I need advice!!!
My husbands 2 year old is ruining my life and my marriage. I know a lot of people will say "Well you knew he had kids when you married him" I did of course but I didn't know what a horrible irresponsible piece of garbage his ex would turn out to be. When me and my husband first got together he was the weekend dad, and I was perfectly happy with this situation. As the months went along I noticed his making more and more excuses as to why she can't see him. She works three days and lives off her boyfriends family but she hasn't seen her child more than 10 times in the past 6 months. I do EVERYTHING for this child. Why should I play mommy when there is already a mommy? I have bring him to his babysitters house, watch him on my days off and watch him when the babysitter is busy. All while he has a mom who doesn't work. I can't stand this kid. He's almost two and can't talk so he just screams for hours on end and is destroying my house and my life. I can't take it. I'm starting to hate my husband for even creating this child. I'm spending my own hard earned money on someone else's child! I wish I could sleep in and have some time to myself and with my husband.
I feel like my only option is getting the hell out of dodge but I also have made my self responsible to this child's well being. If I were to leave my husband and his child would be on the streets.
I just want my husbands ex to take responsibility for her own child! What can I do?!
Have you talked to your DH?
Have you talked to your DH? If the two year old isn't talking there is obviously something else going on. Some kind of developmental delay. You don't HAVE to play mommy. It's a choice. When it comes to a child that young I would choose to help as well. I had to disengage from my stepkids, but they are a bit older and more dependent. It can be a challenge for all involved, but it is an option. I certainly feel better doing it and am happier.
Take some advice from those
Take some advice from those of us who are much older and (sadly) much wiser by experience.
Stop doing ANYTHING for this child. Now. I mean all hands off. Yes, he is still a toddler but your DH and the BM need to be fully responsible for his care. You need to let your DH know in no uncertain terms that you will not be feeding, bathing, watching, etc. this kid at all for at least the next 90 days. That means the PARENTS will have to step up to the plate IMMEDIATELY and get a process in place to care for this kid.
God Forbid if something were to happen to you today and you were completely out of the picture, they'd have to figure it out, wouldn't they? The only reason you are being used is because you are letting them use you.
Looks to me like your DH may have sold you a bill of goods and tricked you, because he probably well knows the BM is useless and he was looking for a fill-in, plug-in mom for his kid, who was willing to open her wallet. Feeling duped? You should, because you were!
You CANNOT let this pattern continue because you will indeed be raising this kid. And it will create all kinds of problems for you for the rest of your life.
If after 90 days they get their sh!t together and have figured out how to parent their own kid, you may or may not want to "assist" whenever YOU want to.
"If I were to leave my
"If I were to leave my husband and his child would be on the streets."
This sounds just a bit over dramatic. I assume DH works so he would have some income for a living situation. ss has a mother who would have to take him in if his father was unable to. There's always BM's boyfriends family that can provide support for the child too, as of yet they haven't had to since you're doing all the care.
"I just want my husbands ex to take responsibility for her own child!"
Your DH needs to take responsibility for HIS own child too.
You fell for a bait and switch. No matter how much you do for the kid the parents will always expect more, they don't appreciate your effort. The kid is theirs, not yours. Let them do the parenting. Step back, go on a 2 week vacation and see what happens.
Listen to yourself, listen to 2tired's advice.