I’m very happy that I stumbled on this web site as reading some of the posts here really gave me a good perspective on my situation. The reason why I’m writing this is because I want to get a solid advice from seasoned SP as I’m in a situation where I can either run for the hills or stay and dig my own grave. I’m 27 years old, divorced and do not have any children. My BF (together for almost 2 years) is 31 and has a son (8). My BF and the BM (who has 4 children by 3 different dads and is a welfare trash) broke up shortly after she got pregnant. When my BF and I first met I told him that I’m recently separated, have no children and that I’m not looking to date single parents. So he told me that he DOESN’T have any children and lied to me about it for 2 months. When he finally confessed I was furious and was going to leave him. He broke down in tears and begged for a chance because his BM “trapped him,” he got stuck with a kid “he never asked for” and deserves to be happy, get married and have children with a wife. He told me that he has his kid every other weekend, the kid lives over an hour away and that I will never have to meet him or deal with him if I don’t want to because he will be a “bf to me” and a “dad to him.” Being the naïve person that I am I agreed to stick around and see what it is like and spent the next 2 years regretting not walking away from the situation.
Two weeks after the revelation my BF informed me that I HAD to meet his son. I wasn’t ready to meet his kid nor did I want to but he told me either meet him or hit the road. Instead of taking my exit point and run, stupidly I agreed to meet his kid. It did not feel right because I wasn’t ready for that step and the kid and I did not connect AT ALL. Then a short while later My BF told me that I had to “love him as my own, treat him as my own, be like a mother to him and take a bullet for him” (but I have NO SAY when it comes to discipline) Then I was informed that I had to be present every time the SS is visiting and spend time with him (so if I had plans that did not agree with the visit they had to be cancelled because apparently, me who has no children, had to adjust to a single parent custody schedule???? ). Then my BF told me that as soon as we move in together he will get his son to live with us because now he will have a woman to take care of his kid (I DON’T THINK SO). Let me tell you about this kid… I have NOTHING in common with him because he is not your typical innocent little boy. All the kid does is play X box ALL DAY LONG… my BF lets him play R rated inappropriate and violent video games (like Grand Theft Auto), the kid has a mohawk, wears his jeans around his knees like a little punk, flunks school (he is in grade two, barely reads, can’t write, can’t grasp simple math and doesn’t speak English properly), wears T shirts that say “How can I get better in video games if I have to go to school every day”, wets the bed (or as my BF calls it “accidents”), he is a spoiled little brat (wears all designer expensive labels, has every piece of electronics ever invented… not bad for a welfare kid, huh?), has no table manners, embarrassing in public, on Christmas he threw the presents his grandparents bought for him in their faces because it was “not his style” (they were age appropriate games). I walked out on my BF several times because he doesn’t seem to grasp that I don’t owe ANYTHING to his kid, absolutely not obligated to love him because his is NOT mine, will NEVER allow that little brat to live with us (unless his welfare mom died), and will not WASTE my weekends on watching that kid playing X BOX for 14 hours a day. As it stands now I haven’t seen the kid in 4 months because I stay away from my BF when the kid is around, and there was also some baby momma drama so my BF can’t have him every other weekend anymore (which I’m happy about). I put my foot down in regards to that kid and my BF was re-educated about my role in that relationship and the kids life (I have VERY minimal to no involvement at this point). My BF and I are at the point of buying a house together and I need to decide whether I will stick around or run while I have a chance and I’m not attached to him financially. I’m young and successful and still have options and would like to get some perspective on the situation. PLEASE HELP!

P.S this is only a glimpse into how miserable I was, how many fights my BF and I went through and the drama I was sucked into with his baby momma.