My DH knows. And he understands it. I can tell him just about anything, it's nice.

It's not so much the "feelings about skids" but the feelings about how the bioparents DON'T parent.

my fiance knows full well i dislike his daughter (13) for the following reasons:

behavior
attitude
treatment of him/me
lack of table manners
clothing choices
lies/deceitful attitude
the fact she's spoiled

he agrees on the majority but yet is in denial that some things are a problem and he loves to give the line of "im working on it" or "she's gotten better" (no you arent and no she hasnt!)

Oh hell to the yes ~ HE knows !!

Her narcissistic ways are putrid !! Her self entitlement and lack of feelings for others , drug infested life style. Her bullying and manipulative ways are horrid.
Butttt ... She falls from that apple tree !

Problem is ~ that he was constantly fighting a losing battle ~ tried to put her on track but Tinkerdouche would undo everything he tried. So now he n Tinkerdouche have created a nightmare I present to society Veruca Salt !!! ~ sorry we tried our best.

He still craves a relationship with her but like a Viking funeral I put that idea of relationship with her on that boat and lit it on fire !

My DH knows exactly how I feel, the good, the bad and the ugly! Funny enough, he feels the same way. We love and care about SS15, but we're both fed up with the lying and the laziness. We hate how he shows no emotion toward anyone in our household and can't seem to be bothered with any of us. We hate how he's becoming BM's little foot soldier more and more and more.

I don't hold back! I'm the Queen. I speak my mind. LOL!

My DH knows how I feel and why. He understands.

I have told my DH numerous times in a nice way and not so nice way.

Sorry buddy if you didnt procreate with a dumbass (BM) and both of you raise your kids the way you did, we wouldnt have a problem.

But since you wanted to suck at parenting...wellllll.... look at your end result...

And me being the type of person I am, I must say what is on my mind....

My Dh knows exactly how I feel and agrees....
this is why....
Teenage Stepchildren
Long post and I apologize in advance...

Been w/ DH since 2006 and knew he was CP of boys ages 9/10 yrs old. This b/c BM ex meth user AND was and is still w/ man who did prison time for domestic violence against her. I love kids... have 4 adult bios I raised as single mom. All 4 are well adjusted, accomplished and successful. I knew there would be adjustments/struggles, but thought "hey I can do this!'

Boy was I ever dumb and completely naive! DH also has 12 yo son from another BM...DH is not currently CP.

The honeymoon period was ok. BM to our faces said I was great...yada yada yada...but little did I know she and her crazy family were undermining me from day one! Telling them they didn't have to listen to me b/c I'm not their mom. SS's had sporadic visitation w/her but talked on phone often enough. I did everything for those boys just as I did for bios...active in school/sports activities. Took them to all practices and attended all games... Dr's appts etc BM would show up once in a while. Bios accepted them into their lives as well.....we did all things as family together.

DH got custody just before we got together...they were living w/ grandma...and she had no structure...did everything for them. Had to teach them about chores, being a part of a family etc...I'm sure you get the idea. It was tough no doubt about it!

Fast forward to last year or so...older SS turned 18 in December 2013 and felt he didn't have to follow rules anymore. Things came to a head w/him in February this year. He got angry w/ us b/c we told him he had to get a job...all he was doing was sitting around house all day on social media...he actually took a swing at his dad so out the door he went! Let me explain my DH and SS's are big!! Not fat just very large folks!! DH is 6'2 275lbs...18 yo 6'2 250lbs and 17 yo 6'2 325lbs.

Now about 17 yo SS...he has issues...had him in counseling and under care of psychiatrist since 2011 after expressing suicidal ideations. Seemed to be doing better.
About ten months ago he gets a GF. I didn't care for this girl from beginning..just gut instinct but my instincts turned out ever so true! His attitude towards me got ugly when we sat him down to talk about it he said it was b/c I didn't like GF. He went on to tell me she 'needs' him b/c she's a cutter and threatens suicide if she can't 'be' w/him! Even w/out my 32 yrs experience as mental health care provider I knew this was not healthy for him!

Well he snuck out and stayed night at her house...I woke up early and called him immediately and he wouldn't answer. So DH and I called GF and told her to bring him home...SS doesn't have DL ...GF refused. She had just moved few days prior and we didn't have new address so when DH demanded her address she continued to argue saying "I will bring him home after we hang out" By this time I'm about ready to have a damn aneurism! DH told her to bring him home or we are calling law enforcement and reporting her for parental interference/kidnapping. This girl is 17 as well. When she brought him home we informed her in no uncertain terms she is no longer allowed at/in our home for her blatant disrespect...this little hussy told ME I'm the problem and in her house parents have to earn her respect and I haven't earned hers!! Took every damn ounce of self control not to beat the shit out of her!

Well last week little shit snuck out again and we were waiting for him when he tried to sneak back in. DH and I sat him down and told him it's simple...follow the rules of our home or there's the damn door!

So SS waits until his dad leaves for work and proceeds to tell me I better not ever tell him what he can and can't do or he'll 'go off on me and it won't be pretty'...he then in a very calm voice tells me he sleeps w/his door locked and knives under his bed b/c he 'knows' I try to come onto his room at night and try to inject him w/air to kill him so one of these days he's going to kill me first. 12 yo ss was here for visit and I realized at this point I was no longer dealing w/angry rebellious teen but a kid w/ paranoid delusional thoughts!

I immediately took 12 yo SS and myself to neighbors for safety called DH and he said babe call law enforcement told him I'm already there...called law enforcement explained I needed welfare check b/c this kid obviously met criteria for 5150 hold...danger to self/others. DH as a courtesy calls BM to let her know her kid is in some serious emotional trouble and needs help. (he's kicking his own ass seven ways to sunday for ever making that call!) So BM calls psycho GF and they both called law enforcement on ME saying I emotionally/physically abuse this kid! DH and I did not know this at the time.

Dh is at this point rushing home from work and as I'm waiting outside neighbors GF comes speeding down street jumps out of car rushes up on me screaming 'what did you do to him?!' Just then 7 deputies roll up and female officer starts listening to 17 yo GF and proceeds to unholster her weapon and orders ME on the ground!! Thank god my DH got there just as this was happening and told other deputies what was really going on! Deputies told female officer to stand down and proceeded inside to talk to SS.

They sat him down and SS admitted to saying everything but b/c he was calm and said he didn't feel that way right then and there they couldn't place him on hold. But they did read him the riot act and told him your dad is a better man than us b/c if you ever said that shit to any of our wives we'd beat the shit out of you...but they said your dad's a big dude and he'd probably maim you! They then proceeded to tell him there's the door so they waited for BM to pick him up.

The drama doesn't end here...psycho BM#1 then contacts psycho BM#2 (of 12 yo) via FB and proceeds to tell her I'm crazy and her son is not safe w/me. So BM#2 hauls DH into court on ex parte hearing...judge dismissed it right away b/c DH has been in court/mediation w/this psycho b/c she refuses to follow court ordered visitation. Perfect example of PAS!!! Judge and mediator told her she's going to lose custody if she keeps this shit up!!

I was having tech issues w/ this site....I adore pretty much all of you...you guys ROCK!!!! Well anyhow needed some support and to vent and made HUGE mistake of going to Cafe Mom!! They are psycho nazis!!! They called me evil and a lot of other things and said thank god those poor babies are no longer in my care!

For about 2 seconds I actually started doubting myself...then my brain kicked in and said hell no...!

My god what is this world coming to when some ppl think it's ok for a kid to hurt ppl?!?!

And to top it off BM of 17 yo didn't even take her OWN kid home...she took him to GF's and that's where he is now...but ya she's SOOOO worried about her baby!
Had to change locks b/c GF had a key w/out us knowing about it!

Pls someone tell me I'm not crazy!!

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My DH knows and fully supports me. He and his kids had a mutual disengaging. We will not likely ever see them again in our lives.

Quite frankly I told my husband today, "your daughter doesn't like me and I don't like her!" End of story! I have tried multiple times to help him with her, spending time with her talking to her etc. All she does is continue to be passive aggressive and refuse to take any instruction from me, so I told him I am done! Today he tried coming to me hugging on me and telling me his is sorry. I told him the damage is already done, I am done with the child stuff, I will be courteous when she is with me and that is it! I have had enough and he knows clearly how I feel. I have tried to avoid contact with her today, he noticed it! He is not happy but he made his bed and now he has to lay in it! I told him how I honestly feel now and don't care how he takes it. I am tired of beating my head up against a brick wall!

I definitely do not feel any need to "make everyone happy" in my step family because I feel we all have such different goals. We can all pursue our happiness perfectly well in separate clusters, but not as a united team. On the other hand my DH thinks it is possible to be a merry little group and therefore that difference in our understanding of what is possible, makes him very unhappy. So yes, it's not nice for him but I would not be able to hide my feelings from him. The best approach for me is just not to discuss the two skids that I don't like unless absolutely essential, so that he does not have to constantly face the reality of my uninterest in them. I'd love for it to be different between us, but it's the best compromise I can think of.

He knows how I feel, I always tell him how I feel and it's mostly all negative. Then I have to fake like I actually like him around the grandparents. I'm tired of all the crying from him. We don't know what goes on at BM's house so that's most of the battle in our home when ss12 is here. We were just discussing last night that ss12 must trash the place everyday and she just cleans up after him after she gets home from work.

He doesn't know the extent of my feelings, no. My actions should make it obvious but he just sees it as parenting. I love them, but dislike them very much often times and I haven't told him that. It would create a bad environment here lol.

My DH knows how I feel to a certain extent. Can I tell him I believe SS is satan spawn? No.
I get my point across, but I have to walk on eggshells and feign "understanding" to do it, otherwise all hell breaks loose. When I do make a comment it gets brushed off as due to ADHD or as someone mentioned above "he's working on it". Often it comes down to "Well he thinks you don't like him."
If only I could say "Well he's right!."
It's getting better and I'm able to tell him more and more, but I still don't say exactly what's on my mind.