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I am so frustrated

hardsourapple@yahoo.com's picture

Submitted by hardsourapple@y... on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 3:57am

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So I have been with my other half for 4 years now. He has been out of work for over a year. He has been looking for a fight. I have been honest with him and tonight he got drunk and decided that I was lying. He knows that i have been honest about this issue. Like I told him it is my past and it does not matter. He says it does. I told him at least I was honest with my past and when the time comes that he would not be honest with his son about an issue. He said that it is not his business, It was something that happened in before him. I told that this was the same thing. It was two years before him and does not matter. He is just trying to fight. I don't know what to do. Any advice???

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 8:30am

I went to see a counselor for my DH's verbal abuse when he drinks. My counselor said something I found very profound.

"It takes two to fight."

Now, she was NOT blaming the victim or anything like that but it does ring true.

Now, if my DH has too much to drink and starts being an a$$, then I just say, "That's nice, dear." or "I'm sorry that you feel that way." and go in another room.

It is VERY tough, I won't lie. But it has changed our way of interacting since it really threw him for a loop the first few times I didn't get mad back at him!

Sometimes I think of DH as an unruly teen, any attention (even negative attention) is better than no attention to them!