I met one of your SS last night...
So, I met an SS4 last night that has to 'belong' to one of you ladies.
The kid and his father came to my house last night for about 2 hours. I have never seen anything like it! The dad pretty much just kissed his ass the entire time. The kid was extremely hyper and misbehaved too and not ONE TIME did his father tell him to chill out, or even use the word, "NO." This dad literally just kept baby talking this little brat! The kid was a terror and every adult OTHER than the father had to try to keep him under control. Can you imagine someone bringing a kid to your house and then not making sure the kid follows the most basic of the rules of the house? Can you imagine having to parent another persons child right in front of them because they won't?! It's not like my house is anti kid or anything either. We have 2 very young children! He was jumping on furniture, taking over the TV every five seconds, breaking things, interrupting constantly, and clingy as HELL to his dad. At one point Daddy went outside and was not even gone for a minute before the kid was like "DAD? DAD? DAD, Im gonna come see you ok?" I said, "He just went outside for a minute, come on back in the living room.." kid practically had a melt down.
Apparently the kid lives with dad so it's not like he just missed his dad or something.
So, dear SM/GF of this man and his son..I know you must be on this site. I hope things are better at home..I really do. I would never be able to handle it! I would go nuts.
It's another RAD child. They
It's another RAD child. They are everywhere! It starts with poor genes, parental dysfunction and topped with lack of a stable routine and predictable, loving consequences for their actions. Tell me about it, I LIVE it! On the other hand, we cannot really blame this little lost soul... It's sad.
Very true in what tog says.
Very true in what tog says. This is not RAD. I think RAD kids also have no love for others most of the time due to not receiving any love during the early years. Being left in a crib all day, left to fend for themselves..etc.
This is definite future entitlement and bad parenting.
BadNanny - do some research
BadNanny - do some research on RAD before you spout off on it.
Here's a simple wikipedia site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_disorder
RAD is sooo much more than just plain non-parented/badly parented bratty kids.
Get educated and stop saying nonsense.
You call lack of attachment
You call lack of attachment to caregivers "good parenting"? And if the parents were good, then why didn't the child attach? Maybe because of their "good genes"?
Good reply. Now, you don't
Good reply. Now, you don't think that lack of a mother (provided she is not dead), primes this child to have RAD and thus behave this way? Sounds exactly like my skids and they are diagnosed as RAD. I read a study that says that RAD is the most commonly misdiagnosed disorder and it's becoming more prevalent. When my therapist diagnosed my skids, I read everything she gave me and more and instead of resenting them for their behavior, I cried for them. SD6 took a few years of hugging and praising and time with each of us and now she's the light of my days when she's here. SD11 is angry, lost and confused, going between extremes of acting like she's 4, to bullying us like she's the parent. But the story you are relating of this 4 yo describes to a T what I lived through every minute with them when they were younger.
Actually, You just diagnosed
Actually, You just diagnosed them without seeing them. They are seen. And yes, their mother did leave them neglected, and father did minimal care. The mother left two other kids behind without seeing them until adulthood from birth- with baby daddy 1 and 2. These kids are from#3. BM did drugs throughout pregnancies and left them to be raised by others and her trailer parks. One was molested at 5 and they never addressed it. She is now texting naked pix to boys. Sadly, she also had to raise her younger sister while the parents were partying.
There are varying degrees of
There are varying degrees of RAD. I think most people see the orphans left in Romanian hospital beds all day and aren't surprised when these kids are adopted and diagnosed with RAD. But I see parenting behavior ALL the time right here in the US, by "good parents" who don't talk to their kids EVER, carry them around in car seats, move them from one place to the next, put them down as soon as feedings are over and are too busy to bother with bonding with their babies because they are "just" babies. And when divorce happens, chances of RAD are even higher with parents who are already treating them like they are not worth their time or energy. They are things to be moved from one house to the next. I'm not sure why people are reacting this way on here.