I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown over SD and domestic relations mess
DH just went back to court with baby momma from hell bc of course she needed more money since she just got bratty SD back in her custody from her mother. He was ordered to pay 410.00 to the damn leech, bc apparently it's OUR responsibility to make up the difference in income bc she is lazy and won't work more than a handful of hrs a week at her waitressing job so she can get more welfare money. We just got the order for CS in the mail and it says DH is still also supposed to pay the maternal GMA the 149.00 he was paying her previously. How in the fuck do you have to pay CS to two different people for the same kid? BM has primary legal and physical custody and grandma had signed something suspending CS in the past month? They have the 149.00 lumped in under arrears which I also don't understand. I am so stressed about this it is literally almost every single day that we get something about this stupid first kid of his, we just had our own baby and instead of being happy about that we are consistently stressed about SD and her stupid mother. Any advice or insight is greatly appreciated, DH is going to DR first thing Monday to raise hell but until then I' love some peace of mind. :?
The court situation is a
The court situation is a rough one. Often times courts side with the mother over the father and it's frequently not fair. You should find a lawyer who offers a free consultation and sit down with him and ask point blank, is it worth it to fight. Then go from there. However, he does NEED to support HIS child. The way you talk about your husband's child makes me upset. "This stupid first kid of his" is a terrible thing to say. It's HIS CHILD!
He does support her, besides
He does support her, besides taxpayers he is the only one who does! Her worthless mother has worked less than 6mths of SD's entire life bc of pure laziness and bc it's easier to get welfare and by lying to welfare about who lives with her to get even MORE $, so don't lecture me about my husband "needing to support his child". He didn't want the child and he made that clear from minute one, his ex girlfriend did so it seems hugely unfair that he's the one stuck paying for everything while she sits back using the kid as her free ride!
Again. That's terrible. He
Again. That's terrible. He didn't want her and doesn't love her. I can't imagine ever not loving a child. Even if it is an accident. He had sex and got his ex pregnant. Therefore the child is his responsibility. The birth mother is wrong for living off the government's dime. I believe wellfare is a good program, but is eaily misused due to lack of regulation. However, the child should not suffer because of either parent. Like I said, get a lawyer and find out if it's worth fighting. But don't forget that that child is just that, a child. If your husband has nothing to do with it, other than money, then that is the least that he can do.
He accepts the
He accepts the responsibiliity of supporting her I never said he didn't, and has paid from the time she was born. It is unfortunate that the court doesn't hold the custodial parent equally financially responsible. It's not horrible for me to point out the facts, he did not want her and now he's forced to pay money while BM does nothing when she made the choice to keep and raise the kid. You're obviously pro biological mom based on your blog post tho so I'm sure you'll have an argumentative response again.
Actually, I think that you're
Actually, I think that you're both wrong. All three of you should deal with the fact that this child is here. Wanted or not. A child should never suffer because of the selfishness of the people who brought them into this world.
The only one selfish is BM,
The only one selfish is BM, but you'd never find fault with her. It's always the evil man and stepmother who are wrong right? BM is the one who chose to keep and raise a child when she had no job, no education, not even a car or her own place. But in your eyes my DH is the bad guy I guess bc he didn't "save" her bc she managed to get KU.
I just said that you are all
I just said that you are all equally as bad in this situation.
Equally bad at what?
Equally bad at what?
Seriously. 18 years old and
Seriously.
18 years old and the world is black and white. Lots of opinions. Oh well, just glad she's not my DH's kid.
Wow, you're taking it to a
Wow, you're taking it to a whole different level. I'm an 18 year old who has been an adult since my mom got sick 10 years ago.
I'm a good daughter, and I would do ANYTHING for my father, and my dad's girlfriend and I get along extremely well, we actually share some of the same views and values ironically.
And my dad is my hero. He took responsibility for not only my sister and I, but both of the kids he had from a previous marriage who lived 4 states away. Their mother has bipolar disorder and hasn't had a job in 18 years. Yet, he still paid child support and paid for them to fly out here whenever they wanted. I never heard my mother speak one bad word about their mother even though they were supporting her. And on top of that he has been there for both of my mother's kids, his step kids since from the time he met my mother to this day. Even though after she passed he had no obligation. And he has never ONCE complained. That's what a good person does people.
What am I taking too far? I
What am I taking too far? I really am glad you're not my DH's kid.
My dad makes $50,000 a year.
My dad makes $50,000 a year. Basic middle class income. And my mom was in no condition to work.He gave what he had and went without if it meant he could give more. He wore socks with holes in them and only kept to good pairs. He took out a second morgage on the house, and paid it off with the only retirement money he had so that we could have a place to live. And both of his kids were accidents too. He taught me to earn what you have and give what you can live without.
And what you're saying to me
And what you're saying to me isn't judgemental?
I'm entitled to my opinions about things as much as you are. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that I'm not. And people shouldn't post things if they aren't ready to hear things that they don't like. It's one on the benefits as well as curses about the internet.
Oh, and she got knocked up
Oh, and she got knocked up all on her own. He shouldn't save HER. He should save his daughter so that way she doesn't turn out just like her mother. WAKE UP!! It's not about the three of you it's about a little girl. What if it was your child?
Has he tried to fight for
Has he tried to fight for her? Judging by what you said I would doubt it. And of course she wouldn't give her up without a fight, like I said she's wrong too.
He's already paying the money
He's already paying the money anyway, why not put it towards something productive. I live in world where people care only about themselves, but I choose not to live that way.
Another example of you not
Another example of you not understanding how the world works. Even IF we got a lawyer in the interim we would still be paying CS at the same time, so it's not like we can say that since we're paying a lawyer that CS is no longer owed till it gets settled.
>>>What if it was your
>>>What if it was your child?<<<
It's not her child, though.
You are so clueless about how
You are so clueless about how the world works that it is laughable. Do you honestly believe that the CS most of these men pay actually go to the kid? The kid is a clone of her mother, she will turn out like her regardless, discipline doesn't work on her. I can't even answer your stupid 'what if it was my child?' bc ONE I would never be in the situation BM is in and TWO my child would never act like SD does.
Amen goforit, I think I love
Amen goforit, I think I love you
I have never dealt with or known anyone who operates the way BM and her family do, it's shocking and infruiating that so many people like her are able to get away with it. Meanwhile my husband busts his ass working 6 days a week and it seems like the fine folks at domestic relations have no sympathy towards him and are all pro bio mom. It's not even really about the $410, it practically is principle alone.
People choose to only read
People choose to only read what they want. I said that welfare is misused because it isn't regulated. I said that all three people involved were wrong. And I never said children don't suffer, but just because it happens doesn't make it right. Just because people take advantage of welfare programs doesn't make it right. Selfishness is wrong in all aspects.
I have life experience. The
I have life experience. The father is wrong for not stepping up, the birth mother is wrong for not stepping up, and the step mother is wrong because she doesn't think that the father should have to step up because he didn't want the kid.
They are ALL wrong for only thinking about THEMSELVES.
My belief is that if you choose to have sex you stand the risk of getting pregnant. If you're willing to take that risk then you should be willing to step up.
Why is it everyone on
Why is it everyone on disability says they are on it bc of back problems lol? My back hurts from time to time maybe I should file too }:)
Why is it everyone on
Why is it everyone on disability says they are on it bc of back problems lol? My back hurts sometimes maybe I should file too }:)
It's disappointing to see
It's disappointing to see that people forget what's most important. The little girl who has go through all of this as well. I was raised in a Christian family, and I was brought up in a way that taught me to own up to my responsibilities. I don't like welfare nor do I value laziness. I was never encouraged to sit on my butt and do nothing. I was never encouraged to behave selfishly, and I was taught that it is better to give than to recieve. It disgusts me how selfishly people view things. ME ME ME. No one seems to care that there is a child involved or that she is suffering because everyone in her life cares more about themselves and the money that they have than they do about a child who wasn't asked to be conceived.
To believe someone is naive for believing in something is in itself naive.
Guess what DH and I were both
Guess what DH and I were both raised Christian too, since you wanted to throw that in there to make yourself sound better than us. What about what MY son is going thru bc of SD? $410 isn't a huge amount of money and it will by no means make us go hungry, but at the same time that $410 is money being taken away from my child, who I will one day have to explain to who this trainwreck white trash ex girlfriend and her offspring is. I already feel awful he will have to deal with the same embarassment I do now, but he's just the 'second child' so I suppose he doesn't really matter in your eyes and the eyes of all the bio mom's.
And how is SD "suffering"? By
And how is SD "suffering"? By my estimation from all the hand outs bio mom gets she is doing just fine
Don't make me sound like some
Don't make me sound like some spoiled brat. Everything I have is what I have earned. I'm paying my own way through college. I bought my own car. I've been buying my own clothes for two years and paying my own phone bill since I got my phone 3 years ago. I was never GIVEN anything other than what I needed.
My father did the same thing. Was in the military for 8 years, and now he protects as a police officer,
Good night.
I honestly don't know if he
I honestly don't know if he is behind or not to his ex gf's mother. He changed jobs awhile back and I know they weren't deducting for about a month, but I thought that it had been straightened out, but maybe not. Either way he is taking care of it tomorrow. I really don't know when this site got so pro bio mom friendly, it used to be the only safe place for Step's to come and bitch, but I guess that is changing now too. I take offense at your last stmt about my parenting I am a damn good mother to MY son, he is very well cared for, SD is NOT my daughter, or my responsibility. My loyalties and concern lies with my son alone, what DH wants to do or not do with SD is not my concern.
I dislike her bc of how she
I dislike her bc of how she acts, she is a complete brat who listens to no one, I have posted about her attitude, tantrums, and general bad behavior plenty of times here before. Just bc I don't care for a child I have NO biological connection to has no bearing on the kind of parent I am to my own flesh and blood child. We do everything we can to protect our infant son from this entire disaster of a mess, for that very reason he has not seen SD yet, and will NEVER in a million yrs see the lunatic of a BM she has. The reason SD has not seen him is bc of how rough she is, there is a genuine fear for me of her hitting him or injuring him in some way.
The second paragraph about responsibility for the child: My whole point is that it is just unfair bc DH does contribute more than his fair share, why is BM not compelled to actually work and earn enough to support herself and equally contribute to SD? If DH decided to just not work and contribute none of his own money to SD he would get thrown in jail, yet it's fine for BM to do just that? The double standard is so aggravating. Calling my parenting skills into things have no bearing on this whole discussion and it was really a cheap shot.