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I'm officially Jabba's "Love Guru"? WTF????

Bubbly1's picture

On my way to work yesterday, Jabba starts texting how friends are trying to hook her up with a date tonight. She's not interested, she's been hurt, blah, blah, blah.
Then Jabba proceeds to ask ME what I did to "land" Dh. Huh? Did she seriously just ask for dating advise??? Ummm, yeah she did.
SOOO, I told her wear her ugliest panties, do not shave her legs, and act like a bitch!!! Lmfao!!! Our conversation went like this:

Jabba-"I was planning on the no shave/ugly panty thing. You really acted like a bitch??"

Me- "yeah I acted all stuck up and bitchy"

Jabba- So that's what you think I should do?"

Me- yeah, works like a charm, something about men, they like having to work harder for it"

Jabba- "Thanks girl, I'll let you know how it goes"

OMG!!! Let me refresh every ones mental pic of Jabba. 5'8, 350lbs, Ronald McDonald hair! Ugly as homemade sin! Kankles(no ankles, just fat) her double chin has a double chin!!! Playing hard to get? She needs all the help she can get!!! Acting AND Looking like psycho bitch isn't gonna help, darlin'!!!

Am I going straight to hell??? Was I completely evil?? This is the woman who tells her kids to wreck my house/things, call me names, steal from me. I figured this was as close to payback as I'd get!!!

jadedprincess's picture

BAHAHAHAHA!!! LOVE IT!! I CONSTANTLY GET TOLD IM GOING TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET SO I GUESS WE WILL BE THERE TOGETHER LMFAO!!!! SORRY FOR ALL CAPS KEYBOARD IS F'D UP

Bubbly1's picture

Mazzy, she was dead serious!!! Its an hour and a half commute for me, I laughed my ass off the whole way to work!!!!! Bwahaaaaa!!!!

Jaded, Guess I'll see ya there!!!

Roarin1's picture

Maybe you should have suggested she wear a tummy shirt and some skinny jeans...

Bubbly1's picture

Mazzy I Love Your signature!!!

Roarin, Damn! Why didn't I think of that!!??