I don't trust my SD11...
Ok, It's been awhile since I've been on here. But I'm still having a hard time with my SD11. I really want to have a good relationship with her but I CAN'T TRUST HER. There is just something in my gut when I know she is lying, trying to kiss my a$$ or suck up to her dad. I don't understand why she does this. We have her full time and have had COUNTLESS sit down talks with her about her lying, stealing and her manipulation.The only thing that shaped her up was after she stole a necklace from school the hub and I packed all of her bags and set them at the front door when she came home from school and told her we were going to ship her BM. She freaked out. I know that's kind of extreme, but the "good-ol' take all her favorite things away, ground her or have a family pow wow" just weren't working.
I don't understand why she acts out this way. She's super smart straight A student, we have our girl time and she has the weekend all to her self with DH,she is not a deprived child.
OHH and just last month she had a words with a ADULT about why she didn't like her son (becuase they were making fun of each other on the bus) and apparently used cuss words while talking to her. The mom got pissed and called her a C*NT.... other parents don't want their kids to hang out with her because they think she is a bad influence.
I don't know. I'm trying not to bash, but I am just having a really hard time even wanting to be around her. Every time she is in trouble she runs to 'daddy' for a hug... for some reason everytime she is in trouble she wants a hug like its going to make it all better. My DH has been amazing. If anything I think he feels bad he never disiplend her before. I've only been with her the last 2 years and we have been trying to work on this additude and behavior. I'm feeling burnt out.... like I might even be a little depressed over this.... sorry this is so long, I just don't know what to do anymore.
Thanks for all the feedback!
Thanks for all the feedback! I do feel like she has a sense of entitlment for sure. But we don't spoil her at all. She just has this "well if I can't get it from them I'll steal it from them" like when she stole my sunglasses and for a week lied about it and made suggestions about the "dog eating them" then one day me and DH put the heat on for the truth and it all came out... she was hiding them in her room... I don't like when she turns stuff around like I'm the fool. It DRIVES ME NUTS!
In regards to the disciplining, my DH fought really hard to get sole custody of her and didn't want to spank her ect for fear that he might lose in court over it. Kinda funny to say this but she mouthed off to me the other night and she got spanked (by DH) for the first time in probably 7 years! and yes, she was STUNNED. He did ground her, but he would always go into her room everytime she cried for him...
It took along time for her to back off while the DH and I shared a hug or a kiss... She would always be right there like "where's mine?" I think it's because it was just the two of them for a year before we dated. She always refers to her dad as her "buddy". I don't know if this should bother me or not but my DH and I have been talking about having our own baby. I'm 27 and still want to have one of my own. But when she talks about it she says "when are we going to have OUR baby" kinda weird.
I could seriously write at least 30 pages about all this. I haven't even started with the BM.. whole other story. I'm just trying to find a place where I'm not always in resentment mode. Sometimes I feel like crap when I'm driving home from work.. just knowing... I'm trying to do the best I can, but this kid is exahusting me.