I've been w/ my boyfriend a couple years. I saved up to take a class but now we need the money to pay our bills becaues he said he would pay his ex-wife more alimony. I'm so PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, Nice reasoning on his part. BF, meet curb. Deuces.
That really blows. Is it your money too? If so, I would spend that shizz before he can get it to her. Just sayin'.
Why are you letting a man treat you so poorly? I don't know you at all but I can guarantee that you can do better. Everyone deserves a caring individual that does not try to use and abuse them.
That's what my friends say. WE've been together 7 years. He has a son, just over 7 years. I raised this kid. So I guess you could say we're married but we're not. Boyfriend is spending all his income paying off his bitch ex. means I have to pay rent, gas, groceries by myself. There goes my class money! I don't have a choice. Boyfriends money is gone and we have to live on somehting.
Sister-friend. That's the thing. YOU do have a choice.
You are not married to this guy and he's not meeting his financial obligations to your household. You are supporting him.
I highly recommend a few things. Open up a checking account in your name and start depositing your checks there. Start saving your money. Find a one bedroom or studio apartment for yourself. Plan your exit strategy. Get some counseling.
You've been allowing this man to use you and your money for 7 years. Only you can stop the pattern and the only way to do that is move out and end the relationship.
He chose to throw money at his ex, if you are doing all this on your own, kick him out and find someone who won't always fall back on your income. Real men do not ask their current to pay for every thing so he can keep providing for his ex, if he wants to provide for her so damn badly he can go back to her and you can take that class and find a man with class.
They have nothing in writing, they were never married, son was a mistake. I don't get what's going on with his stupid ex. I don't want to. That bitch asked for more money and boyfriend said sure. Now were broke
Why are you calling the ex stupid? All she did was ask. Your boyfriend is the one who agreed. He agreed because he knows he can dump his financial responsibilities on you and you will focus your anger on the ex instead of on him.
I know I'm being used thats why I"M PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!! he's already working 60 hours a week. what am I supposed to do, tkae the class not pay our rent and get evicted? the class is next month, were screwed. the money is spent.
I know my boyfriend screwed me but he also had to sell his guitars and one of his bikes so he says he's giving up a lot too. he makes me feel like I have no reason to be mad, he said he has to pay his ex thats just the way it is and he gets pissed if i bring it up.
You are making excuses for his poor behavior and decisions and in the end, you will be the one who loses everything in the end; your savings, a place to live and possibly your man. It makes no sense why he is paying her alimony when they were never married nor was he court ordered to do so.
By they way, a child is NOT a mistake. A child is a blessing. The only mistake was your BF having sex with his ex.
It's his son, it was him that knocked up the ex. Of course he has to make sacrifices, these are his problems. You should really get away from him, he's going to continue to do it and then call you the selfish bitch. You don't deserve that.
Put his ass out. Continue to date if you want, but force him to support himself. Once the real world starts to luck his ass, he'll run to the court to have CS set at a rate he can afford.
Right now he's making dumb choices because he knows you will pick up the slack.
Well your bf seems to of decided your place for you huh? Now the question is are you accepting that position? You have a choice he goes without, he can go without a cell phone, a car and car ins (public transportation for him) he can go without cable, and food beyond bare necessities. While you continue on with your future.
He's gonna drag you down and you're going to let him no CO, no actual legal binding he has to pay her jack shit nope he's giving money away, I could use some too since he doesn't apparently want any.
I'd be handing him two choices #1 He will not give BM a dime more than what the state would make him in CS, e gets that in a legally binding CO or
#2 he gets his walking papers.
JWow, sounds like she's supporting a man-child, the child & the woman-child! No paperwork filed? Sold his guitar to give money to ex? Are we still in the 70's?? Or living in the Blue Lagoon??
This is making me feel stabby. I really want to know where to come find this douche bag so I can throat punch him for you.
Jesus girl - pull up your big girl panties! Time to realize you are being USED.
he's mad when you bring it up? he should be effin' ASHAMED that he has treated you so poorly.
But he won't - because he's figured out that you'll take whatever scraps he throws your way. You'll roll over and hand him another wad of cash next month "because SS needs shoes" or some dumb thing.
I'm sorry, just sick over this bullshit. OP - if you're going to continue to allow this man to use you, there's nothing more any of us can say to help or change your situation.
He doesn't HAVE to pay alimony because they were never married. He's just being mister nice guy because he has a live in ATM that he gets to sleep with.
So here's my question: Is the EX really his EX or are you his mistress? I ask because he's acting like she's the WIFE/GF and you are the mistress. Her home is first, child or no child, no man should be just willingly giving over money, seriously.
Has the child been around you? Are you sure your BF isn't paying BM to appease her since she found out he's with you?
In your headline it states that you are not a stepmom. Your BF has a son but you don't consider him your step son. So, BF isn't considered your husband, and he's basically handing over his paycheck and his guitar *eye roll* and then says your selfish because he's had to give up something.
I bet not his education, I bet nothing that furthers him in life. No he only expects you to give that up. Why? That kid is not yours to sacrifice more, his ex isn't your problem and neither is the fact that she wants more money. What is your problem is that you man who claims to love you made you give up something else you worked for so you could pay all his bills for him because he's to worried about paying his exes bills.
RUN!!!
Welcome to the "wonderful"
Welcome to the "wonderful" world of being with a man with BAGGAGE!!! :sick:
If it doesn't kill us here's hoping it makes us stronger!!!
Yeah, Nice reasoning on his
Yeah, Nice reasoning on his part. BF, meet curb. Deuces.
That really blows. Is it your money too? If so, I would spend that shizz before he can get it to her. Just sayin'.
Key words - YOU saved up
Key words - YOU saved up money for YOU to take a class but now HE needs money to pay HIS ex wife?
Honey, I'm not going to point out all of the things wrong with this scenario.
You need to find yourself a new boyfriend, period.
YUP yup yup! No way in hell.
YUP yup yup!
No way in hell.
Not cool, he agreed to this
Not cool, he agreed to this debt, not you. Take your class and let him figure it out.
This is why you need to keep
This is why you need to keep seperate finances. Pay your portion of the bills and let him figure out where to get the money for the ex-wife.
So...he automatically assumes
So...he automatically assumes you will pick up any financial slack? Hell no! Take your class and improve yourself.
Why are you letting a man
Why are you letting a man treat you so poorly? I don't know you at all but I can guarantee that you can do better. Everyone deserves a caring individual that does not try to use and abuse them.
That's what my friends say.
That's what my friends say. WE've been together 7 years. He has a son, just over 7 years. I raised this kid. So I guess you could say we're married but we're not. Boyfriend is spending all his income paying off his bitch ex. means I have to pay rent, gas, groceries by myself. There goes my class money! I don't have a choice. Boyfriends money is gone and we have to live on somehting.
Sister-friend. That's the
Sister-friend. That's the thing. YOU do have a choice.
You are not married to this guy and he's not meeting his financial obligations to your household. You are supporting him.
I highly recommend a few things. Open up a checking account in your name and start depositing your checks there. Start saving your money. Find a one bedroom or studio apartment for yourself. Plan your exit strategy. Get some counseling.
You've been allowing this man to use you and your money for 7 years. Only you can stop the pattern and the only way to do that is move out and end the relationship.
You do have a choice. You're
You do have a choice. You're making the choice to allow your boyfriend to use you.
He chose to throw money at
He chose to throw money at his ex, if you are doing all this on your own, kick him out and find someone who won't always fall back on your income. Real men do not ask their current to pay for every thing so he can keep providing for his ex, if he wants to provide for her so damn badly he can go back to her and you can take that class and find a man with class.
They have nothing in writing,
They have nothing in writing, they were never married, son was a mistake. I don't get what's going on with his stupid ex. I don't want to. That bitch asked for more money and boyfriend said sure. Now were broke
Why are you calling the ex
Why are you calling the ex stupid? All she did was ask. Your boyfriend is the one who agreed. He agreed because he knows he can dump his financial responsibilities on you and you will focus your anger on the ex instead of on him.
I know I'm being used thats
I know I'm being used thats why I"M PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!! he's already working 60 hours a week. what am I supposed to do, tkae the class not pay our rent and get evicted? the class is next month, were screwed. the money is spent.
Well your SO is the one who
Well your SO is the one who screwed you. He chose to give another woman money and left you in a position that you could get evicted.
Think about that. Use your brain and find a better man who will not screw you over.
Kick his ass out. Pay your
Kick his ass out.
Pay your bills.
Apply for financial aid and/or loans to cover your class.
I know my boyfriend screwed
I know my boyfriend screwed me but he also had to sell his guitars and one of his bikes so he says he's giving up a lot too. he makes me feel like I have no reason to be mad, he said he has to pay his ex thats just the way it is and he gets pissed if i bring it up.
This exactly.
This exactly.
Amen
Amen
You are making excuses for
You are making excuses for his poor behavior and decisions and in the end, you will be the one who loses everything in the end; your savings, a place to live and possibly your man. It makes no sense why he is paying her alimony when they were never married nor was he court ordered to do so.
By they way, a child is NOT a mistake. A child is a blessing. The only mistake was your BF having sex with his ex.
It's his son, it was him that
It's his son, it was him that knocked up the ex. Of course he has to make sacrifices, these are his problems. You should really get away from him, he's going to continue to do it and then call you the selfish bitch. You don't deserve that.
Put his ass out. Continue to
Put his ass out. Continue to date if you want, but force him to support himself. Once the real world starts to luck his ass, he'll run to the court to have CS set at a rate he can afford.
Right now he's making dumb choices because he knows you will pick up the slack.
If there's nothing in writing
If there's nothing in writing from a Court, then no, he doesn't have to pay her freaking anything. He's Choosing to. Kick his ass the hell out.
Please tell me your BF is not
Please tell me your BF is not the brains of this operation. Does he have a "thing" for his ex? Or does he just have man marbles for brains?
Well your bf seems to of
Well your bf seems to of decided your place for you huh? Now the question is are you accepting that position? You have a choice he goes without, he can go without a cell phone, a car and car ins (public transportation for him) he can go without cable, and food beyond bare necessities. While you continue on with your future.
He's gonna drag you down and you're going to let him no CO, no actual legal binding he has to pay her jack shit nope he's giving money away, I could use some too since he doesn't apparently want any.
I'd be handing him two choices #1 He will not give BM a dime more than what the state would make him in CS, e gets that in a legally binding CO or
#2 he gets his walking papers.
JWow, sounds like she's
JWow, sounds like she's supporting a man-child, the child & the woman-child! No paperwork filed? Sold his guitar to give money to ex? Are we still in the 70's?? Or living in the Blue Lagoon??
Agree. She may even be able
Agree. She may even be able to afford butter for her toast if she gets rid of the amoeba.
This is making me feel
This is making me feel stabby. I really want to know where to come find this douche bag so I can throat punch him for you.
Jesus girl - pull up your big girl panties! Time to realize you are being USED.
he's mad when you bring it up? he should be effin' ASHAMED that he has treated you so poorly.
But he won't - because he's figured out that you'll take whatever scraps he throws your way. You'll roll over and hand him another wad of cash next month "because SS needs shoes" or some dumb thing.
Get out now.
LOL Stepmonster. Throat
LOL Stepmonster. Throat punch. LOLOL
I'm sorry, just sick over
I'm sorry, just sick over this bullshit. OP - if you're going to continue to allow this man to use you, there's nothing more any of us can say to help or change your situation.
I would slap my DH across the
I would slap my DH across the face 6 times if he pulled this shit with me.
He doesn't HAVE to pay
He doesn't HAVE to pay alimony because they were never married. He's just being mister nice guy because he has a live in ATM that he gets to sleep with.
two words: separate
two words: separate finances.
So here's my question: Is the
So here's my question: Is the EX really his EX or are you his mistress? I ask because he's acting like she's the WIFE/GF and you are the mistress. Her home is first, child or no child, no man should be just willingly giving over money, seriously.
Has the child been around you? Are you sure your BF isn't paying BM to appease her since she found out he's with you?
I'd wonder, Just saying. :jawdrop:
In your headline it states
In your headline it states that you are not a stepmom. Your BF has a son but you don't consider him your step son. So, BF isn't considered your husband, and he's basically handing over his paycheck and his guitar *eye roll* and then says your selfish because he's had to give up something.
I bet not his education, I bet nothing that furthers him in life. No he only expects you to give that up. Why? That kid is not yours to sacrifice more, his ex isn't your problem and neither is the fact that she wants more money. What is your problem is that you man who claims to love you made you give up something else you worked for so you could pay all his bills for him because he's to worried about paying his exes bills.
RUN!!!