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I hate holidays

ihateholidays's picture

Submitted by ihateholidays on Mon, 05/29/2017 - 2:49pm

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Which is how I picked my username. My ex-DH hated to spend time with me and the kids, so he worked every holiday and I spent them alone with little children. No one wants the single mom with kids at their holiday.

Now my partner and I both have kids, but we are almost completely on opposite schedules, and today he is depressed because his kids are with BM, but I have mine. And we don't have "couple friends" for several complicated reasons, but mainly because he can't get along with any of my friends' husbands, so when we do socialize as a couple, it's with his friends.

But he won't arrange anything today, so I am alone, again, on a holiday. I'm taking my kids out, but this part sucks. We will go to park for a while and get ice cream, but BBQing for just us is depressing, so I won't do it.

This part of blending sucks. I have no family here, and many of my "friends" dumped me when I got divorced (5 years ago) and then I gave up many of my activities when I got together with my partner (3 years ago) since having all five kids around is time-consuming and exhausting. So I am lonely.

Sorry, just a self-pitying rant on another holiday.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 05/29/2017 - 5:03pm

Well, that sucks. Being on opposite schedules can be lonely and hard on a relationship. I'm sorry that you are having a bad time.

I get that it takes some getting used to, not having ones kids on the holidays that they are with the other parent, but I don't understand being so depressed as to not enjoy that time with ones current partner. It's part of divorce. Your partner is being rather selfish.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Mon, 05/29/2017 - 7:42pm

Sorry to hear you feel so down, but feeling depressed and then making you feel the same is not fair to either one of you or the kids. Make some friends-just for you who could use company too...And, if he mopes about instead of sharing the enjoying the time he has with you, go elsewhere. Go somewhere really fun too....Do not let his selfishness bring you down.

SM12's picture

Submitted by SM12 on Tue, 05/30/2017 - 7:53am

I can totally relate to spending holidays alone. My DH works most holidays and typically has to work over. Last night he got stuck at work and didn't come home until 9 pm. All our friends were with family so we didn't have any type of cookout. It was rather depressing. I get tired of spending holidays alone as well.
I just try to plan something fun for myself (My BS is launched).

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 05/30/2017 - 8:54am

Take your kids to the VFW or American Legion for a holiday BBQ. Make it low pressure on you but memorable for your kids. DH has issues, let him wallow in them and do what you can to minimize the crossover of his issues onto you and your kids.

I am sorry to hear about your struggles.

Take care of you.