I feel that I might need mental help. I have an intense hate for my SD, she is only eight years old. I hate this child so bad, I even hate her for living! I guess I am one of those evil step mothers you hear about. I never dreamed I'd become one of those people. I am such a kind, quiet, and gentle person. I have children when I met husband. We have one together. I was used as a babysitter for SD while the BM went off partying and husband stays high. The whole time DH had be brainwashed into believing that his daughter was precious gold, my children were nothing, and that I should be happy to keep this precious child for him and BM.

From the moment I got pregnant with OUR child, he would talk about BM's pregnancy. How wonderful it made him feel, how he saw SD's nasty little rancid head slide out of BM's nasty maggot infested crotch and how beautiful it was. BM would march into my home and drop SD off, demanding that I keep her and slamming my own door. DH would be drunk. He would fall all over SD like she was some beautiful piece of gold. He would expect my own daughter (who is near the the same age as SD) to give up her clothes, shoes, and everything for his "precious angel"

On the few times when SD wasn't dropped off for ME to take care of, dh would take a photo of her into my car and cry and play sad songs. He'd come in all red eyed holding the picture of SD crying (drunk) He'd sit and cry about how his sweet angel, his best friend in the world couldn't be with him. (seriously he said those things) All the while I was pregnant and tired. I put the crib up by myself while he talked about putting SD's crib up. I wrote the baby book by myself while he sat on the couch and told me stories of what kind of baby book they had for SD. I was filling out the baby book and came to where it said siblings, he did watch me do that and jumped at the chance to say "oh, don't get SD's name spelling wrong, let me tell you how it's spelled, the reason we named her this was (and then went onto the story of how they came up with the kids name) Like I cared!!!!

EVERYTHING was about this kid. She took up my ENTIRE home for almost two years!

Then I realized that I was being nothing but a babysitter for bm and my husband. She would come to my door and scream, kick my door until I'd open it, push SD in my home and say "there, see you in a week" Husband would be laying high somewhere, but he'd be sooo happy to have "his precious baby" with him. Of course while he layed high and I watched the brat.

I finally put my foot down! No more SD in my home! I haven't seen the child since Easter! NONE! I refuse to even speak her name in my home. I told dh, you better not even say her name to me unless you get yourself help with your addiction. If you want to see her, get the hell out of my house and visit her because you will not do it on MY TIME WHILE YOU'RE HIGH!! So, he's chosen to ignore her, but has blow ups that I hate the kid.

But, the fact is? I now DO hate her! I can't even mention the kids name! The mere thought of her makes me want to vomit. The MANY MANY pictures sitting by my dhs side of the bed of SD make me want to puke. He aims them RIGHT AT where we sleep so I see SD when I first wake up and when I first lay down. He puts roses around these pictures, holds them, it's soooo WEIRD! The site of the kids picture makes me want to puke. I have never in my life seen an uglier child than that.

I also do not believe this child belongs to dh. It doesn't matter because dh would never care anyways, he thinks he has an angel that fell from the skys.

But, I can't bare the thought of this kid. I'd rather lick vomit up than visit her!!!