I posted yesterday about my frustrations with DH's ex-wifes nephew who we are expected to take on the weekends with the other two bio kids, even though he is not related to DH, only the ex-wife has any form of gardianship, and he is not even mentioned in the court documents. Last night, DH and I drove an hour to drop the nephew and SS off at BMs house after BM threw an absolute fit that she had to drive them down to our house (the first time she has EVER driven them). BM then drove them to our house mid-day Saturday because she absolutely wasn't going to drive at 10 pm, when SD got off work (although there is no problem with me doing that with my 2 year old DD, she actually tried to argue that we should meet her half way that night). We then had the kids spend the whole weekend saying that BM wanted them home early on Sunday (meaning I had to get up at 6 am to drive them home), then BM changed her mind and yelled at DH that she didn't want them home until evening. We could hear the latest troll she is sleeping with in the background so I guess she decided she was occupied. Anyways, when we dropped the kids off at 8 pm yesterday, DH gave his daughter a hug in the front yard and BM (drinking of course) comes stumbling out yelling at DH.

Apparntly BM is pissed about our truck (meaning the truck that DH and I own). About two weeks ago, after we sunk about $3000 into his work truck for tires, alignment, tags,and insurance, he loaned it to his daughter and BM shows up at his workplace driving it. We promptly took the truck back - she drinks and we don't need her crashing it drunk. She didn't like that since it "isn't convenient for her to have one car at the house" - ummmmm....the world doesn't revolve around making your life convenient, you lazy harpy. BM was mad because DH hasn't driven the truck over the past week - he has his tools at his job site already - but decided not to give the truck back to SD because BM doesn't understand that she no longer owns it after the divorce. Although BM only works 30 hours a week and is off for this entire month (she works for the school system), and DH and I both work more than full time, she is mad that she has to drive SD 15 minutes to her PT job and back. This is a woman who complains about the house the DH and she still own, that she lives in with the SKs because it "needs so much work". Almost all it needs, now that I've been in there is a good scrub and a coat of paint. The toilet bowl literally has a black ring in it.

Anyways, after her little meltdown, DH and I had a long talk on the way home about how to continue to set up boundaries with her, disengage and generally keep our house BM free. I was totally honest with him and told him how resentful I was becoming because we are just expected to take her nephew for the weekend. He is destructive, doesn't say hi, bye or thank you, is a total slob, and doesn't even interact with us - just sits in the office playing video games. BM's family is a MESS and this kids mom was on drugs when she was pregnant with him so he is all kinds of screwed up. I reminded him that even if they raised the kid while they were married, he isn't biologically DH's, he is no longer part of DH's family, DH doesn't even have rights or responsibility for him, and basically the kid is BM's problem. If DH wants to be a father figure, thats great, he does that for my DD, but if we divorced, I wouldn't assume he was required to take DD every other weekend. If she wants to be a bitch, then she can darn well have that kid 24/7. DH let me know that the nephew's behavior is totally unacceptable, that everyone has had problems with him at one time or another, that he would talk to him, and that we don't have to have him down anymore if we don't want to! Whoop! Sorry all, I love, love, love my SD and SS, but I definately don't need to be doing any favors for BM, don't want to be around a totally messed up, rude kid that is not related to any of us. We have enough on our plate with just our kids. DH is totally coming around!