You are probably right,it might not bother you if he was your biological son.

I am one of those (gasp) bed sharers with my son. He is almost 3, and joins us in our bed probaby 3 nights a week for the last hour or two of the night. Both me and Dh (his bio father) are perfectly fine with it.

His boogers and vomit don't phase me in the slightest..... But my neice's (same age as my son), her spit up as a baby made me literally gag. It's just different when its your own.

But bottomline, if you aren't comfortable, then it needs to stop.

In my experience (I'm a successful parent to two grown children and have been in StepHELL for almost nine years now) co-sleeping is a HUGE sign of a "guilty parent" which is a TOTAL disservice to any child; stifling their independence.

Here is a checklist; simply reverse the genders as written--more than one? RUN:

1. Does your man allow co-sleeping with his children? (aka the kiddies routinely jump into bed with him at night)

2. Does he have to lie down with them to get them to sleep?

3. Do the children seem somehow "stunted" socially? Do they have poor hygiene habits, eating habits, bedtime habits?

4. Does your man subscribe to the "one big happy family" model? (expects you to love his children as much as or more than him)

5. Does your man have the "inability" to say no to his children?

6. Do his children seem overly "hyperactive" to you?

7. Does your man say "just relax; you worry too much" or "Everything will be just fine" if you bring up a legitimate concern

8. Do the children seem "overly needy" demanding that dad spend 24/7 with them? Do they physically lay all over him and go bonkers when daddy steps out of their peripheral vision?

9. Are they unable to do age appropriate tasks or want dad to do things that could easily be done themselves?

10. Does dad seem overprotective of his children; unwilling to let them try things out on their own?

11. Has dad said things like "I don't want to make waves with the BM b/c it will affect the children" or "we'll take the high road" when faced with blatant BM stepping over boundaries.

12. Has dad said things to you like "you don't like my children" or "you're a child hater" or "my children are afraid of you" or "my children don't like you?" This is code for you are able to see through the manipulation and the children don't like it. . . and frankly he doesn't like the fact that you can see through his children's manipulation either. He'd rather look the other way as opposed to actually parenting because he might "lose" his children to the (almost always) PASinator BM.

You aren't weird. He is not your bio child. DW needs to change her expectations a bit. Not to mention if bio dad is around for his kid, he may not like that.

when my SO and I met ss was 12. he sometimes had a bad dream and would come into our room, a couple times made like to crawl into our bed but SO took him and went into his twin bed with him for an hour or so. now ss15 is 230 lbs and 6'3" and SO and SS would not fit in a twin together anymore! lol Maybe suggest to your wife to sleep in skid's room if that happens. Or maybe they can have a blow up mattress on the floor together. There are alternatives so that it's them having to move and not you. when i was still with xh and my bs was a baby we made the mistake of allowing him to sleep with us. he was the baby after all, the older two did not do this, but he slept with us until he was 3 1/2 yr old. my mom was the one who finally said it'd not be good for our marriage. my xh never seemed to mind much, but by age 3 and up kids are just getting too big!!