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I need advice on how to get out ):

Pengy's picture

Submitted by Pengy on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 4:29am

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I came to the conclusion it will never get better, I knew for a while now but did not want to believe it. Now the snekaining with BM is just to much.
My problem is I do not have any money, nor a job and I want out now, I can't take it anymore, was put on Paxil 2 weeks ago.
I want out now, I don't have the time to save up money. I don't have any family my mom died when I was nine, there were no aunts no uncles, I have no siblings. My friends broke off contact after the second time I left him and went back.
I am truly alone not a single friend, nothing. I lost over 30 lbs, I look like death with 112 pounds, I can't think clearly anymore
I don't think I will survive this holiday season.

Loch Ness's picture

Submitted by Loch Ness on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 5:25am

Yes you can. Stay strong. Try to be objective. This shit is practically scripted. Haven't you noticed how similar all of our circumstances are? We are all (skids, bm, dh and sm) behaving naturally. Try to get a better perspective (not easy, I know), but it's essential. IAt least until you can save up enough to make a move. Perhaps you getting a job will show dh how serious you are... It worked for me Wink

Loch Ness's picture

Submitted by Loch Ness on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 5:28am

Oh, and hormones can really magnify everything 100x lol I've noticed that the things that shit me to tears before my period don't have nearly the same effect after it!

mom2five's picture

Submitted by mom2five on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 7:33am

((hugs)) I'm sorry you are hurting. If you can't leave yet, can you start distancing yourself emotionally?

Start doing things for yourself again. Get out of the house. Get involved in something in your community. Anything to get out of that house for a few hours every day.

forever2's picture

Submitted by forever2 on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 11:34am

Wow, I think many of us want to leave but can't emotionally. It sounds like you can't leave literally. I feel for you. We need to control in our lives to be happy and you are stuck (for now). No wonder you are on antidepressants. It is not you! It is your messed up circumstance and you can get out eventually so hang in there for a little while longer. I am with mom2five, that you may have already done the hardest part. You decided it is time to go so you can live in your head instead of in your physical reality. Go to a happy place thinking about having your own space, being totally free of those skids, seeing that cute guy across the room and knowing that you are on the market. Think of first dates with new men and happy chats with your new friends, maybe a new pet or a hobby that you have always wanted to try. Think of all the things you hate about your current situation and how they will melt away when you are out the door. BM? What's that? So just work day by day to dig yourself out of your financial sitaution. It will take some time. Work on meeting some girlfriends and getting some emotional support. You can get there and in the meantime you can daydream that you are already there. Life will be great again for you, and realizing that your current situation is not right for you is the biggest step forward.

ddakan's picture

Submitted by ddakan on Thu, 12/09/2010 - 8:26pm

look, what you have now, if you have a roof over your head, is easier than making it on your own in your depression. its evil the life we life with these people, but it will pass. after tears and heartache, it will......10 years and my hell is close to over!!! hang in there girl. i'm on anti-d too! i don't wonder why. its hard for anyone to take. it is a mental abuse that rots you away like hell.