HELP ME - Clothing for my stepkids
Help, what the hell do you do???, we have 50/50 custody of my two step children (7yr Girl & 10yr Boy) we have big bag of clothes that come between both houses but majority of kids clothes are at their mums place.
My husband and i pay alot of child support and we buy around 80% of the kids clothes also, mainly because when they come to our place we find they dont have alot to wear. Im very proud of my stepchildren and like to have them looking nice & tidy and smart all the time -(mainly because that how my mother brought me up).
The problem is all the clothes we buy we hardly ever see!!!! they dont come back and their mother packs a bag full of clothes too small to0 bigg too old etc nothing is organised in outfits or matching its just grab half a doz tops pants etc and throw it in the bag!! This makes my life hell as im organised and like thing to match the kids arnt little anymore and i like to put pride in their apperance.
The mother gets mad because im always buying kids new clothes, and say she wants to buy their clothes, but i only buy them stuff because we never have anything decent for them to wear!!!!
My husband does not want seperate clothes at both houses, he says not fair to have nice clothes at our place (yet mother says she hates clothes i buy..hahaha) and too hard to keep track when kids go home in clothes from our place ( i want to keep all the clothes i buy at our place to avoid all this crap) he has asked her nicely to sort this out and she just gets mad about it and not much changes except we might get couple extra unmatching items sent.
My husband will not listen to my suggestions, am i being unreasonable.???????????????
You're not being unreasonable
You're not being unreasonable at all. If you pay for the clothes why shouldn't you keep them at your house?? How about keeping the majority of their clothes at your house and putting together a few inexpensive outfits that can be taken home? That's a decent compromise.
the thing is, i could manage
the thing is, i could manage this really well if i was doing the packing, but i work Fridays and he dosnt so he re-packs bag to send home and puts EVERYTHING in it, a couple of times i held back half a doz things and packed bag myself then just before he dropped it off he re-checks draws and wardrobe and finds them and pots them in the bag
Then you do the packing on
Then you do the packing on Friday morning before you go to work or on Thursday evening. Set out what they are supposed to wear home.
Put the 'nice' things somewhere else. Make it clear to EVERYONE what can and cannot go to the other home.
Why are their bags being packed for them anyway. They are well old enough to pack their own at this stage.
love this idea
love this idea
the reatarded mother says
the reatarded mother says that "kids should be dressed practically all the time anyway so what the prob" (by this she means old rags that you would wear out on the farm so dosnt matter if they get dirty) I dont operate like that we live in town we go places we have fun we like to look presentable and have pride in our appearance not just for me but for them as human beings this i think is great trait to have.
How do you know she isn't
How do you know she isn't sending them in old clothes on purpose? You know, to make it seem like they don't have anything nice and knowing that you guys will continue buying them new clothes anyway. Talk to dh about how much money is spent on clothes because it never comes back. The more clothes you buy the more bm will expect. Do you pay cs...I don't remember what you said. If so, cs should help cover clothing costs. If he is insistent on letting them take all their clothes back home then stop buying them clothes. When they are with you and only have to wear ratty clothes when you guys have to go somewhere in public let dh know that all their good clothes is at bm's house & this clothes is all they brought. Then suggest again that they leave clothes at your house 'just in case'.
after having the same problem
after having the same problem for awhile, I was spending my money buying his kids clothes cuz bm couldnt manage to send them with coats or even shoes that fit.. and DH was sending them back to BMs house.. sooo to solve that problem I said whatever is bought here stays here.. whatever they wear from their moms they wear back.. its as easy as taking it off and putting it in a bag on the door handle..
I want nice neat well dressed kids.. she does not want that for them bad enough to do it herself, she isnt gonna use me to do it for her.
It has gotten to the point where they both have one drawer in their dresser that is clothes they can wear to their moms.. that works out pretty good.
If dh would have disagreed then he could have bought all the stuff.. not me... and bought it in a way that was not going to take away from his kids.. so if he had to buy new shoes for skids, he had to buy new shoes for his other kids too.
Yeah stop sending ANYTHING to
Yeah stop sending ANYTHING to their house. Once that happens the BM will have wished she wasn't such a jerk. You paying CS and buying them nice clothes to have at the BMs, sounds like she is having her cake and eating it too....
I used to buy SS clothes
I used to buy SS clothes because when I first met SS, his clothes were dirty and didn't fit. Nice Job DH and BM. At that time SS lived with BM. SS would wear the clothes I bought when with us and I would make sure he dressed in what was sent on the day he went home (as long as we didn't have plans, or weren't in public).