Ahhhhh, we have the same dynamic. My FORMER inlaws (my first DH passed also) are very much like this... they do NOT think I should have ever gotten remarried, or at least waited until my kids were long gone from the nest (first DH passed when my kids were 3 and 5).

They "tolerate" DH, but don't go out of their way to make him feel comfortable. Due to many other dynamics, we choose not to be around them -- the kids are free to visit grandparents whenever they choose, but we don't. In fact, if I/we do have to be around my first DH's immediate family for any length of time, I/we are pretty much ignored. I used to be very close to my SIL and BIL (first DH's brother) but I haven't even spoken to them in probably 6 years. The moment I started dating, the invitations to niece/nephew birthday parties, holiday gatherings, etc stopped immediately.

I see it this way: my "inlaws" still hold onto their son/brother, we were married for almost 16 years when he passed. It's not that they don't like my now-DH, they just don't like what he represents: a different/new life for me and my kids. My former "MIL" even went so far as to tell me she would petition for custody of my kids if I ever remarried. :jawdrop: Yeah, that didn't happen.

My DH's family accepts me and my kids 1000%. As DH's mom said, I"m a "breath of fresh air" after the woman he was married to/had kids with.

My own family didn't accept DH at first, probably because they were just being protective of me. But now DH is family to them.

My family LOVES my DH. If we ever divorce, I have a feeling I'll be disowned and he'll be adopted. LOL. They accept SS15 as a "real" grandchild/nephew and treat him the same, but also know what we're going through with SS15 right now.

DH's family accepts my BS as "real" family. They really like him as a person in his own right. DH's sister loves me. I think his parents do too, BUT...BM will always be their DIL even though they hate her because she's "the mother of the chiiiiiildren." I will never have my DH's children, alas, so I'm "just" the second wife. The replacement.

DH's relationship with his parents has been strained because they don't accept his decision for SF (real BF) to adopt Faux. They speak, we visit, but we don't share anything personal. They live two states away so that makes it easier.

My folks LOVE my DH. My dad has the 'son he never had' and DH has a profound love for my dad since his dad passed when he was young. My mom dotes on him and its great.

MIL loves me and respects my position as DH's wife. (I adore her, even if she is a Disney granny, LOL)

She hates BM, calls her a 'crazy bitch'. SIL and I are wary of each other, but friendly. We are both strong alphas and I stepped on toes when I came along, but we are on our way and do enjoy each other. She wonders how her brother snagged me with all of the nonsense BM does.

SD14 doesn't spend time with my family- i don't encourage it- she's a nightmare.

DH and I have been together 6yrs, married for 3.

I'm confused...was posting to a blog and it ended up here!

i have a great relationship with FIL and MIL.

My fiance's two brothers are not very welcoming, nor are their wives. But my fiance also does not have a great relationship with his brothers and was away from the family for nearly 20 years when he was with BM.

My mother likes my fiance although she is happy we "shack up". My sister doesnt know he exists (very long story there).

My DH is completely accepted in my family, as I am in all of his. DH's parents are divorced, so I am blessed with a Mother-In-Law, Father-In-Law, and Stepmother-In-Law. MIL is the only one who met DH's exGF and couldn't STAND her! MIL is always telling me how much she loves and appreciates me, and how I'm SO much better for her son than his exGF EVER was! LOL It's nice to be loved!

I just wish DH's family lived closer to us. We only get to see them all about once a year. My family lives very close by, so we see and do a lot with them.