Jealous :(
DH ex has been spoiled her whole life and is a very selfish person 
All I ever wanted was to be a different step mom and truly be there for the kids. I always told them to give their mom hugs when we picked them up, and tried to have open communication with her. She just kept taking advantage of me and being so ungreatful that it hurt. She found out that dh and I were getting married and she was dating a guy for 2 years so she made sure to "beat us to the altar" and got married 5 days before my husband and I. Every time we find something the boys like, she goes and gets them the same thing but bigger... I don't want to compete, I can't stand the sound of her name and sometimes resent the boys because they are hers.... I don't want those feelings, I generally get along with everyone....why does it always have to be so hard?
I know, sometimes it just
I know, sometimes it just feels plain rubbish. It might be useful to think about her life and what it must mean that she is always trying to play catch up. Maybe you'll start to feel sorry for her instead of angry. You have something she never will - security. You're secure enough to know you don't need to buy the kids the biggest and best to ensure they love you. As you said, you're there for them when they need it and more importantly -you provide stability. Think about how her partner must feel - (can you imagine what it'd be like if YOUR partner wanted to arrange the marriage date around his exe's? What a fun relationship to be in...) It's normal to resent step kids for the parent they represent, but each time that feeling overwhelms you, take a deep breath and remember what kind of parent she must be; imagine (if you need to) what it must be like to know your mum cares about herself than you. To know you'll never come first. I can guarantee they feel that way, even if they don't know it.
Its not easy to feel pity rather than anger, but if you try a few times it starts to become how you really feel. It always helps me to remember that
a life lived selfishly is a life that has missed the point.
That and wine. Wine helps immensely:)
Delilah
www.howtolivewithaliens.blogspot.com
DH's ex measures her
DH's ex measures her self-worth against everybody else. She has to have the big house and the fancy car. When DH and I got married, (eloped at the courthouse) she was engaged within weeks, and had a big flashy wedding within six months. As long as she has more, better, bigger, STUFF than us, she feels like she wins.
But guess what? I win.
I have the man who loves me. I have the job stability. I have what I need, without any worries about how we're going to pay for it. And even though BM may look down her nose at us and our standard of living... the following is an excerpt from an email SD15 sent me:
"You know I love ya,Ms. Trish. Every time we get together I see how well you treat me and do your best at being a mom (which is really good, by the way)."
So? In all things important, I will.
My DS's SM accused me of
My DS's SM accused me of "having" to get married when I got hitched to my wonderful DH about five months after she and my XH were married. Never mind that SM fell pregnant within five months of dating XH... I, OTOH, was NOT pregnant and we did it on the spur on the moment. It was incredibly romantic.
Now WHO HAD to get married? Hmmmm...
Our BM got married one month
Our BM got married one month after we did. But, I think it was more because she was found in contempt for having her kids with her boyfriend, and it was either get married, get out of his house, or lose the kids. Funny thing, she lost custody despite getting married LMAO!! Not funny... more sick. But, I gotta laugh at something, so...