Along with that.... I've got a question

My boyfriend has 3 kids, he has primary custody and they live with him. 2 girls and 1 boy

Our BM lives in a 2 bedroom mobile home she rents,... she gets visitation EOWE and EOWeek during the summer.

The 3 kids have a bunk bed(so two beds) they rotate who gets to sleep on which is in the middle of the living room. BM and her boyfriend live in the master bedroom and the kids say that the spare room they are not allowed in, it has storage for their mom.

She didn't even have beds for them until a year ago when my boyfriend put his foot down (finally) and she got blow up mattresses. The bunk beds JUST came this summer.

He is still not happy about his kids sleeping in the livingroom and them taking turns one sleeping on the floor(the kids have said the couch is leather and new and their mom won't let them sleep on the couch).

She she allowed to do this?

I didn't call CPS- DH did. And we handed them piles of photos, emails, and documentation we had proving the kids were being neglected. You really have to have loads of documentation on BM, proving she is neglecting the kids. Do you have that?

YES.

I certainly have! I did so when everyone else in my youngest SD's family wanted to but didn't have the balls to carry through. Many of them (Aunt, Uncle, Grandma, even DH threatened to call CPS but never did). I finally made the call one night after hearing the latest stories coming from BM's house....strange, drunken men that she picked up in bars passed out on her living room floor...rats infested in her home (because it's utterly filthy ALL THE TIME) and all sorts of things.

I called CPS instead of filing a written report, so it was anonymous. I don't believe she ever found out it was me. Luckily for me, BM has LOT'S of suspects and SD told me who she and her BM thought called and it wasn't me, LOL. So no retaliation on my part.

Turns out that CPS went to my SD's SCHOOL and pulled her out of class and asked her questions about the report I made. NEVER went to the home and investigated! Of course SD denied everything to protect her BM and CPS failed to find anything because they made no real attempt.

Instead, I got a call from CPS a few days later as a follow up. They basically grilled me for calling because I personally had never been inside BM's home (although I had smelled it from the driveway) and had seen the filth in pictures on SD's phone, FB page, etc and heard all the accounts from DH and DH's family. CPS treated me like a criminal.

I have not called CPS on BM, although I probably should..

I actually had an incident with CPS today- BM called them on us!! She claimed SD told her 2 days ago that she saw DH using drugs.. funny because BM hasn't seen or spoken to SD in 2 weeks! So she basically just made herself look like an ass!

The social worker who came to talk to my DH told him it was BM who called so I am not sure how confidential they keep those reports.

I have, but as the person above stated, MAKE SURE you have evidence to show them. In our case, the BM was living in a 2 bed apt and she had another woman and her child move into one of the rooms. The other child was physically abusive to my SD and she would come back to our home with bruises. She was 5 at the time and the other child was 7. BM was a bartender and would leave the girls with this person, sometimes not returning home for 2 days, instead of just having them come to our home, so my SD was subjected to this other child's abuse with no "out." The other woman and BM blamed my SD and told her to quit lying when she tried to tell them what was happening. My DH and I decided it would be best for me to call social services so they couldn't say it was him and after I made a report, the assigned worker called BM first to set up an appt, instead of just dropping in, and BM had the other lady move out quickly and then set up the room to seem like it was just she and my 3 SD's living there. Other than the relief of knowing that other child was out of the home, it turned into a bad deal and the whole thing ended up backfiring in our faces. The social worker was sympathetic to BM (she's a great liar) and told her who called. BM also received a letter from the social worker stating that there was no evidence to support neglect and suggested malicious intent and so, of course, when she took my DH to court a few months later, she used the report against him stating that we were just trying to make her look like a bad parent. I did have to testify that I called and why, but thankfully the judge dismissed her case. Years later, we have full custody because she managed to ruin her own credibility, but my advice is make sure you have evidence to back up anything you accuse her of. Don't count on the kids to be forthcoming because when push comes to shove, unless they are really fed up, they won't want their BM to get into trouble and they will often not tell the truth about what goes on.

Also, we went through the same thing with my SD's BM not having enough beds, etc (it bothered the kids which is why we said something), and we were told that as long as the children were in a safe environment, they can sleep on the floor with pillows and sleeping bags if that is all the BM has for them. It can actually make you look bad to complain. Unless there is a real danger or it's not a sanitary environment, we were told by our attorney that you can't really control what the other parent does in their home, especially if they say they can't afford beds (or something along those lines) and are doing the best they can. My Skids BM didn't have a table for awhile and she had the kids eating on the kitchen floor and there wasn't anything we could do about it. It was her choice.

Good luck everyone.

In my experience, it is far better to have a "professional" report, they take that more seriously. I have serious concerns regarding my son at my ex's (legitimately so, he was placed with me by CPS for the summer), I have discovered that now my son is in counseling, they respond far more effectively and efficiently with a call from his counselor or school, than from me (they have received both).

Amazingly, my ex keeps being the one causing the counselor to call CPS. Counselor will not call based on what I say, but only if son or ex verifies. But, with my information she can ask the right questions, for example, a response of ex "well the children like being punished by being hit with a large book". I guess I have the advantage of an ex who is insane!

Having said this even with documented abuse, documented sexual abuse in that house of my son and everything else, at this point they are not doing anything. Perhaps as most of the abuse is at the hands of the other kids.

You just have to keep plodding, but if you have serious concerns, I would recommend a medical professional to document it. Kids open up to them. And just remember, it takes a lot for action, unfortunately.

SD's BM admitted to slapping SD so hard across the face she caused a nosebleed. When CPS was called nothing was done it was just investigated. This is because our case worker felt it was not happening anymore/repeatidly. Basically we have to wait until BM does something again for it to be taken seriously, sad really.