok so here's my question:
I am living in another state of our 7 month old. Up until this point he has shown no interest in her, unfortunately. He wants me to move back there so he can start having a relationship w her and not have to drive 6 hours to see her. Now, I am all for this. But his parents have an in when it comes to the court system in his state, which is why I moved. He works 80+ hours a week but w their connections I wouldn't doubt that he'd be able to get custody. He has offered to sign something saying that he won't try to take custody but we both know that no such document can actually hold up in court. Thoughts? Thank you!
Why the sudden interest? If
Why the sudden interest? If he works 80 + hours a week, how will he have any time to form a relationship with her? Either you will be left holding the baby (literally) on your own but in a place where you have no friends/family/support network - or your in-laws will be permanently "babysitting" while he works. Or perhaps his new girlfriend! Whoever wants to have your baby - I personally doubt it's him.
Why doesn't he move to where you live? Or at least closer to his daughter. Maybe you could move to be closer to him without leaving the state? For now stay where you are and work out another solution.
I wouldn't move to his state,
I wouldn't move to his state, either.
If they have an in in court, you would be at their whim. And, more importantly, so would your baby.
If you want to facilitate a relationship, you might consider moving closer, but not to his state.
And I'd be suspicious of the sudden interest.
Please take care of yourself and your DD.
He is a resident so can't
He is a resident so can't leave for another two years and even then I doubt he will move where I am. It's a big city but he hates it based on prejudice. Yeah that's all true I guess I just feel guilty about being so far away from him when I have his daughter. Like I'm being a bad mom by not doing everything I could to keep them together.
Thank you for your support
Thank you for your support
I greatly appreciate the
I greatly appreciate the caring responses.
What do you mean they have an
What do you mean they have an "in" in the court system? Any judge who knows them or has any affiliation with them would not be able to preside over a custody hearing. Is exDH going to pay your moving costs? Ex works 80+ hrs, has had little to do with his daughter for 7 mos. He'll of course get visitation, custody no, unless you are terribly unfit.
His dad has a powerful
His dad has a powerful position in the town and is constantly working with the city's judges. I have heard from him just in conversation of two different people he helped by contributing $ to the two judges campaign funds and asking for a "favour". Plus, they'd pay for his $100,000 lawyer.. I am simply no match
Sorry, I just don't agree
Sorry, I just don't agree with purposefully moving a child away from a parent just to get a custody advantage and keep them from the other parent unless abuse was involved. I assume your 80+ hr working ex is paying a hefty lump of child support even though you whisked his daughter off to another state. You're complaining that he's not involved in her life yet you took her away from him. How does that work?! PAS much.
Word.....
Word.....
Usually one must live in a
Usually one must live in a place for more than 6 months to establish residency.
If you have been in new state more than 6 months he must file in your state. I would guess he knows this and that is why he wants you to move back.
If you have a parenting plan already file it with new state. If you have no plan yet file in your state now and get a custody order established. Make sure you have an equitable custody plan that offers decent time to him ready for the court.
I wouldn't move back. But I would made sure he did have time with daughter.
Do not move !!!!! This gives
Do not move !!!!! This gives him grounds to sue for primary custody rather then visitation. This is a life change in the child's life. Even if he doesn't end up with custody you could have to stay there for 18 years or lose custody.
Custody is always in flux. That agreement paper will mean nothing in a court of law even if notarized or signed by a judge. They will look at the best interest of the child. Any agreement can be challenged in court - all he has to say is he no longer feels it is best for the child.
There are some great legal advice forums - fair warning some are quite harsh - but no worse then you would hear in court. Take advantage of them. Best of luck to you.