Just need to vent
Oh what a weekend!! So, when SS6 gets here SO notices a scratch on his neck. He asks where he got the scratch, and SS6 says mommy's bf choked him!! Of course this turns into a call to dcf, interviewers at our house, interviews with police and so on. This consumes our entire weekend, and rightfully so. Before SO other called dcf he did call BM and she says it's all a lie. When SO goes to drop the boys off Sunday night BM and SO talked to SS6 together (about freaking time, but explaining would require way more background) and SS6 tells them that it was a lie. Oh my freaking god!
I've already made the decision to leave. BS and I fly out in 2 weeks. I just dont even know what to think anymore. This kid, SS6 has been an out of control, mean, lying, rude, and sometimes even violent kid from the day I met him. I'm disgusting at how he is being raised. I'm sure this whole situation will just be swept under the rug and forgotten about, just like every other situation has been. I've brought up counseling, but I don't see his parents following through.
I'm gone in two weeks and after that it isn't my problem anymore. I dont have to worry about my son being around it anymore. I feel incredibly bad for this child but I can't fix the situation.
Thank you all for such a great site!! At least I know I'm not all out there.
I've brought that up to SO.
I've brought that up to SO. I'm really just at a loss. The kid does lie A LOT, and I know he doesn't like his mom's bf. I know being in that situation is very scary for him. Mommy says he needs to do the right thing and not make up lies. Daddy says its not ok for an adult to put their hands on him like that, and to make it stop he has to tell someone. I think more than anything I'm just astounded at how these situations are dealt, or should I say, not dealt with by the parents. Sadly his mom and her bf have another child together, so he likely won't just walk away.
What a messed up situation... Feel bad for SO but I've had enough.
We actually had the exact
We actually had the exact conversation with him regarding how serious this is. The child and both his parents need to be in counseling and mom and dad need some parenting classes in my opinion.
I just needed to vent and SO is pretty heartbroken over my decision to leave already, especially considering it has a lot to do with his kid as the issues with BM, so talking to him about it is pretty pointless anymore.
Not at all!! I appreciate
Not at all!! I appreciate most input... Better than the blank stares I get at home lol
If he's anything like my SD7,
If he's anything like my SD7, he's exposed to lying constantly. My SD7 lies as easily as she draws breath, and how can she not? Her mother is the biggest liar I've encountered in my entire life. Seriously, I know a few hard core liars, and this woman is impressive. I'm at the point where I will not even let her in my house for fear of what she might leave here and make up.
Sadly, in the 2 years we've
Sadly, in the 2 years we've been together I have never actually met their mother. I've seen her but she walks away from me and gets in her car and drives off. Their dad and her only talk when they absolutely have to and he has literally never said a nice thing about her to me. I know she cheated on him a few times and that's why they aren't together. I honestly think this little boy is playing the adults against each other because he wants his mom and dad together but I say that to anyone else and they look at me like I'm a lunatic. The situation is so sad. I hate that I can't be with him. Aside from not having a backbone he really is an incredible guy. Oh well, I know it isn't going to get better, it's only going to get worse and I don't want to be a part of it.
I almost wish I had the
I almost wish I had the option to move out but still stay close to him. SO is my son's father but my home isn't here. I moved here when we found out I was pregnant because it seemed like the right thing to do, I didn't know his children at the time. Stupid stupid stupid... Fortunately our son is young enough that he won't remember this and SO and I are doing this amicably. We already have plans for him to fly out once a month to see our son.
I can't imagine what SS6 is going to be like in another 10 years. SS4 is actually a really sweet kid, but I don't know how long he is going to stay like that given the influences he is around. I just can't stick around to find out. I am sick to my stomach with worry every time their here and my attempts to push my SO in the direction of getting his son help have fallen on deaf ears. I feel incredibly selfish and in credibly selfless at the same time for my decision to leave. A really awkward feeling lol but I know I don't want my son growing up in this environment. I've got a free ride to finish my degree (that I 'put on hold' to come out here) and an incredibly supportive family back home. I just got to the point where I couldn't justify staying anymore.
I've read so many posts on here and seen very very few that have stayed and still gotten their happily ever after. I don't want to look back in 10 years and wish I had left when I still could.
Does your SO have his son in
Does your SO have his son in any kind of couselling? I know most schools offer couselling services and there are generally community to programs to help parents and children. I don't know where you are but maybe you could try and push SO to get that ball rolling. I mean, if he really doesn't like his dad, it's going to be hard for his dad to make a positive influence on him. I wish you the best!