Jealousy and Keeping Score is Ruining Marriage
We have her 3 bio's full time, the father is not in the picture at all and offers up no financial support either. We have my 15yr old son mostly full time (he is with his mother EOW) and my other two are with me EOW. My wife is extremely jealous of anything that takes my time away from her. My relationship with my two kids, who are with my ex, has suffered because of it. I could write a book with some of the trivial, juvenile, manipulative things she has done. She gets very jealous and pissy when I make any attempt to spend time with my daughter alone, this is the same daughter that I only get to see every other weekend. So this last Saturday was my daughters birthday and I wanted to take her to the mall to buy her clothes (which in my mind I knew was going to start WW3)Basically my daughter told her two daughters Friday evening about (I had not said anything about it yet)and within a few minutes I received a call from a screaming wife that she thought it was bullsh*t that I was taking my daughter and not her two even though her daughters birthdays were both back in early June. She then proceeds to tell me to hold on then hands the phone over to her 9 year old who tells me how rude it is of me to not take her and her sister. So I fold and give in and take all three of them to the mall and everything I buy for my daughter I buy for hers as well. Which in the end takes away from the amount I had to spend on her. Is it unreasonable for a father who does not get to see his kids that much want to spend just a few hours together every once awhile?
Ok, I don't even like my skid
Ok, I don't even like my skid at all nor do I even want him around and even I think that your wife is completely ridiculous!
It is YOUR daughter's bday there is NO REASON WHATSOEVER why you need to take HER 2 daughters and buy them stuff too! That is INSANE! You NEED to stand up to this woman! How dare she put her 9 year old daughter on the phone to DISRESPECT you like that and pretty much demand that you take her and her sister with you on YOUR kids bday and then buy them stuff too that was meant for just your DD!
No offense to you but your wife is a selfish, disrespectful bitch...you deserve better than that!
It sounds to me like your
It sounds to me like your wife should be with someone who doesn't have kids.
It never bothered me for my husband to spend time alone with his daughter and I consider myself kind of selfish. But I am also a secure person and certainly not jealous of my SD and her relationship with her father.
She put her 9 year old on the phone to chastise you? Who does that?
Your wife is an idiot. She
Your wife is an idiot.
She picked a loser to father her children now she wants you to play daddy fill in. :sick:
Her kids are stepkids. You do not have to treat them the same way you treat your biokids.
So what's next? If you purchases cars for your kids or pay for their college education, will the nut expect you to do the same for her entitled brats?
Put an end to this now.
Your kids, your money, your choice.
Eeewwwww....What a
Eeewwwww....What a nutbag!
And the fact that you actually FELL for that shit is even more disturbing.
Sounds like you have some serious shit going down in your house. Sorry to hear that.
You could not be more wrong
You could not be more wrong SM1994. I go out of my not to show my daughter any special attention so I don't upset my wife or her daughters. To the degree that it has affected my relationship with my daughter and has caused me more internal strife, agony resentment that I know how to deal with. But MAN MOTHERF*CK that. Im done. Not for any woman again....
Good for you. Your wife's
Good for you.
Your wife's issues should not impact your relationship with your daughter.
Sorry Robby, I agree. I guess
Sorry Robby, I agree.
I guess though I too am a SM with a DD partner who overindulges his daughter to the point where she is the other woman in my relationship, and yes I do bloody well get pissy and jealous when he takes her special places, makes all the weekend plans with HER and I get told what they are doing oh usually Friday night - and NEVER am I invited along - now I am pretty good about him having time with his kids all three of them together and one on one time with each kid, but we are talking he spends more time on dates with his daughter than making ANY effort with me...
Can you see how a partner might feel disrespected, unloved and put last? Can you see how that would make a partner pissy and jealous?
He also sits and FB's with his daughter when they are not here, so all evening even though he says "but I was sitting on the couch with YOU all night honey" he is actually mentally and emotionally with his daughter not me. It may be my thigh his hand is absentmindedly caressing but it's her he is thinking about and sharing conversation and laughs with.
Is it AT ALL possible you have made your wife feel second to your daughter? In the early days did you set the tone of your relationship by making every effort to make your wife your partner and make her special and loved? Because she didn't turn from the no doubt lovely and loving woman you married into a pissy jealous woman for no reason.
If you REALLY want to fix this you need to have a good hard look at your own behaviours as well. What have YOU done to create this mess? At the end of the day that is the ONLY place you can fix things.
I do not for a second condone what your wife did, I think it was appalling - especially bringing her 9yo into it like that, she has serious issues on her own.
But as I said - you cannot fix or change her, all you can do is look at you - are there things YOU can do (or stop doing) that will help at all.
Also I would try to discuss how you feel with her and the possibility of marriage counselling.
Blending two families is SO fucking hard.
I wish you the best of luck.
Blending families is
Blending families is extremely hard I agree with that. There needs to be logic, reason, balance and compromise when dealing with kids. My wife currently or for that matter has never really had any of those traits. That is just the reality of my situation ladies. She has never allowed or been ok with me having “one on one” time with my kids especially my daughter. I have not showered my daughter with any special attention, toys, gifts, money etc…it just hasn’t happened. Like I said earlier I have gone out of my way to not do those things because of the repercussions and the end result of that is my relationship with my daughter has suffered because of it. Her kids live with us full time and I provide for them financially with no support from their sperm donor. So in my opinion if I want to spend 2 hrs at the mall with my daughter for her birthday it should be ok, I wasn’t going to buy her a pony or a new BMW. Just clothes. Finding the right balance to blend families is important but also maintaining the bond with your own BIO’s is important and every step should get that and allow that. Because if not it creates resentment and anger.
Robby, you NEED to grow a
Robby, you NEED to grow a backbone and stand up to your wife. Reading your post made me think you were talking about my SM.
My father always caved into his wife when it came to forfeiting time spent with my brother and I. You are hurting your relationship with your daughter. She will come to resent you. I have no relationship with my father to this day and I'm 35.
Please, for the sake of your relationship with your child - put your wife in her place now. She's out of line, abusive, and completely inappropriate.
THIS This man is supporting
THIS
This man is supporting her brats 24/7, yet she has t
he gall to bitch about him spending time/money with/on his kid.
Who does that???? :? :?
Her kids are his stepkids.
Her kids are his stepkids. Of course their birthdays will mean less to him than his biokid's. :?
I bet anything his wife doesn't treat his kids equal to her kids.
Sorry, but I don't think the
Sorry, but I don't think the SF you know did anything wrong by paying for lessons for just his kids. His SK's mom could have done the same for her kids.
I happen to like my SKs, but there's no way they will ever be on equal footing in terms of time and money with my son. Hell, they aren't even on equal footing with my nieces and nephews.