It's complicated.... To say the least
Ok so I am an active duty soldier right now. I was training for an Afghanistan deployment and while I was away my soon to be ex lost it. She lost it and cps came in and took our kids.. My two daughters are my heart.. And to say the least I'm pretty torn up about it. I am in the process of getting my baby girls back soon. It's caused a lot of issues with me being awya for so long and just the situation in general is heartbreaking. I am now currently dating someone and things are getting pretty serious. She has two boys. They are so whiney and bad it drives me INSANE. my girls are so well behaved and mannered it just boggles me. So here I am spending all day everyday working to get my girls back and meanwhile having to deal with her kids. It's still early on in the relationship and she seems like she's a good mom but she also gas issues with their behavior. I try to do my best to discipline them and teach them to behave and not to lie ... They can't do anything for themselves at all I'm just trying to figure out if this is something I should get myself into. Her kids are bad and she's isn't exactly an amazing mom she often times sys I can't do this anymore I never should have been a mother... Stuff like that. I feel like my girls deserve a world class mom.. Their BM Is absolute shit. Awful awful person anyway comment as you see fit
If you're looking for a woman
If you're looking for a woman to play mommy to your girls, you're making a big mistake. Your girls have a mother.
YES!!!! Why not just hire a
YES!!!!
Why not just hire a nanny?
Just to clarify the BM is a
Just to clarify the BM is a drug addicted prostitute ... Literally...
My definition of world class mom may be different then yours.. I feel, as I'm out shopping for the holidays listed in to these kids whine about what they want and crying and being spoiled. I feel guilty. It wasn't my fault my kids were taken. But instead of spending this time with MY Girls I'm pissed off I'm chasing brats around who are ungrateful of anything done for then
Stay tuned as I am reading the rest of your posts while shaking my head at these wild kids at target lol
I'm having trouble. Because
I'm having trouble. Because I can't decipher if I'm being to critical and overly cautious. She works and supports her kids
I'm not sure what you're
I'm not sure what you're thinking starting another relationship when you have to work to get your girls back. It sounds like you have moved in? BAD idea. And your choice in women doesn't seem to be a positive character trait. I'd go solo for a while. Maybe until you are finished raising your girls.
I'm not sure what I'm
I'm not sure what I'm thinking exactly. I don't want to be single right now because honestly. The single life is a bit too much for me. And I would really like to make an effort to connect with someone. And she's great she really is great to me. But those kids. I just. I don't know. I feel like I'm wasting my time, pondering whether or not I can actually keep putting up with this . yes I'm moved in.. And honestly it's been like... A month. Fast I know. But if having issues already is that just a shock to my system or a red flag.
What exactly should I be looking for? My daughter's mother is not going to be in their life. Her choice not mine. They deserve a mother.. Ever child does. So do I look for someone and then say hey! Wanna be a mom? It's ridiculous.. I have to spend so much time invested into someone only to find out they won't work out. Am I being shallow? Is it wrong that I want someone very attractive. Sane. And good mother? Does that exist. #Frustrated
What is my smartest way of going about this.
I want someone who is going to love and take care of my daughter's along side me. Is that wrong?
And if I don't see that in her.. I should end it.. Right?
You are young and ready to
You are young and ready to settle because the "single life is a bit too much for you". How did that work out for you the first time?
That is not what's best for you or YOUR KIDS.
You should end it with this woman, work on yourself and your children, and worry about finding a love interest later .. when your life is in order and settled. You don't even have physical custody of your children right now and you're trying to find a new mom for them?
There are many grea mothers
There are many grea mothers out there. That does not mean they want to play mommy to someone else's kids.
You will have trouble dating because you aren't wired to just look for a spouse.
You keep saying what you want. What about your kids? Do they want to replace their mom? What will you do if you find someone willing to play mommy fill in and your girls give her hell?
Just because you're ready to move on and replace your soon to be exwife, doesn't mean your girls are ready to take that step.
You really need to slow down and stop thinking about what you want. Instead, think about how your choices will impact your children.
I'm not sure what I'm
I'm not sure what I'm thinking exactly. I don't want to be single right now because honestly. The single life is a bit too much for me. And I would really like to make an effort to connect with someone. And she's great she really is great to me. But those kids. I just. I don't know. I feel like I'm wasting my time, pondering whether or not I can actually keep putting up with this . yes I'm moved in.. And honestly it's been like... A month. Fast I know. But if having issues already is that just a shock to my system or a red flag.
What exactly should I be looking for? My daughter's mother is not going to be in their life. Her choice not mine. They deserve a mother.. Ever child does. So do I look for someone and then say hey! Wanna be a mom? It's ridiculous.. I have to spend so much time invested into someone only to find out they won't work out. Am I being shallow? Is it wrong that I want someone very attractive. Sane. And good mother? Does that exist. #Frustrated
What is my smartest way of going about this.
I want someone who is going to love and take care of my daughter's along side me. Is that wrong?
And if I don't see that in her.. I should end it.. Right?
Sry kinda long
Sry kinda long
The girls deserve to have a
The girls deserve to have a parent 100% committed to their development and security. The last thing you need is to bring them into this situation, that not even you are happy with. Even if you are with the perfect person for you, it does not mean it will be a positive experience for your girls. Read on this forum for a while. I get the feeling you just want someone to do the dirty parenting work so you can be the fun parent. Otherwise, why so insistent that they have a mom NOW? Right now they need to feel secure in you as their father. Are you going to be deployed again? Do you have family near? These are the things you should be concerned with, not moving in with someone to replace their mom.
I'm not overly concerned with
I'm not overly concerned with finding them a mom. I just want to make their transition home as painless as possible... No deployments.. I'm getting out I am a disabled vet. I have no family nearby. The main reason I posted was more so about my girls kids. I feel like bringing my kids near them is gonna make them bratty by contagen... Jk. Anyway how do I know if I should get out or keep trying to help get these kids in gear
Not your kids, not your
Not your kids, not your problem. Get your children, get out of the military, and move closer to your family and support system.
LOL when you start posting
LOL when you start posting here, it's probably time to start finding an exit strategy! How does your gf respond if you give the boys any direction/discipline? Does she support you and appreciate it? Or does she give you the evil eye and a slap on the back of the head? How far you will get with them is dependent on how receptive she is to your input.
I don't think you respect
I don't think you respect her. Don't stay with her just because you don't want to be alone. This won't work.