Help - i'm being selfish, petty and emotional!
I am currently expecting our first child. I'm just into my third trimester, I'm probably a little extra emotional but if I don't write something out I might go insane.
My husband and I had moved awayafter we got married but it really didn't work out. He was miserable and couldn't find work, my job didn't work out as we hoped it would so in the past 2 weeks he found a job up in our home town and we moved back home. We have had my SS5 since June 23rd. It's been about 2 and a half weeks, which is the longest we've ever had him at one time. With my husband working and me being pregnant, I've just been staying at home with my SS and I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. Constant questions, constant need of attention, constantly hungry or thirsty, running all over the place. I think it's the questions that are getting me the worst. "we're sitting in the living room, right?" "when's daddy coming home?" (10 minutes later) "when's daddy coming home now" I could handle this better if it weren't for my...
MOTHER IN LAW!
I don't know if anyone else deals with the most controlling human being to ever grace the planet, but I do. She is so utterly concerned for my SS that she is constantly constantly constantly calling me and telling me "you know what you should do?" trying to get us to get custody of my SS, trying to get us to sign him up for this sport and this club and telling us we need to devote ourselves to making sure to be super active in his life and blablabla. I know it will be important to make SS feel important when baby brother comes, I do not need to be constantly reminded. I'm having a baby in the fall, I don't currently need to be worrying about whether or not SS plays hockey. If she wants him to play hockey, she can sign him up for hockey. LEAVE ME ALONE. I seriously feel like I'm going crazy. He is walking around the house asking me question after life sucking question. I don't ignore him until I've reached my breaking point. We already played outside, we already made lunch together, we've already watched a movie together, we've already played legos.
It sounds horrible and I can't say this to just everyone, but I just wish that I could really be able to enjoy my pregnancy and look forward to my baby boy on the way, but I feel like my pregnancy is being marred by my MIL's OBSESSION with SS.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Breathe!!! Answer to MIL on
Breathe!!!
Answer to MIL on all things: Oh thats an interesting idea! Call DH and explain it to him!
(Let HIM deal with his mother).
And for your own sanity. Set the timer on the stove for an hour in the morning and an hour every afternoon and that is quiet time. SS needs to play quietly, by himself, in his room until the timer goes off.
editing to add: This is quiet
editing to add: This is quiet time. If he is asking you questions (to include how much longer) he isn't being quiet and 5 more minutes get added to the timer.
Your husband needs to keep
Your husband needs to keep his mother in line and he needs to take SS off your hands at least once in a while.
YOU need to communicate your needs to him and he needs to stand up for you.
DH also has a controlling mother in law, I'm also in my third trimester, she's been trying weird stuff underhandedly as well, but DH nips it right in the bud and will punish his mother by cutting off contact with her, telling her if she does something that either I or he doesn't like she can kiss contact with our soon to be baby goodbye, or just straight up telling her what he will and will not accept as behavior from her.
MIL has cooled down significantly but occasionally she'll still try to test the limits.
LOL. My kids drive me crazy
LOL. My kids drive me crazy too. (I'm due in 9 days).
I find what keeps me sane (and I remember this from when they were little and I was a stay at home mom with them), I would get up, feed them breakfast and then take them somewhere. They wake up full of energy.
I'm home now on maternity leave and have SS13, DD12, DS9 and DS10 at home with me. I take them to the library, the park, the pool - whatever. I just take them out of the house. I didn't catch how old your SS is, but there are lots of free things to do in just about any city. Sometimes it's less stressfull to leave the house and let the kid run around, play with others, get into stuff (outside that you won't have to clean up) and then bring him home, feed him lunch and then have some quiet time that you've earned. This can be TV time for the kid or books or naps or whatever. The idea is that each of you go to your own space/ bedroom and do something quiet.
Hope this helps.
Thank you ladies - DH always
Thank you ladies - DH always SAYS he's going to talk to his mom to get her to tone her crap down and then never does it. Leaving would have been great but he went to work with my car keys in his pocket!! I was trapped at home all day long!
Things that should be sweet (my SS saying "mom?" and I say "yes?" and he just wants a kiss) just get under my skin because the reason he's doing it is he can't come up with YET ANOTHER question to ask me. I just need to give him back to BM this weekend and spend some alone time with hubby. We've had a good deal of trials in the past week and I think today my head is just going crazy!!!
^^^drop him off telling MIL
^^^drop him off telling MIL he missed his nana soooo much.
ha! that would be perfect
ha! that would be perfect then she would be busy and would leave me alone! I tell you one thing, when I have my son in September, she will have zero control over him. DH gave her too much control with SS because he was living at home when he had SS. Now we're married and it's our family and she has NO SAY and I LOVE IT! (not that she won't try)
Does she call a house phone
Does she call a house phone or a cell phone? Can't you let it go to voicemail?
She called me three times
She called me three times today - i let it go to VM 2 times. BTW - she has multiple times expressed she doesn't like my choice of OB/GYN -- how that is any of her business is beyond me? She's trying desperately to get me to switch doctors.
There's nothing wrong with
There's nothing wrong with telling the 5 year old mommy needs quiet time. Then tell him to go play or read a book. If he persists suggest maybe he needs a nap and he'll leave you alone.
He'll eventually learn what your threshold is and not cross it. Indulge him as long as you can comfortably but no longer. You are in control of the conversation and how long it lasts. Not him.
Do you have a set schedule of activities or is it free play all the time till dad gets home?
We don't have a set schedule
We don't have a set schedule and today was thrown off because we didn't have a car. Usually we have things to do during the day, but today we couldn't go do anything. I think that was the problem. Tomorrow I need to have the car and some sort of schedule or I think I may just lose my mind.
Yes. You will lose your mind.
Yes. You will lose your mind. Step child or bio child, it's very difficult to sit at the house with little ones. Sometimes even if you can take them for a walk around the block, it's nice - let them ride a bike, pull them in a wagon or even just walk. It gives him something to focus on other than what they need from you and allows you a chance to clear your mind.
You could have him do a scavenger hunt and write a list/ draw pictures of things he needs to collect on the walk or in the yard. Sometimes it's hard to send them outside alone because they like you there, but if you go outside and read a book or just relax in a chair, it still gives you a break. You could also let him play with the hose or dig a little garden to plant.