His son is out of control!

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My boyfriend has a nine year old son, I have two children myself ages 12 and 7. I usually love kids but cannot take to this child. His son has no manners and no rules, no consequences or rules and it is really putting a strain on our relationship. If I bring up something that concerns me he complains and makes excuses for his son. For instance When we first started dating his son decided to put my sons game boy cartridge in his mouth and chewed on it and broke it. Me and my son were very upset. My boyfriend did nothing about this. He didn't punish him or give him a consequence and he blamed it on his anxiety. He yells and screams I have seen him go up behind my boyfriend and wack him hard in the back of his head. He constantly is throwing temper tantrums and my boyfriend just makes excuses for him. My mother has stopped allowing his son to come to her house. My mother has invited him and his son over to her house and on multiple occasions his son was bad. My mother tried to engage in conversations with this boy on multiple occasions and he just stares and ignores you. He repeatedly left my moms back door wide open, when she politely has asked numerous times to close the door, he just ignored her. Also he had a temper tantrum and started beating up and kicking her furniture and he was found upstairs snooping through the closets. My boyfriend gets mad that my mom doesn't allow him in her house. I am at my wits end! Advice?

Unless your BF opens his eyes

Unless your BF opens his eyes, stops making excuses for terrible behavior, and starts parenting immediately, things will only become worse. Imagine not a 9 year throwing violent tantrums, but a 6-foot 15 year old.

I would not subject my kids to the constant chaos this feral child and his useless father must cause in your home.

Your BF needs parenting classes and probably therapy to find out why he thinks violent dysfunction is normal. If he refuses to avail himself to either, I would be done with this relationship.

he constantly makes excuses

He constantly makes excuses and thinks his son deserves special treatment because he does not have a mother.

100% this!

Why are you subjecting your kids (and yourself) to this?

Do you live together? Are your children resentful that they have rules and consequences? If they aren't yet, they will be.

No

No we do not live together, and I told him I never will live with him unless things change with his son.

Thank goodness, and stand

Thank goodness, and stand your ground here. I can say that you should probably stop wasting your time here though. MOST guys like this don't change.

Your right!

He expects me to bond and love his child, and sadly I hate to say it but there is nothing to love and bond with this child. If my boyfriend made rules and the kid acted like a Normal child I would be able to bond with this child.

Just trust me (you know that

Just trust me (you know that stranger on the internet ) Been there and done what you are doing now. It only gets worse them more involved you get. I am not in your situation anymore. Moved on and happily married the man of my dreams and my best friend. BM is a whore who needs to die... but my skids, my DH-- we are all great. It is possible! You just need the right partner!

My advice would be to end

My advice would be to end your relationship with your BF. If he's just making excuses and not making an effort to parent properly, life with him and his kid will be miserable. There's no reason to subject yourself and, more importantly, your children, to that.

I never understand the logic

I never understand the logic of these parents: his mother abandoned him, so I will neglect his needs for discipline and make sure he never becomes a productive adult because I feel so sorry for him.

mom

His mom passed away three years ago. And he blames the way his son acts on the mom. I told him he has had his kid for three years so bad excuse.

"For instance When we first

"For instance When we first started dating his son decided to put my sons game boy cartridge in his mouth and chewed on it and broke it. Me and my son were very upset. My boyfriend did nothing about this"

Why did you continue to date him? That should have told you quite a bit about your boyfriend. Not only how he parents (or doesn't) but how much respect he has for other people and their property. He should have been upset that his son did that to something that did not belong to him. He should have enough respect for other people, to care about how his son acts in their home.

Sorry, but your boyfriend is no prize.

Hereiam

Your right he is no prize I am starting to see that. HE used the excuse his son has anxiety so he didn't mean to chew on it and break it.

I have anxiety, really,

I have anxiety, really, diagnosed as Generalized Anxiety Disorder or Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia depending on who exactly you ask. Even before I was diagnosed and offered medication though I knew how to direct it enough that I didn’t destroy things.

This kid is 9. He’s old enough to know not to put a game boy game in his mouth. If not than he needs help, not excuses.

Dad can get the kid a chewy to deal with anxiety. We’re considering it for the little one because he chews on his shirt and sleeves. I’d never just accept a kid chewing on things they shouldn’t because of anxiety.

At the bare minimum why isn’t dad concerned about the kid putting something toxic into his month to chew on? Those things have batteries and all sorts of metal material that isn’t good to eat.

Why are you proceeding with

Why are you proceeding with this relationship?

You’re expressing honest issues and your partner isn’t doing anything to fix it. Is this the relationship you want? Is this the relationship your children deserve? If you move forward things won’t get easier.

Honestly at this point I would question if it’s worth it. You don’t seem that happy. You didn’t identify any positives that would keep you in this relationship. Sure I assume you love him but that’s not enough when everything else is miserable.

Even if you think you would

Even if you think you would be willing to stay in this relationship (really, I don't see why you would), you are a mother and have to think about how this situation affects your kids, as well.

The way this kid acts, how he treats your kids, and how your BF blames your kids for everything (from your other post), there is just no way that I would want that for my kids.

Either leave him or start saving up for lawers

This kid needs Help , perfessiona help to start. It may never get better because SO has his head up his A** If you stay it’s going to be. Long bad life. This is the type of kid that neighbors, when interview by news stations. Say I always knew he was a little strange but nobody thought he would do that

This kid is a nightmare and

This kid is a nightmare and his daddy is allowing it.

I mean it's no wonder the kid thinks he can act out-he gets away with it! As long as daddy doesn't enforce respect this kid is gonna get worse.

For your sake I would consider leaving if things don't cbsnge. I mean what impact is this child having on your own children? I know this has to be taxing on your nerves altogether.