In the divorce, is there not a outline of what the visitation orders? This usually helps with the schedules for holidays, birthdays, and weekly visitation.
Kim

so we had to be more specific in final orders. Same problem - she kept trying to split the days and freaking out over half the day and splitting them. Who wants two Thanksgiving dinners in one day? So we agreed that we got the girls all day/all night Thanksgiving every other year and Christmas Eve all day every year until 9:00pm and she gets Christmas Morning and Day. Then we plan a trip every year (even if it's just to a local hotel when $ is tight) on Christmas Day.

Only downfall is they hate leaving all their new presents and going to mom's house. But it really has worked out otherwise.

change every year, the only holidays that remain the same are mothers day is always with bm and fathers day is always with bf. the rest of the holidays are on an altering schedule that was set up in court. sometimes we have issues with this because sd is 13 and wants to make her own decisions on who to spend the holiday with. the first year i was in th picture, she wanted to spend mothers day with me and did and bm still brings it up and it is a sore topic for her. even though bm went to a brewers game with her son and didn't even have a ticket for sd and did not invite sd.

Our state has guidelines, so that does help with the holiday issue. If bm had her way though we wouldn't get ss except for reg visitation.Christmas vacation we alternate. One year we get him when he gets out of school and take back on christmas morning, the next we pick up on christmas morning, and drop off right before school starts back.
We really like the fact that each year he gets to spend either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day with us. To me it seems like a pretty fair way to handle the holiday. Now summer vacation is a whole other ballgame, we tried to do the alternating halves once, and it was a huge mistake. We don't have to, b/c dh has the right to choose which half he wants every year, small victory for dads in this state. WE chose second half once, and ss was a complete and utter shit the whole time, I am thinking bm spent the her half practicing her alienation tactics. We got him first half this summer and all was good, so that is what we are choosing from now on.
Maybe check to see if your state has a book of guidelines, it could help you decide on how to handle these situations.

We get every other weekend (we live an hr apart) the first six weeks of summer vacation, though next hear dm and i are going to set down and look at activites and when they are so he can be involved in sports and other things and work out a different schedule. every other year we get thanksgiving and for christmas one year we get christmas eve and 2 days before and the other we get christmas eve night and 2 days after. it works out good though it gets hard when it comes to leaving the toys behind. oh and mothers day and fathers day is a given. we would love to have more time in the summer but maybe with this new thing we are going to try out we will. *fingers crossed*

Divorce Poison is a very good book,discussing PAS. Definitely need to adhere to the guidelines, now explain to dh that if you don't it will only lead to problems down the road, when other issues arise.