Hi everyone, I'm new here - I was so happy to find a site like this! I could really use some advice!

I have been with my husband for 2 years - between the 2 of us, we have 4 boys - he has a 6 year old from a previous relationship, I have a 5 year old from a previous relationship, and we have 1 year old twin boys together.

The issue I've been facing for the past 2 years is that everytime my husband's son comes down for the weekend, my husband ignores everyone in the house to spend time with his 6 year old. Now I understand, that he does not get to see him every day and wants to compensate for the time lost, but there has got to be SOME way to encorporate the rest of the family into these weekends. Not to mention, my husband spoils his son and gives him everything he wants, lets him stay up till ungodly hours, My husband rushes into the bedroom to check on him the second he opens his eyes (doesnt do that with the twin babies mind you), and when his son does something bad, my husband will punish him, but 5 minutes later apologize to him!!! Excuse me? What happened to let the punishment fit the crime?!

His son is a very well behaved child, and is usually pretty good when he's with us. When I first met my husband, I became very close with his son - but his mother ruined that, to the point where his son wont even talk to me now. This woman has a hold over my husband that cant seem to be broken. He gives her $ whenever she asks for it(in addition to the child support), he does absoulutely everything she asks. Not to mention, she calls him 5 or 6 times a day to tell him EVERY LITTLE thing their kid does. C'mon now - is this really necessary? I have a child with someone else and we talk 5 or 6 times a week .. not even that! Is this normal?

How can I break my husband's habits? I've tried talking to him about it, and the only response I get is 'its for my kid, and when he's down here I want to spend as much time with him as possible' - to the point of ignoring the rest of your family and digging us into a financial hole so you can pay for your son's football? He seems to forget he has other obligations.

Help!